T Nation

Loot for LIFTICVS


#1

So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?


#2
  1. Convince government you need to research waves for a few years as it relates to global warming.

  2. Get multi-million dollar grant.

  3. Purchase yacht, kegs, fishing line, and a fishing bobber.

  4. Party around the world occasionally stopping to measure a wave size with your bobber.


#3

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

  1. Convince government you need to research waves for a few years as it relates to global warming.

  2. Get multi-million dollar grant.

  3. Purchase yacht, kegs, fishing line, and a fishing bobber.

  4. Party around the world occasionally stopping to measure a wave size with your bobber.
    [/quote]

Sweet! I imagine I am going to need some deck hands. I’ll be taking applications over in SAMA forum.

…a three hour tour, a three hour tour…


#4

Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.


#5

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right. [/quote]

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.


#6

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.[/quote]

And a security force to protect you from pirates and British secret service agents.

I wonder how much a platoon of spear gun scuba troops would run.

Oh and Jimmy Buffet or a Jimmy Buffet cover band to play continually.


#7

[quote]PB-Crawl wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.

And a security force to protect you from pirates and British secret service agents.

I wonder how much a platoon of spear gun scuba troops would run.

Oh and Jimmy Buffet or a Jimmy Buffet cover band to play continually.[/quote]

We don’t need quite so much security as that.

Fuck Jimmy Buffet or any Jimmy Buffet cover bands.

Come on, let’s be serious for a second, guys…more ideas, please. My financial…er, I mean the economy! depends on it.

I was thinking I’d like to also get some funding to carryout research on cannabis as a preventative for sea-sickness and to help recover appetite after sea sickness has occurred. I just want to help with the health care crisis anyway I can.


#8

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?[/quote]

Quit your job and quit paying your bills, don’t do shit, the governement will come with a handout to fix you up.


#9

[quote]pat wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?

Quit your job and quit paying your bills, don’t do shit, the governement will come with a handout to fix you up.[/quote]

yeah, not sure I am ready for straight up poverty yet nor do I trust the gubbamint to protect me. I just want to spend other people’s money to save the economy.


#10

I like all of those ideas so far. Perhaps ACORN can help if you agree to take some community activists along on the boat trip.

Sadly I think far more off the wall projects are probably being funded by the government.


#11

Pretend you’re an anarchist, and pay zero taxes. You’ll have more cash on hand, and eventually all of your lodging will be free too.


#12

[quote]borrek wrote:
Pretend you’re an anarchist, and pay zero taxes. You’ll have more cash on hand, and eventually all of your lodging will be free too.[/quote]

Yeah, but not paying my taxes still only leaves me with my income – that’s not enough to fix the economy. Give me your money, too. I am only trying to do what is best for everyone here.