What's up everybody, im looking for some advice..
I am a male in my early 20's. Ive had a rough child hood and i am currently stuck just trying to feel normal.
When I was younger I developed anxiety due to rough living situations, at one point in time i was injuerd in a car wreck and i was given opiates and i quickly realized they made the anxiety go away and i could function in society.
The anxiety i have is rough, hard to sleep, heart racing at night, cant sleep until i get so tired i pretty much fallout. I can go out in public but nervous to do much. As i started feeling better from my meds i started running/lifting, after a while i started to focus more on lifting. But the problem was i never had any drive my sleep did get some better but not anything near perfect. It was a fight to get out of bed every morning.
I have seen a dr about this and i have been on anti depressants for 3-4 months and the antis made me very lazy and then i had completely no drive. Eventually i tried some test e, i did maybe 2-300mg a week for a month and half, felt pretty good twards the end then came off the test because i was afraid of the side effects.
But it did help my anxiety, the opiates werent helping as much as they did the first 6months taking them... Im going to try to wrap this up. At this point im still on opiates its been 3years, so i went to a suboxone program for help. I am now still on suboxone and about three months ago i started a test prop cycle and realized it helps my anxiety tremendously I can sleep at night i dont worry about much i can get stuff done and function like a normal person..
I dont want to be in this situation let me be clear about that.. I am just trying to be normal. I have tried to stop everything and and have but all of the anxiety comes back/ no drive/no sleep/ dont want to do anything. I currently take suboxone and test prop. Test prop every other two days 100mg.
Yes it is stupid i know, I wouldnt do it if i wasnt backed into a corner about having other choices. Just looking for advice or tips on something i could do.