Lifetime of Alimony Victim

Jail Becomes Home for Husband Stuck With Lifetime Alimony

Ari Schochet has grown so accustomed to being sent to jail for missing alimony payments that he goes into a routine.

Before his family-court hearing, Schochet, 41, sticks on a nicotine patch to cope with jailhouse smoking bans, sends an â??Ari Off the Gridâ?? e-mail to friends and family, and scrawls key phone numbers in permanent ink on his forearm.
Enlarge image Former Citadel Investment Employee Ari Schochet

Former Citadel Investment employee Ari Schochet stands in a parking lot across from the Bergen County jail in Hackensack, New Jersey on April 15, 2013. Photographer: Sophia Pearson/Bloomberg
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Schochet, who said he worked as a portfolio manager at Citadel Investment Group Inc. and Fortress Investment Group LLC (FIG) and once earned $1 million a year, has been jailed for missing court-ordered payments at least eight times in the past two years as he coped with the end of his 17-year marriage.

The reason he ran afoul of the law was simple. He was out of work for most of that time, a victim of a weak economy, and he ran through his savings trying to pay his wife alimony and child support that totaled almost $100,000 a year.

â??Itâ??s a circle of hell thereâ??s just no way out of,â?? Schochet said. â??I paid it as long as I could.â??

Schochet and ex-spouses in similar changed circumstances say New Jerseyâ??s law unfairly imposes lifetime alimony on them. If they fail to make payments, like the $78,000 a year Schochet owes his ex-wife in alimony, they can be jailed for contempt of court regardless of whether they have a job or resources.
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Relief may be on the way. In states such as New Jersey, Connecticut and Florida where divorce laws are based on century-old notions of what an ex-spouse deserves, laws are being proposed to limit alimony in recognition of wivesâ?? earning power and the changed economic circumstances husbands can face.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2007 recommended restricting alimony amounts and duration. The proposal became the basis for Massachusettsâ??s alimony reform laws in 2011. Those statutes eliminated permanent alimony and gave judges guidelines for calculating amounts.

Three states have enacted laws abolishing permanent alimony with caveats allowing discretion in exceptional cases, according to Laura W. Morgan, an attorney and owner of Family Law Consulting in Charlottesville, Virginia. Lawmakers in at least 10 other states, including New Jersey, are being prompted by advocates to consider more restrictive legislation, said Morgan, who is writing an alimony handbook to be published by the American Bar Association.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-08-26/jail-becomes-home-for-husband-stuck-with-lifetime-alimony.html

Disgusting

Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…[/quote]

I wonder if couples will become even more inclined to abort special needs children down the road.

Edit: a lot of these exorbitant child support and alimony rulings are a product of a special needs child + stay at home mom

WTF?

The fact that this can happen at all should scare the shit out of every man here.

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2007 recommended restricting alimony amounts and duration. The proposal became the basis for Massachusettsâ??s alimony reform laws in 2011. Those statutes eliminated permanent alimony and gave judges guidelines for calculating amounts.

Three states have enacted laws abolishing permanent alimony with caveats allowing discretion in exceptional cases, according to Laura W. Morgan, an attorney and owner of Family Law Consulting in Charlottesville, Virginia. Lawmakers in at least 10 other states, including New Jersey, are being prompted by advocates to consider more restrictive legislation, said Morgan, who is writing an alimony handbook to be published by the American Bar Association.

The laws are being changed.

X we live in Texas it is almost impossible to get alimony

[quote]therajraj wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…[/quote]

I wonder if couples will become even more inclined to abort special needs children down the road.
[/quote]

Hopefully not because it’s fucking appalling.

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
That sucks, he should have spent the money on a better lawyer.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
WTF?

The fact that this can happen at all should scare the shit out of every WHITE man here.[/quote]

FIXED

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

X we live in Texas it is almost impossible to get alimony[/quote]

I agree, but you can still get spousal support if you have been married for 10 years or more.

My sister is going through a divorce right now because her husband is crazy. He has been diagnosed bi-polar, but he says the 3 doctors are wrong and will not take his meds. She has been a stay at home mom doing everything except go to work, that includes doing all the finances.

I am a little sympathetic to single working moms, but this situation to pay alimony forever is ridiculous.

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
Honest to God I would have just liquidated everything I could and fled the country.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
Honest to God I would have just liquidated everything I could and fled the country.[/quote]

I read about a guy who fled to Thailand shortly after.

He only got caught when he came back to the US for a wedding.

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

X we live in Texas it is almost impossible to get alimony[/quote]

I agree, but you can still get spousal support if you have been married for 10 years or more.

My sister is going through a divorce right now because her husband is crazy. He has been diagnosed bi-polar, but he says the 3 doctors are wrong and will not take his meds. She has been a stay at home mom doing everything except go to work, that includes doing all the finances.

I am a little sympathetic to single working moms, but this situation to pay alimony forever is ridiculous.
[/quote]
Of course, good lawyers will get the important information to the judge, you just dont roll over, you fight it up front.

The typical divorce where the guy bolts to fuck his secretary situation he wants a clean break to go fuck secretary. Then when that ends he realizes he is being ass raped by X-Wife. I was a divorced dad and left because my X was having affairs. But I made damn sure things were fair and balanced.

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
WTF?

The fact that this can happen at all should scare the shit out of every WHITE man here.[/quote]

FIXED[/quote]

I dunno, the guy in the article looks pretty Jewish to me.

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
That sucks, he should have spent the money on a better lawyer. [/quote]

Not sure that would have helped PLUS by the time he needed a really good lawyer he was no longer making $250K but about a 1/3 of that AND paying $10K a month in child support. The only way he could have afforded a good attorney was to NOT PAY the child support for a few months. See his dilemma here?

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

X we live in Texas it is almost impossible to get alimony[/quote]

I agree, but you can still get spousal support if you have been married for 10 years or more.

My sister is going through a divorce right now because her husband is crazy. He has been diagnosed bi-polar, but he says the 3 doctors are wrong and will not take his meds. She has been a stay at home mom doing everything except go to work, that includes doing all the finances.

I am a little sympathetic to single working moms, but this situation to pay alimony forever is ridiculous.
[/quote]
Of course, good lawyers will get the important information to the judge, you just dont roll over, you fight it up front.

The typical divorce where the guy bolts to fuck his secretary situation he wants a clean break to go fuck secretary. Then when that ends he realizes he is being ass raped by X-Wife. I was a divorced dad and left because my X was having affairs. But I made damn sure things were fair and balanced. [/quote]

It is a two way street, but it needs to be fair. I agree with you on the fight up front.

Divorce is a bad thing for everyone in the situation, but in your situation it is what needed to happen.

My parents are divorced, and I was in the 4th grade when it happened. I still have issues, but just keep moving on. I fight every day to make sure my family stays together. I am lucky I have such a great wife.

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
That sucks, he should have spent the money on a better lawyer. [/quote]

Not sure that would have helped PLUS by the time he needed a really good lawyer he was no longer making $250K but about a 1/3 of that AND paying $10K a month in child support. The only way he could have afforded a good attorney was to NOT PAY the child support for a few months. See his dilemma here?[/quote]

Plus “laws are changing” and “laws have changed” are phrases that are worlds apart

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
That sucks, he should have spent the money on a better lawyer. [/quote]

Not sure that would have helped PLUS by the time he needed a really good lawyer he was no longer making $250K but about a 1/3 of that AND paying $10K a month in child support. The only way he could have afforded a good attorney was to NOT PAY the child support for a few months. See his dilemma here?[/quote]
? dude you get a lawyer BEFORE you get a divorce decree. They dont just set the amount randomly without you being involved.

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]IamMarqaos wrote:
Friend of mine is in the same position. She divorced him when he was making $250K a year. They have a special needs child and she stays home to take care of her…even though the child is high functioning and an adult!
Judge ordered him to pay her $10K a month.

After the economy tanked his salary went down to $88K.

Took 4 years of legal struggles, losing his house, car, savings and health before the judge reduced it to $4k a month.
He essentially rents a room from a friend to survive.

And his ex moved in a boyfriend in the house he once owned. They vacation twice a year from his money…
He barely sees his daughter because he lives far away and to save money he travels by bus or gets a ride.

Murder/suicide waiting to happen.[/quote]
Honest to God I would have just liquidated everything I could and fled the country.[/quote]

Takes too long to do. Try selling a million dollar home on the fly…
He did sell his car and his stocks/bonds but it all went to alimony and child support.

Thing is, alimony should have never been that high. His kid needed about a $1000 a month and his ex would have been good with an extra $3000 as he was paying for the mortgage because he wanted his kid to live in a good place.

Judge ordered 10K based on current earnings but unfortunately he wasn’t smart enough to add a provision to the settlement that would adjust that amount in case of loss of earnings.

Because he didn’t he was stuck with the settlement…

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

X we live in Texas it is almost impossible to get alimony[/quote]

I agree, but you can still get spousal support if you have been married for 10 years or more.

My sister is going through a divorce right now because her husband is crazy. He has been diagnosed bi-polar, but he says the 3 doctors are wrong and will not take his meds. She has been a stay at home mom doing everything except go to work, that includes doing all the finances.

I am a little sympathetic to single working moms, but this situation to pay alimony forever is ridiculous.
[/quote]
Of course, good lawyers will get the important information to the judge, you just dont roll over, you fight it up front.

The typical divorce where the guy bolts to fuck his secretary situation he wants a clean break to go fuck secretary. Then when that ends he realizes he is being ass raped by X-Wife. I was a divorced dad and left because my X was having affairs. But I made damn sure things were fair and balanced. [/quote]

It is a two way street, but it needs to be fair. I agree with you on the fight up front.

Divorce is a bad thing for everyone in the situation, but in your situation it is what needed to happen.

My parents are divorced, and I was in the 4th grade when it happened. I still have issues, but just keep moving on. I fight every day to make sure my family stays together. I am lucky I have such a great wife.
[/quote]
Sucks man, my parents are still together. I only know what its like as a divorced father, I just know that my X has really done a disservice to my children. But that is a whole other thread.