My lowest point? Many would say last night. But the that appears to be every Friday night. So my lowest point, of all lowest points, is likely to be about six months from yesterday at around 2 o clock in the morning.
I’ll talk to you then.
I’d say the lowest point in my life was my last semester of college through at least the next two years. It didn’t all suck, there were good times and bad. But I’d say it was the lowest point because I had lost all sense of direction and confidence in myself. I had always wanted to go into film making, that’s what I went to school for, but it just seemed like too frivolous a thing to devote ones life to. And of course other shit happened, like I got rejected by a girl I was too serious about, some people I thought were friends let me down, all that shit.
I worked a lot of shitty jobs, breathed sheetrock dust, rim cleaning fluid, waited on shitty customers. I figured out that what I need is hard work. Six hours of sleep is bliss if you paid for the roof over your head, and fourteen hours of just laying there staring at the ceiling because you’ve got no reason to get up is pure hell. My goal became financial independence, moving back out of my parents house, paying my own car insurance, buying a motorcycle. Material things, sure, but I think before you can find some deeper purpose or meaning to life you’ve got to take care of the basics yourself.
So if I have any advice, it would be just stay on your feet and keep moving.
Lowest point I had was this past winter. There is too much of a back story but basically I was in the lowest point of my depression ever brought on first by my father(drugs)and then more recently by drinking extremely for a young kid(16-17 at the time)and the unexpected death of my brother about a week before I graduated high school.
I was depressed, failing school(had a 3.0 before), hated my roommates, was in debt(because of roommates) and couldn’t afford food(literally eating 1 time a day at most) and isolated myself so much I couldn’t dig myself out. Needless to say I had stopped training, lost a ton of muscle and strength, and also lost most of my friends.
How did I get out of it? I’m still doing that today. First thing was to NEVER let anyone have any control over me like my roommates did again. Second was to stop drinking basically. Third was to start training again. Most recently I have started counseling on my own with the plan of sticking with it and we are talking about anti depressants but haven’t gone that route yet. It’s not an easy road but it’s the one that makes my life. There isn’t a reason to complain because I’ve been blessed with some great friends, a good mother and sister and I have my physical health. The hardest part was taking those first steps towards helping myself, and admitting I wasn’t able to do it alone.
[quote]Scott M wrote:
Lowest point I had was this past winter. There is too much of a back story but basically I was in the lowest point of my depression ever brought on first by my father(drugs)and then more recently by drinking extremely for a young kid(16-17 at the time)and the unexpected death of my brother about a week before I graduated high school.
I was depressed, failing school(had a 3.0 before), hated my roommates, was in debt(because of roommates) and couldn’t afford food(literally eating 1 time a day at most) and isolated myself so much I couldn’t dig myself out. Needless to say I had stopped training, lost a ton of muscle and strength, and also lost most of my friends.
How did I get out of it? I’m still doing that today. First thing was to NEVER let anyone have any control over me like my roommates did again. Second was to stop drinking basically. Third was to start training again. Most recently I have started counseling on my own with the plan of sticking with it and we are talking about anti depressants but haven’t gone that route yet. It’s not an easy road but it’s the one that makes my life. There isn’t a reason to complain because I’ve been blessed with some great friends, a good mother and sister and I have my physical health. The hardest part was taking those first steps towards helping myself, and admitting I wasn’t able to do it alone.
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Sorry to hear all that Scott, at least you can take comfort knowing you have a lot of friends here, and I certainly appreciate the help and friendship you have offered up my way. You just get stronger with time bro. I've been through some pretty gnarly shit the last few years myself, and time does help. You're a smart guy and you compose yourself well. You will get a handle on this for sure, and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors bro.
I know having a family now has helped me immensely with my problems from the past. It's a great journey we're on, and the tough shit just makes you appreciate how short and precious our time here is.
Keep lifting and motivating others bro.
ToneBone
[quote]Scott M wrote:
The hardest part was taking those first steps towards helping myself, and admitting I wasn’t able to do it alone.
[/quote]
I couldn’t agree more about the importance of seeking support, no matter how difficult it may seem. I went through severe depression last year which nearly cost me my life. I refused help, fearing that I would lose the respect of my peers and the athletic community if anyone ever found out that I was battling severe anxiety, depression and supressed grief over the loss of my father. I also dealt with my feelings by becoming a cutter. In the end I drove myself in to the ground and suffered complete burn-out which forced me out of premier league sports mid-season. There were only 2 weeks left in the semester, but I had to fly home so that I could be cared for, as even I feared the consequences of being left alone. This was unmistakably the lowest point in my life, and at the time I knew it.
