T Nation

LIFE AS A TREE IN 2006!

I thought I’d share this with you all, received it via e-mail just the other day:

LIFE AS A TREE IN 2006!
By Paul Chek

Rush hour traffic
Honking horns
The penitentiaries are full
We?re experiencing massive storms?

The scientists say were in deep trouble if the ice recedes any more!

There have been reports of dolphins, whales, sea lions, birds and more?
Showing up dead on the seashore

When you turn on the TV,
It?s WAR! WAR! WAR!

There are dozens of sports stations
Busy keeping score
people sit and watch the tube,
fat and tired, stretched out on the couch,
legs dangling on the floor

There?s even talk of water shortages bringing on a 3rd world war!
Israelis ~ Palestinians ? trying to even the score!
Can you imagine being a tree
In the middle of a war?

Would the tree just be there
Sucking up the sunshine?
As a child gets shot in the head?
Would the tree feel sad
When the ground runs red?
Do you think the tree would cry
Have a broken heart?

I asked the tree
What does this mean to you?
After a pause, the tree said:
It?s sad to see humans,
Not use their head!

The tree said, ?Paul, do you realize that if but a few more of us stop breathing?
YOUR DEAD!?

He said, ?We know that?and we don?t even have heads!?

Continuing, the tree stated,
NOW!
The life of a tree,
It?s a real art,
We keep the sun, and mother earth
From getting too far apart?
We?ve got social interaction down to an art
While you humans eradicate each other,
We just hope for a new start?
We?re hanging on tight for fear that you?ll keep tearing the soil apart?

Look at the way you farm?chimed Mother Earth?
You?ve ruined my stomach
Damaged my lungs with poison air
My immune system is overloaded?everywhere!
Soon you?ll have no trees,
And you?ll be facing an oceanic affair,
Disabled ocean currents,
And tornados, monsoons, floods, wind storms,?severe dehydration EVERYWHERE!

?Oh, Dear Mother Earth?, said the tree,?
?I?m so grateful for the way you look after me!?
?As I watch you suffer, and work so hard,
I do my best to shade my little piece of yard?
I do my best
To send energy
To all who should pass by me?

?Thank you Mother Earth,
for holding my feet
Thank you Father Sun,
For allowing me to eat?

?Thank you Sister Moon,
For putting me to sleep
Each night I pray,
For the humans,
For they seem to have the intelligence of sheep!?

?I look up at the stars?
and sometimes, together we cry,
because Mother Earth?s lost that twinkle in her eye?

?If someone said I could be human if they reincarnated me
I?d quickly say ?NO THANKS!?
?I MUCH PREFER LIFE AS A TREE!?

??If I do come back,
please put me on a planet where people are very unlikely to be;
I?m completely happy with the ?rest of nature? surrounding me?

After hearing all this anguish, this pain, I asked,
?Well my dear tree,
What shall we humans do??

?HOLD STILL!
SLOW DOWN!
Start eating real food so you can think!
Stop using your mouth,
As a kitchen sink!?

?Throw away your religious dogma
Learn to use your heart!
Get to grips with the fact that we [all of us!] are ONE!
We are never apart!
Realize that what you do to yourself, YOU DO TO ME!

YET, HAVE I EVER DONE ANYTHING TO YOU?

PLEASE ACT NOW,
COME BACK TO REALITY!
You don?t need more cars,
You are dying of vanity!
Slow down?a lot?
Come sit next to me!?

?Let me tell you what as worked,
right from the start,
Let me teach you ?BEING?, as a worldwide art!
Bring your children,
And your adolescents too?
Let?s get started NOW, we?ve got a LOT of work to do!

What the fuck?

That was so good for me too, I could almost hear the water lapping against the sides of the…

…toilet.

See what wonderful things can happen when you keep pen and paper by the commode.

and your point is?

[quote]electric_eales wrote:
and your point is?[/quote]
It’s obvious, he’s trying to get us to come back to reality, he yelled it right in the poem.

go read about the ginkos in nagasaki that survived a nuclear blast

there’s a tree near the place I once lived and she’s 400 years old

how fragile human life is

so I pretty much doubt they give a fuck

life always finds a way

Pearls before swine Chek.

[quote]Magister Ludi wrote:
Pearls before swine Chek.[/quote]

You actually think that spew is pearls of wisdom?!??!? You don’t know shit from Shinola. Google that, Longfellow.

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Magister Ludi wrote:
Pearls before swine Chek.

You actually think that spew is pearls of wisdom?!??!? You don’t know shit from Shinola. Google that, Longfellow.
[/quote]

LOL

Is itjust a coincidence that the author has the same name as you?

Received it by email my ass, why don’t you just admit to writing this tree hugging crap yourself

Go post it on a swiss ball loving hippy website, this is T-Nation GGGGRRRRRR!!!

Wow, Paul Chek’s a bad trainer AND a bad poet.

LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME

Back to the Ass-Worship thread. :wink:

That post makes my think that Chek enjoyed a little too much LSD in his youth. He is having halucinations of talking to trees. I am sure that he was having halucinations with a being who has a swis ball for a head and 12 inch craps for arms when he came up with his other training principles.

You people don’t know true poetic talent when you read it :slight_smile:
Don’t you feel the chi running through you?

Did you just drop some acid Chek?

[quote]CHEKonIT wrote:
You people don’t know true poetic talent when you read it :slight_smile:
Don’t you feel the chi running through you?[/quote]

I definitely feel something running through me…

(Hint: it is about 14 inches in length and smells kind of “earthy”)

Was it well formed? Could you recognise any food?

[quote]CHEKonIT wrote:
Was it well formed? Could you recognise any food?[/quote]

Kinda hard to recognize food that’s been properly digested, no? Well maybe corn or a few things like that.

[quote]CHEKonIT wrote:
Was it well formed?[/quote]

Picture of perfection :slight_smile:

Haha, glad to hear it.
Hopefully Chekky’s next poem will be “Life as fecal matter 2006”