T Nation

Love Life Troubles

#1

More love life troubles, just what you all wanted to hear! Sorry, long post.

Here's my situation:

I'm dating a girl right now. She has a gorgeous body, is a firecracker sexually, and filthy stinking rich. Like we're talking, she will drop money on an expensive tropical vacation for us without even thinking twice about it. Sole heiress to a lucrative business.

Though somewhat materialistic, she's a surprisingly nice gal, and she cooks and gyms regularly. She's a bit eccentric, doesn't go out much and is kind of clingy, but she seems to be a genuinely good person and the more I get to know her the more respect I have for her.

Most of my friends are jealous because it sounds like a dream, right? BUT...

The chemistry isn't quite there for me. I don't quite feel comfortable enough around her to ever truly be myself, and it seems she's more into her idea of me rather than who I really am.

Normally, being a pampered trophy BF (especially when I'm a broke student) wouldn't bother me, but recently I met a new friend. She's also a gym junkie and comes from a pretty wealthy family (but not on the same level), but we have amazing chemistry. Being with her is like being with a friend that I've known for years.

We can talk perfectly candidly about just about anything (and there have been some interesting topics). She's quite intelligent, yet crude, and can go from verbally sparring with me about politics to making dead baby jokes in a matter of minutes, which IMO makes for a great conversation. Very laid back, and one of the least crazy girls I've ever met.

Don't think I've ever been attracted to a girl's personality this much before. We've discussed it, and the feeling is entirely mutual. She also told me that she didn't want to get involved with me while I'm in a relationship and she doesn't want to be the homewrecker. She said, not without a hint of sadness, that I should choose what's best for me and that she'd wait for me. Horribly bittersweet moment.

So there you have it: my life is basically the plot of every unimaginatively constructed rom-com you've ever seen. Two amazing women that I have a good deal of respect for, and a very hard decision to make. I'm at a horrible crossroads and it sucks. What would you do?

#2

To be a “homewrecker” you have to have a home/family kids etc. You are a self-admitted broke college kid. Date both of them, don’t commit to either. If they don’t like that arrangement they can kick rocks. Unless you plan on marrying one of them.

#3

chuck the rich chick, get with the girl you like. Chemistry trumps all.

You owe me money for that expert advice.

#4

Personality trumps and looks will fade.

Have you forgotten how hard it is to find a woman these days that isn’t batshit? I found one 2 1/2 years ago and haven’t let her go since. Plus if your personalities click it’ll be easier to get her to do the crazy shit in bed that you want her to do. Even if she isn’t a 8-10 you’ll find that if you truly admire/respect/care for this girl she’ll become more physically attractive in your eyes.

Choose #2.

In my experience nearly every guy’s romantic adventures involve years of messing around with #1s (maybe not that rich though) met by some internal epiphany that they want something more and #2 comes along (or has been there the whole time) and the guy realizes that true happiness can only come when you’re with somebody and you can be your own self.

Or maybe that’s just all the stupid romantic comedies I’ve seen over the years, I forget.

#5

Which one swallows?

Which one is going to have a job that makes money?

Which one likes sports?

These are the important things in life, dont go by “feeling” cause right now you are young and would fuck anything that moved.

#6

#2, without question

#7

Are these girls even real?

I mean you didn’t post pics (real or fake) - we’re supposed to take you at your word regrading these alleged rich chicks?

C’mon man you have to pay the troll to get to the boys hole…I mean you have to pay the toll to get the advice … yea that’s what i meant

#8

I’m leaning Rich Chick here.

Save the other chick for your second marriage.

Pretty much seals the deal for me. Because the first one might fade, but the second two are like striking oil in the middle of New Hampshire. .

#9

#2, totally. And out of curiosity, how did the conversation about “waiting” and not “home wrecking” even come about? Have you already broached the subject with #2, or did she?

Edit: However, I might also lean towards you dating both, or staying with rich girl. What are the odds that #2 is a soul mate, even with your friendship/attraction? #2 might even wonder how honest and dedicated of a lover you could really be, given that you admittedly feel like wavering to another while in a committed relationship. Rough choice only you can make, and asking strangers on the internet is less valuable than listening to your own instincts in the end.

#10

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.

#11

It seems to me that you’re the sole source of # 1’s happiness. She sounds like a great girl but not the one you want. And that’s ok. You’re young and have nothing to lose. Go for # 2

#12

As if this thread is really for you to get advice from people on the internet who don’t know you or your life . It’s just you trying to get your weekly ego boost from the internet. You are kinda like Blubber, whose posts are actually only indirect ways of affirming that he is big or that he is rich.

GTFO with this I’m a trophy BF, I am this and that blablabla.

#13

Go with the one that likes anal, not the one who just does it cuz you want to. I made that mistake years ago and regret it every day.

#14

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#15

#16

[quote]Cherrybomb wrote:
#2, totally. And out of curiosity, how did the conversation about “waiting” and not “home wrecking” even come about? Have you already broached the subject with #2, or did she?

Edit: However, I might also lean towards you dating both, or staying with rich girl. What are the odds that #2 is a soul mate, even with your friendship/attraction? #2 might even wonder how honest and dedicated of a lover you could really be, given that you admittedly feel like wavering to another while in a committed relationship. Rough choice only you can make, and asking strangers on the internet is less valuable than listening to your own instincts in the end.[/quote]

Kind of brought it up mutually. She brought up the relationship stuff. I continued it.

Yeah, I think you’re right. I talked it over with some close friends and thought about it a lot, and while it’s still a hard decision, I know what I want. That’d be #2. Might have to go back to living a simpler life, but I can do that. As much as turning down that trip to Bora-Bora hurts, I’d rather take my chances.

Thanks everyone who commented.

#17

[quote]Apoklyps wrote:
She said, not without a hint of sadness, that I should choose what’s best for me and that she’d wait for me. Horribly bittersweet moment.
[/quote]

You’re getting played.

The truth is, personality fades. Those nights you spend staying up until 4 AM talking about shit you have in common (“Oh my god, you love Siddhartha? I love Siddhartha too!”) end and before you know it you’re 80 years old sitting in Denny’s across from your wife of 55 years wondering whatever happened to that little minx who loved ATM.

Like my friend Billy says, it’s just as easy to marry a rich woman as it is to marry a poor one.

#18

[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
Like my friend Billy says, it’s just as easy to marry a rich woman as it is to marry a poor one.
[/quote]

…

There’s a lot more poor ones out there. Just an observation.

#19

Go to 5:02. #2 is a tranny.

#20

[quote]Yogi wrote:
chuck the rich chick, get with the girl you like. Chemistry trumps all.

You owe me money for that expert advice.[/quote]

No it doesn’t. Chemistry fades and then all you are left with is reality.