T Nation

Libido Experts Wanted


#1

Good afternoon

I would appreciated if women with experience would answer.

A little info.
29 year old female
154cm
51kg
Health is over all good and no medication. No birth control being used, but in the past hormonal bc were used.
3kids.
Was diagnosed with low T previously and the doctor prescribed a birthcontrol pill (wrong thing to do i would think).
Have read about bc permanently destroying libido. And think that this might be the case here. She started using hormonal bc at age 13 and stopped age 25.
During pregnancy (hormonal cocktail for any woman) and one other time getting administered drug by a doctor libido came with a revenge so she knows its there somewhere.

Situation today is like this. The mind is there, that is she wants to want it but little to nothing else is going on. Has a tiny libido boost at ovulation. But self described on how horny you can feel on the scale 0-10. Only 4, and that is on monthly time when it should be the most.

Doctors here dont treat this since she is healthy and on lower end on the normal scale.

The questions to you as the professionals. What would your recommendation be?
What substance has the most effect of making the result towards what she wish?


#2

I am not a professional or expert anything, but you might want to try Maca. Get rid of soy and plastic. If she is experiencing estrogen dominance, cabbage ( or other cruciferous vegatables) will help her body get rid of excess estrogen.


#3

It’s a huge adjustment for the body after giving birth to get hormones back in balance and it will take time to feel normal again. Some women just don’t feel as sexual after having children and it can be a bit of a mental thing as well because they are committing so much time to being a “mom” and end up unintentionally neglecting other important things in life.

I am a mother of 2, 30 years old and I was also on bc pills for over 10 years in my life. After I had kids I decided to switch to a copper iud to avoid taking any kind of hormonal birth control. It’s just another option to think about if she doesn’t want to deal with fluctuating hormones and side effects from the pills.

How long ago did she have the last baby? Is she currently doing any kind of exercise? What is her nutrition like?

If she’s not weight training currently I would recommend she starts… That alone can help improve libido by making her feel better physically and it helps manage stress levels to a point that could in turn make her more relaxed and perhaps bring back interest in sex.

Someone else mentioned trying maca… I would agree with that and give it a shot. There are some good supplements out there that can help. Even something like tribulus isn’t a bad idea.


#4

She gave birth 1.5 year ago.

Mental state is good. She wants to want this, but little to nothing is happening other than 2 days a month at the top of ovulation. Other than that not much going on. This has been a problem for years now so its not a new problem thats she is trying to fix without giving it a lot of thought.

She exercises regularly. Weight training 3-4times a week and 2 times yoga. Has tough time gaining and lose stubborn fat. One other reason she wants to try this.

More than 5years since the last hormonal bc was used.


#5

NOT an expert.

In situations where there may be a medical AND a psychological/ behavioral component, then we do best when we try to address it from both angles. Assuming she’s healthy and the doctor has no suggestions… It’s a lot like loosing weight, or any other goal.

Re: the mental part. Buy a couple of good books. See what the experts suggest. If that doesn’t work, find a therapist. Even if she doesn’t have a really strong libido, most of us still want all the positive things that go along with a healthy, happy love life. Making it a priority, even if you aren’t “feeling it” - just to experience increased affection, stronger pair bonding and the effects of oxytocin that come with sex and intimacy. The statistics on that are pretty convincing. On the other hand, I don’t know anybody who wants the negative things that come with a sexless marriage… accepting that you are terminally mismatched and doomed to a mediocre sex life…


#6

I apologize if my english is not on point. Not from a english speaking countrie.

Behavioral: Dont think there is one. But if there is not seeing what it might be.

Psychological: Not an issue. Couples night/date night ect happens. The oxytocin aspect all good. Sex is on the menu and not infrequently. She is all in for that. No hating you with my vagina so hurry up is going on. The only thing missing is the libido/craving for the act.

Physical: Must be.
Often difficulty to orgasm.
Day 15 and 16 of menstruation (ovulation), boom and its on. Pretty much every other month its there but nothing spectacular and every other month the sex drive comes with vengeance.
Her second trimester of pregnancy was also a awesome hormonal cocktail, we both thought. Im a 3times a day guy if I would have it my way and she wore me out.
Just by that we know its in there locked up, and both want it unleashed. Because why accept doing it for the reasons you mentioned, when you already know how it is the other way.

Current health you can read here above.
This must be a chemical imbalance of some kind. So the only thing to do is to experiment carefully.

Of all the chemicals available out the. What would be the most female friendly, increases sex drive and has low side effects.
Also if you guys suggest any thing you have tride that worked. What was it, any side effects, dosage size and you hight and weight (she is very petite so her dosage would probably be smaller)

Best regards


#7

Got it. I misunderstood your post on several points. No worries about the language. This kind of communication can be difficult, even if we’re all fluent in English.

Again, I’m not an expert on any of this.

@ behavioral/ mental I thought you were talking about a “low or no sex” situation. In that case, I’d have said to try to get it going again, even if it’s for the reasons I listed. I think the drive can go dormant, and we might need to remind our body what it’s missing, even if it’s on some kind of schedule at first. Women (and men) sometimes respond to stress/ anxiety/ depression by moving away from instead of toward their partner as a source of comfort/ stress relief/ positive feelings. All things that tend to help those mental/emotional problems, much like the positive effects of exercise. It’s all interconnected.

Sorry, I have no experience with trying supplements, herbs, natural remedies for this. It’s not very helpful, but I also experienced lowered libido when on BC pills, but that normalized on it’s own when I stopped taking them. No intervention required in my case.


#8

Well im willing to put my money on that this has something to do with bodychemistry. Since most other things like diet physical health ect are on point.
We are currently struggling with doctors to do full lab tests. Why is that so damn hard though, when you think your car is failing then you have it checked no problem. But when it is your body and health then you have to argue and struggle to know for sure, and most answer you get is “it probably nothing”.