Like a Caterpillar Becomes a Butterfly... Oh Plus the Chrysalis Stage

I forgot why I came to this site in the first place and started farting around about politics, the economy and a bunch of other shit that I have no impact at all on, strangely I also stopped keeping a log and started skipping workouts to the tune of weeks at a time. I recently realized that arguing politics on a website that I joined in an effort to be accountable for my weight training was absolutely ridiculous. So…

About me:

I am 44 years old, I am 18 hands tall and I weigh about 23 stone, I like these measurements because they seem very proportionate, unlike that fucked up 'Standard English" system that makes me look fat.

I will list my current best lifts, but first this little caveat, I am old and truly busted up. I have a fused left ankle (which makes squatting and deadlifting a chore and a half), I have had 5 or 6 knee surgeries (depending on the level of invasive-ness necessary for it to qualify as a surgery) and I have 5 herniated discs (which also makes squatting and dead lifting hard) oh and I had a discectomy in 2006 on the L2-L3 disc.

Now before you tell me about your one legged pirate cousin that squats 725 and pulls 800, let me tell you I do not care (and by that I mean I am embarrassed if it is true), also he should get himself a blog, because that is pretty cool. All told I have had 14 (or 13) separate surgeries (plus a couple of clean-ups of previous disasters) in my adult life and they all sucked. I should actually count each one twice since most were performed by third world assassins at the various VA Hospitals I have had the sheer dumb luck to frequent.

Alright, enough stalling, remember these are my sad old man lifts, I hope they will improve over the next few years. I haven’t done a 1 RM in awhile so these are what I have available to work with.

Bench (Paused)- 425x3

Squat- 455x3

Deadlift- 515 x3

Triples = Cardio.

I will be using the “science” of auto-regulation so %'s may vary wildly from day to day, what will remain constant is the idea of using big compound lifts with some slight variations (grip width, use of bands/chains etc) in an effort to blast my body into a new stratosphere of growth and strength gains, or to the very doorstep of euthanasia.

Sorry for the long winded first post, but I figure starting new= a new start.

Here are my first two workouts:

Day One

Paused Bench- Warm-Ups- 335x3,355x3, 365x2, 385x2, 395x2
Deadlifts- Warm-Ups- 315x3, 365x3, 405x3, 425x2, 445x2
BBell Rows- No Warm-Ups- 225x5x5x5x5x5
Overhead Press- No Warm-Ups- 135x5, 185x3, 205x3x3
Hammer DBell Curls- 70’s x5x5x5

Day Two

Paused Bench-Warm-Ups- 335x2, 355x2, 365x2, 375x2, 385x2
Deadlifts w/Fat Gripz- 225x3, 275x3, 315x2x2x2 (yes this is sort of cheating)
BBell Rows- 225x3, 245x3, 255x3, 265x3x3
OHP Behind the Neck- 135x5, 185x5, 205x3x3
Hammerd Dbell Curls- 75’s x5x5x5

My goal is strength (and health), I would like to compete in another meet in March/April so I am hoping that this new accountability will get me back on track.

Thanks for reading.

I’m glad you are logging again and I’ll be following along.

Nice to see you back Brian. I’ve always enjoyed reading your log. I find your self-deprecating humour very funny.

And despite being so beat up you are still damn strong.

Do you think the recent elections led you to this newfound interest in exercise? I find I’m unable to spend much time thinking about politics and the economy as I start to get paralyzed. Do you share this feeling? Wait…never mind.

[quote]FarmerBrett wrote:
I’ve always enjoyed reading your log. I find your self-deprecating humour very funny.

Yep. Both you two are always an entertaining read.

JJack, Farmer, Sen and Snap,

Thank you.

Thank you, it’s not self-deprecating if it’s 100% true is it?

Thank you, I see what you did there, very subtle.

Thank you, I am striving for non-controversial entertainment.


I focused on GPP and upping my work capacity, I also…gasp!!..stretched and used a lacrosse ball on a bunch of my “hard to reach” spots, for something like 15 minutes I looked like I was trying to shove my head up my own ass, stretching is actually work.

I did all my lifts in 25 minutes total, that explains the light weights.

ATG-ish Squats- 160x5, 185x5, 210x5, 235x5, 260x5

Good Mornings- 135x5, 185x5, 225x5x5

Deadlifts- 165x5, 190x5, 225x5, 265x5, 300x5

Rows-225x15 x12

It may not seem like a lot but I was sweating like a pig (granted that is not hard for me) and out of breath, so maybe it is a sign of hard work (more likely just terrible conditioning)

I found my meet- 100% Raw on March 23rd, I have about 15 weeks , so barring anything unforeseen I have plenty of time to properly prepare.

