T Nation

Male Bashing, Again


#1

I saw this on my Facebook feed. A friend was tagged in it along with 83 other people, both men and women. Why would anyone find this interesting or funny enough to want to tell every single person they know? Is it motivated by hatred? Does it really strike some people as funny and if so, is it because they’re in this kind of unbalanced relationship? Is it relatable for men?

I suppose why I thought to post it here is that so many men were tagged in it. Do any of you find it funny? It didn’t fill me with rage or anything, just left me feeling puzzled and slightly dismayed.


#2

I do find it mildly funny. Not laughing-out-loud funny, but definitely chuckling a couple of times. I really don’t think it’s male-bashing…just light humor…and I think anyone that does actually find it “offensive” is a little too easily offended.

My assumption (and I know it’s dangerous to assume) is that, very broadly speaking, most people in happy, secure, and loving relationships would think the same. My parents (married 36 years) joke about stuff like this all the time; both sets of my grandparents (dad’s parents married 61 years; mom’s parents were married 60-plus years before he died this year) did too. But the truth was that all of those couples had very balanced relationships. I’m not speaking from all that much experience, given that I’ve been married for all of 36 days now, but my wife & I share plenty of jokes like this, too. I’ll playfully say “I’m a MAN! I play by my rules!” as I’m folding the laundry; we’ll joke about which one controls the other; etc. But that works because neither of us actually feels like it’s unbalanced.


#3

I literally, obviously joking, told my wife last night to make me a cup of coffee, as if she was my secretary in 1936 (I even imitated Sean Connery for some reason…), while I did some work from our home office.

She, jokingly (hopefully 0_o) threatened to cut my wee wee off.

I didn’t watch the video (I’m at work),but if it’s along those lines then it seems harmless to me.


#4

I make sexist jokes, too (“I can’t! I’m just a girl!”) and find them funny, as does Kevin, but we’re so balanced in terms of power. He probably wields a little more but that’s because I’m adverse to conflict generally speaking. When it’s something that matters to me I will shank him if needed to get my way.

I guess because the video was all down-trod man jokes, I thought that men would find it upsetting or unfair.


#5

I mean, is it that surprising? That’s sorta, generally, how it is. Look at sitcoms, for example. The woman is usually very attractive, smart, and she’s portrayed as right like 99% of the time. The man is usually a complete moron.

Some examples off the top of my head:
King of Queens
Everybody loves Raymond

Commercials, same thing.

Movies, same thing and it’s annoying. Every chick flick is the same. Guy and girl fall in love. Guy does something stupid. Girl leaves. Guy chases her. Etc, etc…

I think we’re just used to it.


#6

It is tragically funny, in a way. If a woman were singing it from the opposite perspective, it would not be amusing at all.

A lot of relationships are actually like that though. My best friend is slowly creeping into the browbeaten category, and he’s a Grade-A alpha ass-kicking doctor that makes nearly seven figures. You need to be willing to piss your wife off to stand your ground, and some men live by the bullshit motto that “a happy wife means a happy life,” until they realize that constantly trying to make anyone happy is a surefire way to make them lose all respect for you. When that happens, nobody’s happy.


#7

The more of a hard, in control of his household man you were around growing up. The funner this would be. No days I’m not sure why anyone would think it funny. There are few men how brag about being the boss anymore. Even those who are, they don’t talk about like once they did.

Maybe it is a childhood memory that makes this funny for some


#8

I cringe when I hear that happy wife line. You’re bang on about the woman losing all respect. I think a lot of that nagging and resentment you hear about from a guy’s wife comes from her being pissed that her husband rolled over and let her boss him around. No woman wants to date a weenie.

Some guys take it too far and insist on making ALL the decisions because, well, they’re ALPHA. Being a control freak isn’t manly. Many women are controlling.

My personnel rule when taking a stand is that even if she walks out the door and leaves I’ll still be happy with my decision at the end of it all. If I won’t be then it’s not really worth getting into a fight over.

My girlfriend and I make sexist jokes at each other daily and we always have a good laugh about it.


#9

I dont care about male bashing because I am à man. D’identité even need to read anything. D’identité even need to tien off french auto writer


#10

I completely agree. While I’m not always specifically happy about being stood up to or thwarted, because I wanted whatever I wanted, I am happy that he’s his own person and not looking to me to be the boss. It’s frankly too much responsibility. The other thing is that he DOES actively try to make me happy - just on his terms. My behavior is really no different. It’s important to me that he be happy (happy man is equally necessary to a happy life, IMO) but I’m not willing to be the only one compromising my wants/needs in order to have that. So I do nice things for him, but occasionally become mulish about one issue or another.

My best friend once said “Some things are worth fighting about. Most things aren’t.” That about sums it up for me.

[quote=“Watchdog, post:8, topic:221581”]
My personal rule when taking a stand is that even if she walks out the door and leaves I’ll still be happy with my decision at the end of it all. If I won’t be then it’s not really worth getting into a fight over.[/quote]

Exactly.


#11

LOL…it’s all on the down low now.

When we were first getting serious and traveled somewhere I’d go to get my suitcase out of the trunk because I’m feminist enough that I don’t think someone else should have to haul around my overloaded bag (him: two outfits for two days, me: five outfits for two days, plus shoes, toiletries, sweaters, etc). He’d say “I’ll get it,” and if I persisted in reaching for it (politely to be fair) say something to the effect of “you want to be liberated? fine, you carry it.” Since I really get no joy out of carrying my miserably over-packed shit, I now stand back and ask if he’d like help. Happy him, happy me = happy life.


#12

Also, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Neither my husband nor I are weenies but sometimes you just have to let some shit go.


#13

Good move. Relationships are a stupid place for dogma. Even worse if it is dogma that one has fed to them in collage.


#14

You know, maybe “happy wife, happy life” isn’t so far off. Maybe the key is to marry someone with a cheerful disposition (“happy”) who is willing to compromise and let petty irritations go. I don’t think you’re going to have a happy life if you have to keep desperately trying to placate someone to keep them happy, whether male or female. And of course someone needing constant placating is an unhappy creature at heart.

Two fundamentally happy people = a pretty good time with no one having to constantly give over, which of course builds bitterness over time along with losing the pandered-to partner’s respect.


#15

People are beat over the head for even slightly venting anger/frustration/whatever at the wrong group. You’re practically tarred and feathered with a keyboard army ready to smear you for life with one wrong step.

Bearing the brunt of all society’s hate is just the modern day version of protecting your clan. We didnt choose this destiny but we will carry society’s burden for the benefit of all.

BTW, I’m practising for an academic career :smile: