T Nation

Make-up Sex

Hey guys, I wanted to have a discussion on a topic that I can’t find any good information on. I would like to learn more about what is happening biologically during make-up sex and what the difference is between regular sex.

The reason why I ask is because in January 2010 I first noticed that my libido was diminishing. A month later me and my girlfriend got into a huge fight where we had broken up. This isn’t jus’ some girlfriend but someone I’ve been with for 8 years now. The fight was unrelated to my diminishing libido but after a week or two when we reconciled, I had a huge increase in libido. I was an animal and thought, “Whew! I still have my libido!” After awhile, it diminished again, rather quickly.

So again, does anyone have any good scholarly articles regarding make-up sex? It’s funny how reconciling with my girlfriend turned me from “not interested” the day before to “gorilla-crazy-horny” on the day we made up given that, at the time, my hormones shouldn’t have changed significantly during that span of a day.

Oh, and I decided to put this thread in the TRT section since it’s my belief that most people check their testosterone levels because they’ve felt a decrease in libido. This thread is an attempt to start a healthy discussion to maybe find an answer to libido problems for men contemplating TRT or currently on a TRT program.

Hormones are but one piece of the puzzle when it comes to desire, or lack thereof.

Trying to find a direct correlation (at least to the degree you appear to want one) is misguided.

That being said, there’s tons of popular evolutionary theories as to why “make-up sex” or sex after watching a scary movie together, or taboo sex acts are exciting.

<-------------- Not a Dr.

Oh man, you really need to read the book Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. It will answer this and a whole lot of other questions as well.

In brief, the evolutionary or primitive side of your brain sees your mate’s departure as a potential threat–a threat to the perpetuation of your own genes. It sees your girlfriend’s departure as an occasion for another male’s seed to take the place of yours. In response, your autonomic nervous system takes the cue to ramp up your own production of swimmers–some of which are specifically designed to knock-out the competition once launched inside her uterus. Your libido also “rises” to the critical task at hand. Voila! Great sex ensues.

I’m not saying your girlfriend cheated. Not at all. But your hind-brain doesn’t know this. It’s simply a naturally selected response on your body’s part. Males who developed this response in eons past were more effective in passing along their genes.


dr.mcmc that is a great book and definetly informative on many different occasions. To the OP can’t really give an answer but that book is definetly a good read and gives one perspective on why make-up sex is so great.