I know I am being a little bitch and I need to man the fuck up, but here it goes. I play soccer, I am a goalkeeper. I am probably one the best goalkeepers I my age in the whole country. Not because I am that great in my technique, simply because I can jump a lot and have really fast reflexes. The problem is that I am not sure if I am ready to go through all the crap this stupid sprot requires. For instance, I don't play in the team I am currently in, just because I am young. WTF? I am by far the best of all the 4 of us, by a huge difference. I have been told that by half of my teammates and it is visible in every motherfucking practise.
All of that aside, our practises suck big hairy balls. No specific drills for us the goalkeepers whatsoever. My technique is my weak point, it is what is holding me back. I need to work on it, but I need a coach with me. Or even just another human to throw the ball at me correctly. But when I am at our stupid practises, I don't have time for this. And the other 3 guys are bored as fuck. Jeez, they are almost 10 years older than me, they can't play professionally. What the fucking flying fuck should I do?
Currently unfortunately, I can't afford to pay a goalkeeping coach to train me. Hopefully by next month I will have a job as a PT and will be able to do that. And on top of that, my mother is being toxic. You wont play soccer if you act like that and all that crap. THey judge me for my passion with weights, because I am the heaviest at team by 20 pounds, but they forget that outsprint and outjump them all by a mile. What the fuck should I do? When I workout alone, I feel like I am doing something. When I am with the team, I feel like stupid, cause I know that nothing I am doing there is getting me anywhere near what I want, my carreer. /endranting and bitching