Tie a 45lb. plate and a stick of c-4 to her head and push her into the deep end of the pool. Call it the Revolutionary Survival/Seal Team/ Super Set. When(if) she gets out of the water, shoot at her with an AK-47 until she's out of range. Finish it up with a hand to hand combat sesion. That should get some juices flowing. And it has the initials or some realy fast old cars.
It has all the flavor of a modern fitness chain workout, plus the added benefits of real world application(unlike tae bo and some others). It may cause some rise in cortisol levels due to stress, but they should be minute, and can be reduced with cortislim and some post workout heroine.
Comical idiocy aside, we can't say where to go if we don't know where she's been. Whats the current program?