T Nation

Loot for LIFTICVS

So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?

  1. Convince government you need to research waves for a few years as it relates to global warming.

  2. Get multi-million dollar grant.

  3. Purchase yacht, kegs, fishing line, and a fishing bobber.

  4. Party around the world occasionally stopping to measure a wave size with your bobber.

[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:

  1. Convince government you need to research waves for a few years as it relates to global warming.

  2. Get multi-million dollar grant.

  3. Purchase yacht, kegs, fishing line, and a fishing bobber.

  4. Party around the world occasionally stopping to measure a wave size with your bobber.
    [/quote]

Sweet! I imagine I am going to need some deck hands. I’ll be taking applications over in SAMA forum.

…a three hour tour, a three hour tour…

Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.

[quote]MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right. [/quote]

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.[/quote]

And a security force to protect you from pirates and British secret service agents.

I wonder how much a platoon of spear gun scuba troops would run.

Oh and Jimmy Buffet or a Jimmy Buffet cover band to play continually.

[quote]PB-Crawl wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
MaximusB wrote:
Make sure the yacht is truly pimped out. You know, landing pad for helicopter, wave runners, and completely furnished, I mean if you are gonna do it, do it right.

Good point. We cannot have have a scientific vessel without a helo pad or wave runners.

And a security force to protect you from pirates and British secret service agents.

I wonder how much a platoon of spear gun scuba troops would run.

Oh and Jimmy Buffet or a Jimmy Buffet cover band to play continually.[/quote]

We don’t need quite so much security as that.

Fuck Jimmy Buffet or any Jimmy Buffet cover bands.

Come on, let’s be serious for a second, guys…more ideas, please. My financial…er, I mean the economy! depends on it.

I was thinking I’d like to also get some funding to carryout research on cannabis as a preventative for sea-sickness and to help recover appetite after sea sickness has occurred. I just want to help with the health care crisis anyway I can.

[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?[/quote]

Quit your job and quit paying your bills, don’t do shit, the governement will come with a handout to fix you up.

[quote]pat wrote:
LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
So how do I get my hands on some of this free government money?

I just want to help the economy recover faster so I am going to do my patriotic duty and spend your money.

How should I do it?

Quit your job and quit paying your bills, don’t do shit, the governement will come with a handout to fix you up.[/quote]

yeah, not sure I am ready for straight up poverty yet nor do I trust the gubbamint to protect me. I just want to spend other people’s money to save the economy.

I like all of those ideas so far. Perhaps ACORN can help if you agree to take some community activists along on the boat trip.

Sadly I think far more off the wall projects are probably being funded by the government.

Pretend you’re an anarchist, and pay zero taxes. You’ll have more cash on hand, and eventually all of your lodging will be free too.

[quote]borrek wrote:
Pretend you’re an anarchist, and pay zero taxes. You’ll have more cash on hand, and eventually all of your lodging will be free too.[/quote]

Yeah, but not paying my taxes still only leaves me with my income – that’s not enough to fix the economy. Give me your money, too. I am only trying to do what is best for everyone here.