T Nation

Making Fun of Christians

This is why:

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20050530/pollitt

An excerpt:

Imagine a vaccine that would protect women from a serious gynecological cancer. Wouldn’t that be great? Well, both Merck and GlaxoSmithKline recently announced that they have conducted successful trials of vaccines that protect against the human papilloma virus. HPV is not only an incredibly widespread sexually transmitted infection but is responsible for at least 70 percent of cases of cervical cancer, which is diagnosed in 10,000 American women a year and kills 4,000.

Wonderful, you are probably thinking, all we need to do is vaccinate girls (and boys too for good measure) before they become sexually active, around puberty, and HPV–and, in thirty or forty years, seven in ten cases of cervical cancer–goes poof. Not so fast: We’re living in God’s country now. The Christian right doesn’t like the sound of this vaccine at all.

“Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful,” Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council told the British magazine New Scientist, “because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex.” Raise your hand if you think that what is keeping girls virgins now is the threat of getting cervical cancer when they are 60 from a disease they’ve probably never heard of.

So the next time someone on these boards or in the real world asks, “Why do you make fun of Christians?” Point them to this article.

http://www.cyberdespot.com/home.html?jesustricks/index.html&frames/left.html&frames/top.html

Lorie and Dennis Nixon are on trial for allowing their 16 year old daughter to die of untreated diabetes. This is the second child they’ve lost! You would think that they would have learned the first time they lost their 8 year old son to an inner-ear infection!!!

http://heaveno.com/

RESOLUTION

WHEREAS, Since the time of man’s dawn, we have created traditions to lead us through life, and

WHEREAS, Leonso Canales Jr. has received national acclaim for coining the greeting “HeavenO,” which could become a positive tradition, and

WHEREAS, We live in a time referred by historians as the Age of Anxiety in
cycles of change, and

WHEREAS, The Age of Anxiety in the Millennial Cycle includes the baby
boomers, the Hippie turned Yuppie, and the New Youth, and

WHEREAS, The New Youth need hope for their millennial kingdom of opportunity
which includes a promise of good health care, of employment for the future, and the positive greeting epitomized by Mr. Canales’ “HeavenO” as a symbol of good things to come, and

WHEREAS, We cannot wait for the millennial norm to be spontaneous behavior, but instead, we need to take the rod in hand and proclaim peace and “HeavenO” to our neighbors throughout the world,

NOW, THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that Kleberg County adopts Mr. Leonso Canales Jr.'s universal greeting of “HeavenO” as the official greeting of Kleberg County and as a symbol of peace, friendship, and welcome,

LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED that Kleberg County commends Mr. Leonso Canales Jr. for his positive approach to greeting people, the national attention he has brought to our county, and his dedication to community.

http://www.godhatesfags.com/

ood old Fred Phelps is the loving Reverend of the The Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas. It’s membership consists mainly of his family and a few mental patients who’ve been off of their medicine for far to long. The reverends loving speeches include the following (taken directly from his FAQ page: GOD HATES FAGS, FAGS HATE GOD, AIDS CURES FAGS, THANK GOD FOR AIDS, FAGS BURN IN HELL, NO TEARS FOR QUEERS, SIN & SHAME NOT PRIDE, FAG=ANAL SEX=DEATH, FAG=AIDS=DEATH, GOD IS NOT MOCKED, FAGS ARE NATURE FREAKS, GOD GAVE FAGS UP, NO SPECIAL LAWS FOR FAGS, etc

http://www.christiangallery.com/digest.html
This guy is a veritable treasure trove of hated, bigotry and calls for murder. In fact, he was such a great fundy, that I had to include the juiciest bits from his site so that you don?t miss a single bile spitting bit. This guy hates everybody.

http://christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-r002.html
Their loving god is going to throw everyone else into Hell.

http://christiananswers.net/q-dml/dml-y015.html
It’s okay to date a nonchristian as long as you’re trying to convert him and don’t get married, that would be bad because all nonchristians are evil animals. Don’t forget to get your fundy friends to begin harassing this guy to turn to Gwad.

I have to post something in this thread, just because it’s me.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1001/fundamentalists.html

The landoverbaptist people are, in my opinion, some of the cooler of the fundie satirists out there.

The quizzes are pure gold.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1001/fundamentalists.html

… and also I’d like to point out that it is our solemn duty as normal, free-thinking human beings to ridicule (even severely) those of our people who persist in noisesome endeavors such as fundamentalist evangelistic Chrisianity. It is our duty, dammit!

And personally, I like to dress my heckling up as “It’s for their own good to get some perspective” or some shit, but honestly… that’s not the truth.

The truth is that fundie evangelists are exactly like some guy who farts over and over in a crowded elevator on purpose, deriving overt pleasure from the smell of his own gaseous excrement. I will not just stand there and take it. I will very pointed ask him if he wouldn’t mind shutting his ass before I shut it for him.

Think of it as a public service for everybody else on the elevator who has to put up with the farting besides me. That’s who we really do it for.

[quote]doogie wrote:
The quizzes are pure gold.

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1001/fundamentalists.html

[/quote]

Oh, and try out the “Kid’s Korner” section. It’s priceless. :slight_smile:

It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…[/quote]

You’re just prejudiced, that’s all.
Even JeffR is a heathen.

You guys do know that the landoverbaptist.com thing is a joke, right? From their “about us” section:

“The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody.”

A lot of effort is being spent on that website. It’s actually kind of sick that someone would be that dedicated to being anti-Christian. That’s just hateful.

I hope you don’t think it’s real. And don’t condemn half the planet because of a few crazy “fundamentalists”. Every group or organization has a few weirdos. For example, we have Harris.

This is obviously just another stupid flaming post to get people upset.

