Hello, my name is thomas and im 20. I am very depressed because of my mistakes. I fucked up with my balls. In fact, in February 2017 (i was 18 years old) i decided to ran a cycle for my bodybuilding purposes. I have a very good genetics for this sport, many people told me i could do a career, So i choose to do a cycle. I now realise how it was stupid, i was very uneducated on the thing and very unaware…
The cycle was 500mg per week of test enanthate for 12 weeks, with arimidex 1mg 2x per week. Gains were great. I ran pct with clomid and nolva pharma grade but failed to restart. I was very depressed, moody, low libido and low confidence. So i made the ultimite mistake: i chose to put myself on unsupervised Trt. Dosage was 150mg per week with 0.5 mg arimidex.
However, i chose to stop in january 2018. In fact, living at my parents house, this was difficult to hide, i was tired to all of this shit. So i stayed one year on T in total, and i didnt take any hcg unfortunately, wich lead to skrink balls.
So it s been 1 year i stopped gear, and i still have not recovered fully. Testicles still 50% the initale size, they are half the normal size. Its very embarrassing. My sperm is very watery and clear. Libido is bad for my age but i can get it up (thank lord). Endo told me i will heal with time but nothing change in one year!
I have done a dozen of bloodwork this year:
-Totale Testosterone is usually between 350ng/dl and 450ng/dl
-E2 between 24pg and 48pg.
-Prolactin between 12ng/ml and 20ng/ml
-LH between 3.5ui/l and 7.5ui/l would say 5ui/l on average
-FSH between 3.5UI/l and 7.6UI/l would say 5ui/l on average
When i was 16 year old i got an hormonal check and totale test was 700ng/dl, e2 were 30pg, LH was 3.5UI and prolactin was 10ng/ml
I think i have developed partial primary because of long term LH depravation, since i didnt take any hcg during one year. It seems that my balls dont fully react to LH and FSH stimulation
What do you think about my situation? and what can i do?
Thanks for reading and for your help