Hi, this is a question that I’m sure (hope) some of you can help me out with…
Not to sure where to start… So I’ll keep it as short and sweet as possible.
I’m a Uni student (24) and I’m living with my girlfriend and some other lads. One of the lads is very strange and has taken a disliking to my girlfriend.
We think he opened her mail once.
He’s came into the living room once screaming and swinging a machete about.
He bought a hammer and stood behind me once without me knowing and stood with it raised above his head as if to strike me with it.
He very sly and lies a lot.
He oversteps boundaries in a very small way making it hard to confront him.
He intimidates my girlfriend in ways I can’t call him out on and always when I am not there. (if I did confront and get in an fight/argument I would be in the wrong in everybody’s eyes - including the laws and I would likely just make the situation worse)
I don’t know what to do. I’m not scared of him but I’m scared of what he might do when I’m not there. (A requirement of my course means there’s a big chance I might be away for 6 weeks in 2 periods of the academic year - luckily this hasn’t happened and I can stay where I am)
My girlfriend is becoming increasingly unhappy and I’m increasingly losing patience.
We are living with different people next year which can’t come quick enough, but what do I do in the meantime? I’m hoping I keep my temper and/or the tension doesn’t break and we can leave the house peacefully.
I just don’t know how to deal with as strange and unpredictable as this. I’m fine with openly aggressive people but this insidious creeping feeling of having to watch my back and most importantly my girlfriends is very hard to deal with., especially in an environment I can’t take us out of at the moment
Sorry for the length but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Not sure that this is helpful, but it is obvious to me that the reason he’s being a little bitch is he wants to bang your girlfriend and is jealous of you.
You can either prod him into action so you can kill or beat him legally/morally or leave as soon as possible, while minimizing contact until you leave.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Not sure that this is helpful, but it is obvious to me that the reason he’s being a little bitch is he wants to bang your girlfriend and is jealous of you.
You can either prod him into action so you can kill or beat him legally/morally or leave as soon as possible, while minimizing contact until you leave.
No way to salvage this.[/quote]
I gathered so and yea, I have been minimizing contact with him and I hope that’s as far as it has to go, I just wish I could take me and the misses and leave right now.
He intimidates my girlfriend in ways I can’t call him out on and always when I am not there. (if I did confront and get in an fight/argument I would be in the wrong in everybody’s eyes - including the laws and I would likely just make the situation worse)
[/quote]
I gave basically the same advice in that other thread. You have to weigh the costs/benefits of moving out. Calculate the total cost of moving out (moving expenses, unpaid rent/lease breaking fees if applicable, new deposit, etc.). Then decide if getting out of the undesirable living situation is worth X dollars to you. If it is, and you don’t have X dollars, you procure X dollars through a loan from a friend, a financial institution, or G4P.
If the situation is not bad enough for you to shell out the cash, then it’s not such a big problem, is it?
There are 2 of you (you and GF) and one of him. If he’s doing goofy shit and intimidating her on the sly, how are you in the wrong for confronting him based on your own and her observations?
I’d have already beaten him into a coma for the machete thing but thats just me.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
There are 2 of you (you and GF) and one of him. If he’s doing goofy shit and intimidating her on the sly, how are you in the wrong for confronting him based on your own and her observations?
I’d have already beaten him into a coma for the machete thing but thats just me.
[/quote]
Yeah. Combination of that and standing behind me with a raised hammer? Fuck you pal, you’re either moving out or going to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair, because that is effectively a threat with a deadly weapon and I don’t like being threatened.
How many other lads are there? Are they cool with the guy? Have you asked him what his deal is?
The machete and holding a hammer over your head would be enough for me to get the hell out of that situation. I’ve had situations like this before and it really makes life suck when the place youre living in miserable.
I’d have already beaten him into a coma for the machete thing but thats just me.
[/quote]
Exactly. x10.
WTF are you doing staying???
If you’re really must stay, personally I would get a handgun for her and yourself and keep them holstered at your sides at all times in the property.
(Also taking your girl to the range can be surprisingly fun)
This guy might be a douche but he’s not stupid. That will send the clearest and most immediate message that you can make.
I’d have already beaten him into a coma for the machete thing but thats just me.
[/quote]
Exactly. x10.
WTF are you doing staying???
If you’re really must stay, personally I would get a handgun for her and yourself and keep them holstered at your sides at all times in the property.
(Also taking your girl to the range can be surprisingly fun)
This guy might be a douche but he’s not stupid. That will send the clearest and most immediate message that you can make.[/quote]
Great idea. Violence escalation always works.
I don’t think the OP is in the US anyway, so I doubt this is a legitimate option.
[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:
Not sure that this is helpful, but it is obvious to me that the reason he’s being a little bitch is he wants to bang your girlfriend and is jealous of you.
You can either prod him into action so you can kill or beat him legally/morally or leave as soon as possible, while minimizing contact until you leave.
No way to salvage this.[/quote]
Why his girlfriend? Maybe he is in love with him. Maybe PG led him on. Sounds to me like this PG guy is a reeaal jerk.
