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Man Dies After 'Friends' Insert Eel in His Rectum

A man has died after an eel that was inserted into his rectum gnawed away at his bowels, causing agonising injuries which were eventually fatal.

The 59-year-old man, a chef, was reportedly taken to a Sichuan hospital complaining of abdominal pain, dehydration and a great deal of anal bleeding. He was soon diagnosed as being in a severe state of shock.

Doctors were mystified as to the cause, and obtained permission from his family to undertake an exploratory laparotomy. Cutting open his innards, they discovered a 50cm long Asian swamp eel lodged in his rectum.

Though dead, the eel had apparently already wrought havoc on his innards, biting its way through his intestines prior to dying. Internal bleeding and infection rapidly set in.

He was reported to have eaten a lot of eel the previous day, but otherwise doctors had no idea how the creature had got there. His condition quickly worsened.

He lingered for 10 days in intensive care but eventually succumbed to the injuries and sepsis.

The likely cause was eventually established - he had apparently been drinking with friends, and had passed out. His friends had decided it would be amusing to insert a live eel into his anus whilst he was comatose.

Police have reportedly begun an investigation.

That’s really fucked up.

It’s retards like that who give alcohol a bad name.

IMO gang activity and the news report is just covering it up… “got drunk with friends” isn’t a very good explanation for what had happened

He must’ve been wasted because 50cm is 19.6".

omg!!! this is … um fuck… Im speechless.

fucking roflmao!!!

WTF?

Tragically ‘Stick it in his pooper’ is not always the right answer.

Really, with friends like those who needs enemies?

The subject of the next break.com frat boy prank video. Hope not. This makes me hate humanity.

[quote]Alffi wrote:
The subject of the next break.com frat boy prank video. Hope not. This makes me hate humanity.[/quote]
This makes me hate humanity even more.

I never understood why ppl think its funny to stick random things up someones ass, pull out their sack in public or just other dumbass shit of this kind. All his friends that had a hand in this needs some jail time.

I already hated humanity in part because of Alffi, but yes, x2.

Didn’t Chris Rock have a bit in one of his stand up routines where he addresses people sticking stuff up people’s asses while they were passed out. He says, “that would never happen with black people. If a black guy woke up with a carrot up his ass, he’d go kill the guy who did it.”

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Didn’t Chris Rock have a bit in one of his stand up routines where he addresses people sticking stuff up people’s asses while they were passed out. He says, “that would never happen with black people. If a black guy woke up with a carrot up his ass, he’d go kill the guy who did it.”[/quote]

I think it was Dave Chappelle.

[quote]pzehtoeur wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Didn’t Chris Rock have a bit in one of his stand up routines where he addresses people sticking stuff up people’s asses while they were passed out. He says, “that would never happen with black people. If a black guy woke up with a carrot up his ass, he’d go kill the guy who did it.”[/quote]

I think it was Dave Chappelle. [/quote]

it was

[quote]theuofh wrote:
He must’ve been wasted because 50cm is 19.6". [/quote]

This made me LOL, but damn, that’s seriously fucked up.

[quote]Himora22 wrote:

[quote]pzehtoeur wrote:

[quote]postholedigger wrote:
Didn’t Chris Rock have a bit in one of his stand up routines where he addresses people sticking stuff up people’s asses while they were passed out. He says, “that would never happen with black people. If a black guy woke up with a carrot up his ass, he’d go kill the guy who did it.”[/quote]

I think it was Dave Chappelle. [/quote]

it was[/quote]

I stand corrected.

[quote]Seize wrote:
Really, with friends like those who needs enemies?[/quote]

So close…you coulda wowed us with, “Really, with friends like those who needs enemas?”

[quote]Seize wrote:
Really, with friends like those who needs enemies?[/quote]

Hitler

Even in my most blacked out drunk stage did it ever cross my mind to stick something up another mans ass. His friends caught the ghey.