T Nation

Maintaining a FWB Relationship


#1

SAMA resurrection.

Met this girl who told me she wanted a FWB relationship. Going mostly okay, but worried she's getting too attached even though she suggested the FWB thing. She showed up at the bar I work at drunk and horny, showing more affection than I am comfortable with. She has talked to her friends about me and has asked at least one for an opinion of me.

Part of it might be my fault. I'm fairly affectionate physically and otherwise when we are together. She has asked me about it and I told her that is just how I am. I just want to treat my FWBs well and it doesn't mean anything. We don't call or text other than about practical things (like meeting up). We meet up no more often than once a week and it's for sex. She stays the night but leaves in the morning (not really practical for her to go home). I don't pry into her personal life much (though she asks a lot more about me).

Want to keep this as casual as possible. Not willing to date her. What's my best course of action from here?


#2

FWB = fat white bitch?

Just buy her jewellery and cake and shit.


#3

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
FWB = fat white bitch?

Just buy her jewellery and cake and shit.[/quote]
FWB=friends with benefits, but in this case I think he just means someone he has casual sex with on a regular basis.


#4

[quote]Destrength wrote:

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
FWB = fat white bitch?

Just buy her jewellery and cake and shit.[/quote]
FWB=friends with benefits, but in this case I think he just means someone he has casual sex with on a regular basis. [/quote]

Yes, I know. Thank you.


#5

You don’t want to date her you just want to have sex? There’s a difference? Isn’t dating just the shit you have to go through to have sex with these creatures? What you mean is she wants you to go through more shit than you are prepared to go through.


#6

She wants a relationship. She used the FWB to try to get you hooked. FWB never lasts forever. Eventually one party either wants a relationship or loses interest. Since you are using plurals above WRT what I’d assume is multiple FWB’s, I don’t see why you would care about this one wanting more and just cutting her loose and picking up another…unless you’re wanting more and putting up a front.


#7

We REALLY need SAMA opened back up.

Have you tried just having an open honest conversation with her where you restate the FWB status and the expectations of said arrangement?


#8

I’m pretty sure that pics are required for these threads.


#9

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Not willing to date her. [/quote]

Too late lol.

Oldest trick in the book.

Break up with her sooner rather than later if you don’t want to admit it’s now a relationship.

FWI, my marriage basically started the same way. lmao. It just sort of happened.


#10

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
Not willing to date her. [/quote]

Too late lol.

Oldest trick in the book.

Break up with her sooner rather than later if you don’t want to admit it’s now a relationship.

FWI, my marriage basically started the same way. lmao. It just sort of happened. [/quote]

So now you are a father with benefits?


#11

What JLD said.

In my experiences, FWB a.k.a. fuckbuddy situations never last for a long time.

It’s in women’s DNA to start having feelings for a guy that they’re sleeping with.

This is not to say that it happens 100% of the time, it’s just a very common theme. Many of them will suppress the urge because they know you don’t want it, but eventually their will power will give out like your legs on a max squat attempt when you’ve already done a widowmaker or 2 and they’ll start getting all loveydovey with you and act like it’s ok. It gets to a point where they literally can’t help it any more.

The more often you do it with her the more quickly she’ll start to catch feelings for you. All you can do is ride the wave until it washes ashore, then you have to go catch another wave.

I’d urge you to maintain complete honesty and always be clear, just because it’s a dooshbag move not to. There’s plenty of women out there who will jump into that situation with you, there’s no need to stay attached to one specific one that you only want to have sex with (this is assuming you’re not in denial about your feelings for her).

If she’s ready to go, set her free. It’s already building to a head (pun intented?).

We really do need to bring SAMA back, it was easily the most entertaining group in the forums and it was a great way to keep people eager to come to the site outside of lifitng info (hint hint, mods :wink: )


#12

Varq - fat white bitch lol awesome post

Dude, NO girl/woman wants to be a FWB (all I can think of is fat white bitch lol)

Every woman wants a stable relationship, like others said it’s a way to get you hooked. Then comes the woman’s feelings of entitlement over you because they gave up their all mighty V, like you owe her for doing so, and then it gets crazy and goes down hill from there, seen it too many times, get out now if you don’t want to date.

Like my friend once told me “All women are crazy, even if they seem normal; it means you haven’t figured it out yet.”


#13

[quote]The Big AC wrote:

Like my friend once told me “All women are crazy, even if they seem normal; it means you haven’t figured it out yet.”[/quote]

One of the reasons I married my wife - she has the least amount of crazy of any woman I’ve met - plus I tell her this and she laughs and agrees with me. Love that woman


#14

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#15

Like others said, the friends with benefits or fuck buddies never lasts. I’ve done it on numerous occasions and the girls always get attached after awhile. You will probably have to end it unless you want a relationship. At least you got some for awhile.


#16

[quote]The Big AC wrote:
Dude, NO girl/woman wants to be a FWB (all I can think of is fat white bitch lol)
[/quote]

She suggested it. Not only that, she followed up by complaining that she always had a problem with other guys getting too attached. Well, until she met the guy who didn’t. Funny how that shit works. I just want a drinking buddy I can screw with as little commitment as possible. No more relationships for this guy.

Thanks for all the advice fellas. For better or worse, she has a certain physiological attribute that I’m rather fond of, so I probably won’t jettison her just yet. I suppose I can forgive this infraction as she was pretty drunk (the norm when we get together, excluding me at work), but I’m definitely going to have to have a boundaries talk with her if anything else of this magnitude pops up in the future, which it probably will.


#17

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#18

The sooner you cut it off, the less she’ll be hurt when you do.


#19

[quote]The Big AC wrote:
Varq - fat white bitch lol awesome post

Dude, NO girl/woman wants to be a FWB (all I can think of is fat white bitch lol)

Every woman wants a stable relationship, like others said it’s a way to get you hooked. Then comes the woman’s feelings of entitlement over you because they gave up their all mighty V, like you owe her for doing so, and then it gets crazy and goes down hill from there, seen it too many times, get out now if you don’t want to date.

Like my friend once told me “All women are crazy, even if they seem normal; it means you haven’t figured it out yet.”[/quote]

I think that they instinctively want a stable relationship, but many of them fight their instincts. It’s a losing battle, only a matter of time before it happens.

I believe that lots do want a FWB situation in their minds (but deep down inside, they really don’t). And I also think for many it’s a phase they go through.

Either way, it probably won’t last for a long time. Just enjoy it, recognize when time is up, and don’t be selfish.

[quote]Aggv wrote:
The sooner you cut it off, the less she’ll be hurt when you do. [/quote]

This. If you care about her feelings, you’ll heed this.

By the way, in my experiences, alcohol is a truth serum. It’s likely that she stopped holding back and let you know how she really feels when you got drunk with her.


#20

[quote]TDub301 wrote:
eventually their will power will give out like your legs on a max squat attempt when you’ve already done a widowmaker or 2 and they’ll start getting all loveydovey with you and act like it’s ok. [/quote]

lol ok