Hey Brett,

how much does Brian weigh and how tall?

Welcome back to the beat to shit crowd.

[quote]FISCHER613 wrote:
Hey Brett,

how much does Brian weigh and how tall?

Well in English money Brian weighs almost three hundredweight and is exactly 4 cubits high.

Hope this helps.


Your measurements make me seem superfat, I may choose a different option.


More Volume/GPP/Strength base stuff.

Bench- 165x5, 190x5, 215x5, 235x5, 250x20 (felt a lot harder than it looked)

OHP Behind the Neck- 45x8, 75x8, 95x8, 115x8, 135x8, 185x8

Rotator Cuffs- 4 sets w/bands

Cable Rows- weight x8x8x8x8x8

Dips- 25, 20, 15, 10, 5 (Planned regression)

Out of the gym lickety split, this is all part of my 5 week prep before the 9 week training cycle for my meet, this is crazy (for me) volume, it will make the low volume high weight stuff very appealing in a few weeks.

Well Friday sucked, I had a volume goal that included my very first “widowmaker” squat session (part of my annual “Pearl Harbor” training, where I pick some bullshit idea to test myself), I failed on an epic level, actually throwing up on my last set around rep 16, it was weird, the weight didn’t seem really heavy and I’m not sick, apparently my “quitter gene” is firing on all cylinders.


Squats- 135x5, 185x5, 225x5, 225x5, 275x5, 315x5, 315x15 or 16 plus a shoe full of vomit.

Deads- skipped due to smelly shoes

Cardio- went to shoe store in flip flops, bought new vomit free shoes.


If I understand correctly, multiple surgeries = very strong. So, I obviously need some surgeries.

[quote]BrianHanson wrote:
I failed on an epic level, actually throwing up on my last set around rep 16[/quote]

Is it weird that I’m impressed by this?

I’ve never once thrown up while lifting.

And don’t throw the shoes. Keep them and wear them with pride. You earned every bit of diced carrot.

Vomiting mid set? That’s bad ass. Gross, but bad ass.


[quote]atypical1 wrote:
Vomiting mid set? That’s bad ass. Gross, but bad ass.


I used to vomit mid-beer when I was younger…it was actually my 15th or 16th beer, but it was still mid-beer…course I’d get right back in there…

Contest Training Prep 14 weeks Out

Aside from throwing up on myself, I actually enjoy lifting weights especially when I have a goal, so I am 14 weeks from my contest and after my intro week I am now hitting the 2nd phase, it’s 4 weeks of moderate volume and weight. The split is pretty simple Mon/Thu- Chest&Upper Body Tue/Fri Legs&Lower Body. The tricky part is the weekly weight increases (and biweekly rep decreases), I add 5lbs per week to my shoulder work, 10lbs to bench and rows, and 20lbs for squats and deads, on paper it looks like week 13 will probably kill me.

Day 1 Week 1 Phase 2

Bench- 135x8, 225x5, 275x3, 315x8 x8

OHP Behind the Neck- 45x8, 75x8, 95x8, 115x8, 135x8

BBell Rows- 225x6 x6

Abs- roller x15 x15 (ouch)

On the plus side today was super easy and I did not throw up on myself, on the downside my ability to see what this will become is making me nervous.

nice work pukey

Good for you on another meet. I’m going to try for one in mid-March. We’ll see.

And save the vomiting for the platform. That makes you look really bad ass.

This is such an entertaining read, I am now late for work.


my #1 goal is to impact the economy.


I hope to never vomit again, I now have a Pavlovian fear of volume training.


That is not the worst nickname I’ve had.

Sooo, yesterday was legs again, I would’ve posted sooner but I switched my internet/phone/TV provider and there were some small glitches, everything is okay now though so here goes.

Tuesday 12/11/12

Squat- 135x8, 225x5, 275x5, 315x8 x8

Good Mornings- 225x8, 275x5, 300x5

RDL w/fat gripz for forearm swoleness- 225x10 x8 x6 x4

Abs- Standing Cable crunches (aka looking like a tool)- x20 x20 x17

That was it, nothing awesome nor awful happened, I am off on Wednesday (today) so I like to pack in fun chores like a blood test, returning the cable boxes and modem (stood in line for 45 minutes), grocery shopping, Christmas shopping, staring at things while holding my wallet, calling the VA and being on hold for 20 minutes then getting hung up on, vacuuming, napping, trying to figure out the new channels on the TV, talking to strangers etc. I live a very full life.