To get to the point, I think I lost myself in a relationship and I am having a hard time getting myself back.
I was dating this girl for a few years (first really serious relationship - talking about marriage, family,etc..) and we broke up in January. I had completely fallen for her, but the relationship slowly deteriorated over time until she decided we should go on a break. It was also her idea that we should try to remain friends - wether this was control or good intentions, I have no idea.
By way of additional background, my father died in February. I was hospitalized with food poisoning shortly thereafter and I also found out I had a sister I never knew about (half-sister and much older). I am also in my last semester of law school and dealing with that stress too.
In March, I met this amazing woman. Despite interest from others, I was so emotionally numb that I hadn't "gotten the fizz" about anyone except her. She realized early that I wasn't over my previous relationship which lead to a personal epiphany of sorts - I discovered that I had become so obsessed with my ex that I forgot about myself and still let this happen. That was a big turning point and I am forever grateful for that.
This woman and I made amends and began seeing each other but that quickly faded. She is a foreign national and didn't want to get too serious with anyone before leaving. Well, we got serious but then I got clingy and dependent. This turned her off and shut her down. Now, she is not attracted to me in general and I understand that. However, I can't get her out of my head and realize that I was in the process of losing myself in her.
My question is how many of you have gone through something like this, were you forget to respect yourself in a relationship and become other focused? What have you done to address it and how long does it take? I understand my situation may be different because I am dealing with quite a few other things that may slow down my process but honestly, I could use any feedback.