T Nation

Looking for Some Advice. Stuck in My Situation


#1

What's up everybody, im looking for some advice..

I am a male in my early 20's. Ive had a rough child hood and i am currently stuck just trying to feel normal.
When I was younger I developed anxiety due to rough living situations, at one point in time i was injuerd in a car wreck and i was given opiates and i quickly realized they made the anxiety go away and i could function in society.

The anxiety i have is rough, hard to sleep, heart racing at night, cant sleep until i get so tired i pretty much fallout. I can go out in public but nervous to do much. As i started feeling better from my meds i started running/lifting, after a while i started to focus more on lifting. But the problem was i never had any drive my sleep did get some better but not anything near perfect. It was a fight to get out of bed every morning.

I have seen a dr about this and i have been on anti depressants for 3-4 months and the antis made me very lazy and then i had completely no drive. Eventually i tried some test e, i did maybe 2-300mg a week for a month and half, felt pretty good twards the end then came off the test because i was afraid of the side effects.

But it did help my anxiety, the opiates werent helping as much as they did the first 6months taking them... Im going to try to wrap this up. At this point im still on opiates its been 3years, so i went to a suboxone program for help. I am now still on suboxone and about three months ago i started a test prop cycle and realized it helps my anxiety tremendously I can sleep at night i dont worry about much i can get stuff done and function like a normal person..

I dont want to be in this situation let me be clear about that.. I am just trying to be normal. I have tried to stop everything and and have but all of the anxiety comes back/ no drive/no sleep/ dont want to do anything. I currently take suboxone and test prop. Test prop every other two days 100mg.

Yes it is stupid i know, I wouldnt do it if i wasnt backed into a corner about having other choices. Just looking for advice or tips on something i could do.


#2

Hi mate,

I’m sorry to hear your story.

Here is my 2 cents on your situation :

  • Stay away from roids cause for what I heard they kind of maximise your feelings so if you had psychitric problems that could make it worse. In any case someone who is unstable should not take medications without a therapist supervision cause that can end very badly :’(

  • Go see a therapist, imho that will not cure you but it’s a part of the healing process, it will provide help and it’s nice to have a kind of confident where you can speak your mind and he will help you to accept things that you could not otherwise (I stongly believe that our mind construct unconsciously somme barrier to avoid facing things you can’t consciously admit and the role of a therapist is help you to be aware of them and accept them).

  • Take a break from lifting and your other activities if you are really in deep shit and need to get your shit together. Concentrate of your healing and after things will come.

Anyway,really stay away from test and all that stuff, imho that can only make you more unstable. Don’t play with your health and life cause you only got one and when the times is gone it’s gone. Have suffer a huge depression and shit myself for long years and would give everything to get those years back and enjoy them cause they were total garbage.

I truly hope that will not happen to you but for that I beg you, go see professionnals not random dude from the net like me that can only give you a shot on their personnal experience and stay away from drugs, roids or whatever shit you can think of, only take what a professional doctor will prescribe you.

Hope it helps, good luck.


#3

[quote]nameless67 wrote:
At this point im still on opiates its been 3years, so i went to a suboxone program for help. I am now still on suboxone[/quote]
Do you need it for pain management or do you “need” it to get through the day? Take an honest self-assessment and figure out why you’re medicating.

Do you have any injuries/physical issues from the accident?

[quote]and about three months ago i started a test prop cycle and realized it helps my anxiety tremendously I can sleep at night i dont worry about much i can get stuff done and function like a normal person…
Test prop every other two days 100mg.[/quote]
You’re basically on a TRT dose, so if that makes you feel normal, I’m guessing (emphasis on guess) that legit low T levels may have had something to do with your depression and anxiety. It would obviously be best to get your hormones checked by a doctor. Even on the Test, seeing what all your levels are would be useful info, and monitoring your E2 levels will help to prevent any gnarly side effects.

[quote]I have tried to stop everything and and have but all of the anxiety comes back/ no drive/no sleep/ dont want to do anything.
[…]
Just looking for advice or tips on something i could do.[/quote]
Stopping your meds cold turkey can definitely swing you back into a bad situation. If you want to get off them, working with a medical professional, live and in person, is the best bet.

All we meatheads can do here is pretty much give you training and nutrition advice because it sounds like most of your issues are better handled by an actual qualified professional. Fixing your nutrition and training can have some effects on hormones and mood, so it’s worth a shot addressing them, but the bulk of your work does sound like more than can be tackled on an Internet forum.

So, um, what’s your training and diet like right now?

Off-hand, I think you might feel better doing somekind of training almost everyday. Doesn’t have to be intense lifting, just some physical activity for an hour or so 5-7 days a week to get the endorphins flowing, burn off some anxiety, and have something productive to work towards.

Diet-wise, common sense clean-ish eating should be the most obvious. ‘Eat crap… feel like crap. So don’t eat crap’, basically. Not saying you need to eat like a pre-contest bodybuilder with boiled chicken and rice, but watching your sugar, getting enough healthy fats, and plenty of quality protein are all good steps.


#4

I know first hand how crippling anxiety & depression can be. Continue to work with your doctor to find medication that helps you; I had to try more than a few before settling on something that works. Consider also doing talk therapy with a psychologist. It helps. You need to speak with professionals.

I sincerely recommend you stay away from any hormone manipulation unless it’s under the supervision of a doctor. Do you even know if you have low test? I really think this was a stupid move.


#5

I do want to add that I have considered Test as medication for my own issues; a psychiatrist I was seeing originally brought it up to me. I did have my levels checked, and it was infact on the very low end of the normal range. However, I was also hypothyroid. And pretty fat. Both of those will cause Test to be low (and being hypothyroid can cause depression/low energy itself!). I’m getting those things sorted first.

Please see a doctor; both a psychiatrist and psychologist if you can. It does help.