Doogie,

You’ve probably explained this elsewhere and its just a matter of curiousity but: how do you have so much time to surf for all these sites? I know you’re a family man. Did you hit the lottery and now do this? I have 3 kids and my time is VERY limited.

This is not a flame or a set-up. I am simply curious as to your means and motivation.

HH

[quote]PGJ wrote:
You guys do know that the landoverbaptist.com thing is a joke, right? [/quote]

I think the word “satirists” in lotho’s post let’s us know he’s probably in on the joke.

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Doogie,

You’ve probably explained this elsewhere and its just a matter of curiousity but: how do you have so much time to surf for all these sites? I know you’re a family man. Did you hit the lottery and now do this? I have 3 kids and my time is VERY limited.

This is not a flame or a set-up. I am simply curious as to your means and motivation.

HH[/quote]

I teach and it’s the end of the year, so I haven’t had any real work responsibilities to bring home lately.

I’m finishing up my MPA and I’m in an RN program online, so I haven’t been sleeping much at all while I work on those at night. As soon as I get home, my ass has been attached to this chair for nearly two weeks. I think that doing research for my MPA has spilled over to me pasting 1000 links in the last week. My mind is sleep deprived.

I have a short attention span, so I’ll usually have 8 or 9 tabs open on Mozilla. Work a little, surf a little, post a little, Diet Coke, nap. That’s been the pattern for the last couple of weeks.

That will all be ending Sunday, though. Back to regular sleep patterns.

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…[/quote]

(Astonished) Why Irish…why arn’t you railing against this thread?

It talks about (gasp) religion!

Remember…you hate religious threads…

Oh…that’s right it slams Christians so threads like this one are okay.

Sorry…I forgot.

Your Friend,

Zeb

[quote]ZEB wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…

(Astonished) Why Irish…why arn’t you railing against this thread?

It talks about (gasp) religion!

Remember…you hate religious threads…

Oh…that’s right it slams Christians so threads like this one are okay.

Sorry…I forgot.

Your Friend,

Zeb[/quote]

Well it is not about the existence of god, which has seemingly taken over this site recently, which may pull the “bollocks” chain.

I think we may need to hae a serious think about the frequency of god orientated threads. Is that all people can think of…“favourite bible versus”.

Very T, i am sure.

What do you think…time and place?

[quote]ZEB wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…

(Astonished) Why Irish…why arn’t you railing against this thread?

It talks about (gasp) religion!

Remember…you hate religious threads…

Oh…that’s right it slams Christians so threads like this one are okay.

Sorry…I forgot.

Your Friend,

Zeb[/quote]

I haven’t seen anyone trying to convert me yet…which makes it different than all the other threads that were started

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
ZEB wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
It’s good to see that folks who consider themselves conservatives do not always take the holy roller thing too seriously…

Sometimes we in New Jersey wonder if the rest of the county (and the Republican Party) turned on us when we weren’t looking…

(Astonished) Why Irish…why arn’t you railing against this thread?

It talks about (gasp) religion!

Remember…you hate religious threads…

Oh…that’s right it slams Christians so threads like this one are okay.

Sorry…I forgot.

Your Friend,

Zeb

I haven’t seen anyone trying to convert me yet…which makes it different than all the other threads that were started[/quote]

Yes, as I said, you are not really sick of “religious threads.”

You are sick of “Pro religious” threads.

Any threads bashing Christians in any way you welcome!

I get it.

[quote]ZEB wrote:
Yes, as I said, you are not really sick of “religious threads.”

You are sick of “Pro religious” threads.

Any threads bashing Christians in any way you welcome!

I get it.
[/quote]

Maybe he’s just normal, ZEB.

When you guys go through the trouble of putting red balls on your noses, painting your faces all goofy, and wearing big puffy costumes, I’m going to at least honor you by pointing and laughing at you.

And you guys like it to be our clowns. Admit it. Why else would there be so many attention whore Jesus threads lately?

[quote]lothario1132 wrote:
ZEB wrote:
Yes, as I said, you are not really sick of “religious threads.”

You are sick of “Pro religious” threads.

Any threads bashing Christians in any way you welcome!

I get it.

Maybe he’s just normal, ZEB.[/quote]

It might just be in your world most people make fun of Christians, I don’t know. But in the real world most people are Christian and hardly anyone makes fun of them.

Then again the Internet gives some people courage. Like you for instance. I bet you have not made fun of a Christian face to face in…oh quite a while.

[quote]ZEB wrote:
lothario1132 wrote:
ZEB wrote:
Yes, as I said, you are not really sick of “religious threads.”

You are sick of “Pro religious” threads.

Any threads bashing Christians in any way you welcome!

I get it.

Maybe he’s just normal, ZEB.

It might just be in your world most people make fun of Christians, I don’t know. But in the real world most people are Christian and hardly anyone makes fun of them.

Then again the Internet gives some people courage. Like you for instance. I bet you have not made fun of a Christian face to face in…oh quite a while.

[/quote]

In the real world allmost allmost noone is a Christian…

Just because in your neck of the woods one or two people believe in something…

[quote]Zeb imagined:
You guys all hate Christianity, boo hoo…[/quote]

Zeb,

There is a big difference about a thread discussing Christianity as a topic and a thread where a bunch of nearly illiterate bible thumpers are proclaiming who will suffer damnation because they don’t share the exact same fundie viewpoint.

GarrraaazuauughghGGasd;flkj!

If those other threads were simply a discussion and not some type of recruitment, conversion, same old message style blather, they would receive a much (ironically) warmer reception, IMO.

I suspect this thread exists merely to help keep the universe in balance. You know what happens when the universe is out of balance, right? Everything goes straight to hell! :wink: