[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
everyone knows that your own shit doesn’t smell… other people’s shit on the other hand… sometimes when i walk into the bathroom after my gf im amazed at the damage a 105lb gurl can do…
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
Since this is T Nation I’m going to let you in on a little guy secret.
Men will make changing diapers seem like something scary so that they won’t have to do it and then women will do it happily because they see the men cower at it and know they can laugh and tell their friends about how scared their man is of baby poop.
In the end we’re both happy.
But still, baby poop is terrible…that thick greenness and awful stench.
[quote]kothreat wrote:
After an Indian buffet. It protruded from the water and filled the rest of the bowl underwater. Plus the ring of fire.
It was at least 6 Couric’s.[/quote]
6 Couric’a hahahaha…
Some of the best thinking goes on in a man’s head when he’s pinching a loaf. Maybe Newton was sitting on the throne and NOT under an apple tree when he came up with his idea’s.
I clean shitters for a living now so taking a dump has lost some of it’s luster i’m afraid.
PSA…baby wipes aren’t just for kids.
Baby shit should have been dropped over Afghanistan, they would all come out with their hands up. I have had my eyes water and the hair on my feet singed off from the odor of baby shit.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
Baby shit should have been dropped over Afghanistan, they would all come out with their hands up. I have had my eyes water and the hair on my feet singed off from the odor of baby shit. [/quote]
Agreed. Fill the drones!
My wife and I took turns changing poopy diapers when our son was young. I was hungover one day and offered her twenty bucks to take my turn lol. It was worth it.
This is a wonderful thread!
One time I had some game type meat, I think it was Elk actually, and it didn’t sit too well with me. I was at work (i am a cashier at a gym) and all of a sudden I felt like I was going to literally shit my pants. So I ran to the bathroom. I left the customer I was helping high and dry and just bolted for the can. Sat there for a good ten minutes and it was like I was pissing shit.
Truly awful.
I changed my kid’s diapers tons of times. No big deal.
I’d rather change a kid’s diaper instead of an adult’s diaper (especially an elderly adult).
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
Really? I thought you understood all things male? In fact, isn’t your dude black? Hell, you understand the blackness too!
Look, guys have made a joke out of everything that comes out of us. Burps are fucking hilarious. Farts can make you get a hernia from laughing. Orgasm? Hell, God himself knows it wouldn’t be near as much fun if we didn’t get to shoot a super soaker most of the time at the end of it.
That’s life. I love being a guy. I think I would REALLY hate douching.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
Really? I thought you understood all things male? In fact, isn’t your dude black? Hell, you understand the blackness too!
Look, guys have made a joke out of everything that comes out of us. Burps are fucking hilarious. Farts can make you get a hernia from laughing. Orgasm? Hell, God himself knows it wouldn’t be near as much fun if we didn’t get to shoot a super soaker most of the time at the end of it.
That’s life. I love being a guy. I think I would REALLY hate douching.[/quote]
True. But tell me what it’s like actually BEING the douche?
Badabump!
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
Really? I thought you understood all things male? In fact, isn’t your dude black? Hell, you understand the blackness too!
Look, guys have made a joke out of everything that comes out of us. Burps are fucking hilarious. Farts can make you get a hernia from laughing. Orgasm? Hell, God himself knows it wouldn’t be near as much fun if we didn’t get to shoot a super soaker most of the time at the end of it.
That’s life. I love being a guy. I think I would REALLY hate douching.[/quote]
True. But tell me what it’s like actually BEING the douche?
Badabump!
[/quote]
First, you can’t give yourself a rimshot.
Second, that’s asshole to you, sir.
I have NEVER been a douche.
I don’t think douches can be black anyway. B.I.G.D.I.C.K. has a no douche clause.
I took a shit one time that somehow managed to be the exact length so that it was still in contact with my asshole when I was done, and thick enough that it didn’t have a significant bend or break in the middle. That one tickled my gooch as it tipped over, and thinking about it now, I have no idea how it managed to miss my balls. Wish I could remember what I’d eaten to cause that . . .
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I changed my kid’s diapers tons of times. No big deal.
I’d rather change a kid’s diaper instead of an adult’s diaper (especially an elderly adult).[/quote]
Adult diapers are the worst is right. Just ask the nurse I saw lastnight at work who was changing them on a regular basis with the same patient. Actually what was worse was the womens(patient) stinky feet, stunk up the whole pod lol…fuck I hate feet.
A man needs a good meal, a good sleep and a good shit…everything else is just gravy.
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
I changed my kid’s diapers tons of times. No big deal.
I’d rather change a kid’s diaper instead of an adult’s diaper (especially an elderly adult).[/quote]
Adult diapers are the worst is right. Just ask the nurse I saw lastnight at work who was changing them on a regular basis with the same patient. Actually what was worse was the womens(patient) stinky feet, stunk up the whole pod lol…fuck I hate feet.
A man needs a good meal, a good sleep and a good shit…everything else is just gravy.
[/quote]
That reminds me of a joke:
What does 80 year old pussy taste like?
Depends.
You know it’s a winner when you get that crackling sound.
[quote]MaximusB wrote:
You know it’s a winner when you get that crackling sound. [/quote]
The what???
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
Yeah, but did you ever dump a 2-tone turd?
[/quote]
Ye i have… travelled to china on business, a lot fo fast foods and noodles and several hundred oreos. Light brown followed by black… was a good time line to be honest!
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
PSA…baby wipes aren’t just for kids.
[/quote]
my dad uses these… he says they are a game changer…
[quote]Professor X wrote:
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
I don’t understand men’s obsession with poop. If you guys are so proud of poop, how come you run like hell when it’s time to change the baby’s diaper?[/quote]
Really? I thought you understood all things male? In fact, isn’t your dude black? Hell, you understand the blackness too!
Look, guys have made a joke out of everything that comes out of us. Burps are fucking hilarious. Farts can make you get a hernia from laughing. Orgasm? Hell, God himself knows it wouldn’t be near as much fun if we didn’t get to shoot a super soaker most of the time at the end of it.
That’s life. I love being a guy. I think I would REALLY hate douching.[/quote]
Yo Daddy may have changed one or two diapers from all 3 kids, but only if absolutely necessary. But when it comes to farts and poop, men of all colors are the same.
I once ate an entire meatloaf, the resulting load wasn’t really log shaped, it was more like a cow pile. Except it would’ve been big even by cow standards. Filled up the whole bottom of the bowl and crowned over the top of the water. I named it Hawaii. Took several flushes to be reclaimed by the sea.
[quote]Vinnie85 wrote:
[quote]bond james bond wrote:
PSA…baby wipes aren’t just for kids.
[/quote]
my dad uses these… he says they are a game changer… [/quote]
Your dad is a wise man.
In fact, if you are over 220lbs and gaining and NOT using sanitary wipes…you are just bullshittin’.
My ass is as clean as a field of daisies. I have no skid marks in my boxers and I am ready at all times for BJ’s.
At ALL times.