It was with great reluctance that I saw a psychologist, but with her help I was able to generate a strong sense of self-awareness and a toolbox full of strategies for conflict management. It took a while (I took the non-medication approach) but I eventually reclaimed full faith in myself, my choices and my ability to react to life’s ups and downs. My advice to you is to find that resource, whether it is a community group, a loved one, a counsellor or a friend to help you manage the situation with support.
Check out A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis. This is a great introduction to rational emotive behavior therapy and his work is cited as the basis of congnitive therapy. Also check out Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. Start with things you can control, even if they seem trivial. Create momentum. You can do it. I don’t know your situation, but from the sound of it its gutcheck time. Push man!
In a submarine…20,000 leagues beneath the sea. I’ve never since been so far below the sea, and Captain Nemo just DOESN’T SHUT THE FUCK UP.
I’m probably the most fucked up person on this board. I won’t even tell you about it. But y’all are doing fine.
Nows a pretty shit time for me, im training for the Royal Marines and have been for a while, and now i have been cursed with injury, going to a physio in 2 days and am dreading the result, most likely be take 6-8 weeks off running, but for the ultimate worst case scenario which would be surgeery although i dont think its anywhere that serious but would bench me from joining for ages. The worst part is as the time comes closer to applying it just always seems to drift further away. Worst thing is that its all i want to do with my life…
Whoo. The worst time of my life?
I dunno, I’ve always suffered from depression. from 9-22 I’d go through good periods and very bad.
I’ve fixed myself up since then. I haven’t had an episode for about 2 years and that one was very mild.
I agree with what a few of the posters here have said. Depression is a cycle. If you don’t do something to break it, it repeats itself.
Definitely avoid drugs and alcohol and CHANGE something, get out of the rut.
For me, it was quitting my job to concentrate solely on what made me happy. It’s what led me to doing what I’m doing now and I’ve never been more contented.
I know I didn’t actually talk about any specific bad periods and trust me, I’ve had a lot. But that’s behind me now. I dwell on the future, not the past.
mine was crack pipe in mouth, lighter in left hand and a gun in right had at the temple ready to die and in treament less
than 48 hrs 1998. been clean since.
Bart
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
malonetd wrote:
About four years ago my wife left me and I wasted a lot of time and money trying to get her back. I blew way too much money and lost my job. I ended up homeless and sleeping in a park. (For the record, this is the second time I was homeless. In high school I was homeless for a while, too, after my mother ran off with one of her boyfriends. But, that’s a-whole-nother story.) I had no money, no family, no friends, and no job. I wanted to commit suicide.
I ended up taking a low wage job at a restaurant chain where I knew the manager. I met a girl who needed a roommate and I got in there pretty cheap. I got a second job. Etc, etc.
It took about three years to really get completely back on my feet and living comfortably again. Of course, I am still feeling some of the side effects of the whole thing. You don’t really think about getting your credit card payments in on time when you don’t have a roof over your head.
Putting me aside, I hope things get better for you and I hope you can find a way to make yourself happy. Good luck to you.
Wow, that’s good going dude.
Bushy[/quote]
That is pretty awesome. Maybe you should become a motivational speaker. You have the background, everyone can learn the business. I bet you could make a pretty penny.
Drug addiction.
I left the country.
There I was, lost in the middle of the Siberian forest. I needed to eat and the only thing around was Tim and Mack. I can’t go over four hours without food or I start to lose size. The liver is the most nutritious part.
Proxy and Tone, thanks for your posts, you are good people and Tone I will be sending you an email in the next couple of days.(Didn’t see your post until today, otherwise I would have said it a week ago)
[quote]belligerent wrote:
I’m probably the most fucked up person on this board. I won’t even tell you about it. But y’all are doing fine.[/quote]
Oh man, now I gotta know, but I understand. I don’t like talking about my dirty laundry either. It’s embarrassing.
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
You know, as much as I respect some of the posters on this thread, it REALLY dicks me off when they offer up lame attempts at humour.
Maybe they feel the need to lighten up a serious thread (I don’t know why) but either way, it seems pretty fucking disrespectful to those who have bared their souls and relived what must have been extremely harrowing experiences.
Grow up.
Bushy[/quote]
Agreed.
[quote]bushidobadboy wrote:
You know, as much as I respect some of the posters on this thread, it REALLY dicks me off when they offer up lame attempts at humour.
Maybe they feel the need to lighten up a serious thread (I don’t know why) but either way, it seems pretty fucking disrespectful to those who have bared their souls and relived what must have been extremely harrowing experiences.
Grow up.
Bushy[/quote]
I can understand your point. I meant no disrespect but what would you expect to happen when someone hangs their dirty laundry out in public? I’m just trying to get a smile on some peoples faces. Perhaps it was a lame attempt. Compared to most people my low points were very low. Joking about it is my way of lightening things up by putting it in a perspective thats not as painful. People take themselves too seriously IMO.