T Nation

Leaving the Binge Drinking Buddies Behind


#1

I'm in my late 20s and I've been drinking heavily since 21. This usually involves going out on the weekends to bars, clubs, or other events and getting hammered. It also involves being hungover the following day.

Despite hanging out with friends who are even older than I am, I seem to be the only one who finds these antics to be immature and risky. Despite making attempts not to, it usually involves someone driving drunk, unsafe sex, and other potential risks. Most of us are fairly successful with good jobs, so it's possible that an unlucky night could drastically affect our career. It's also a waste of money and hurts my fitness goals to do this week-after-week.

I feel much better with less anxiety and more confidence when I don't drink, but it is very difficult to maintain my social life. My circle of friends have no desire to change, so I will have to basically start my social life from scratch. If I continue to hang out with my current friends, it will involve being forced drinks throughout the entire night while being heckled for not getting drunk. I've tried this before and ended up back where I was despite wanting to improve my life.

For those of you who were in a similar position at some time, what do you do for social interaction? Where do you go to meet women? Do you have any other advice or stories to share?

Thanks for reading.


#2

Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.


#3

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.[/quote]

Places that you can readily pick women up and fuck them…

Alcohol makes everything easy. If you want to pick women up during the day you’re looking at too much time invested for what little reward you have. Same for online dating, its a crock of shit.

OP: stop boozing, you’ll look like shit if you keep it up. I agree with the risk thing.


#4

I would say its time for new friends, or its time to distance yourself from them. A couple of years after I got married I was the DD for a buddy on his bachelor party stayed sober the whole night not one drink, once your sober and married you really see how stupid going to clubs and bars all night all the time is waste of money we got kicked out of 3 different places…(My buddy puked on a stripper.)

Another guy tried to fight a bouncer, and I had to convince this one little turd who I didn’t really know not to drive that I was the DD he even tried to fight me for his keys. That was my last go at it not that I don’t go out now at all but its not even on a weekly basis its so much better not lifting hung over and waking up feeling better.


#5

[quote]peterlotus wrote:

I feel much better with less anxiety and more confidence when I don’t drink[/quote]

What? Does not compute.


#6

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]peterlotus wrote:

I feel much better with less anxiety and more confidence when I don’t drink[/quote]

What? Does not compute.
[/quote]

Not in the moment, obviously, but while sober. If I drink heavy regularly, I develop major social anxiety and my confidence goes way down unless I have alcohol in my system.


#7

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.[/quote]

Places that you can readily pick women up and fuck them…

Alcohol makes everything easy. If you want to pick women up during the day you’re looking at too much time invested for what little reward you have. Same for online dating, its a crock of shit.

OP: stop boozing, you’ll look like shit if you keep it up. I agree with the risk thing.[/quote]

If you can’t easily pick up girls during the day or on online dating(fishing with dynamite) you are doing it wrong.


#8

[quote]peterlotus wrote:

[quote]doogie wrote:

[quote]peterlotus wrote:

I feel much better with less anxiety and more confidence when I don’t drink[/quote]

What? Does not compute.
[/quote]

Not in the moment, obviously, but while sober. If I drink heavy regularly, I develop major social anxiety and my confidence goes way down unless I have alcohol in my system.[/quote]

yup


#9

Leave them behind, you will be better off.

Seriously, anyone I’ve ever met who hasn’t given up the “let’s get shithammered every weekend” attitude after 30 has been a loser.

There are 2 kinds of friends in this life, sails and anchors. Choose wisely.


#10

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.[/quote]

Places that you can readily pick women up and fuck them…

Alcohol makes everything easy. If you want to pick women up during the day you’re looking at too much time invested for what little reward you have. Same for online dating, its a crock of shit.

OP: stop boozing, you’ll look like shit if you keep it up. I agree with the risk thing.[/quote]

If you can’t easily pick up girls during the day or on online dating(fishing with dynamite) you are doing it wrong. [/quote]

I agree that picking up women during the day is fairly easy with confidence. Online dating is a different story unless you’re extremely attractive or wealthy and willing to make it obvious in your profile. Attractive females receive 100+ messages per day, so it’s very difficult to stand out and get a date with one of these girls. Even the average girls develop huge egos due to the amount of attention they receive. I’ve been on many dates, but none of the girls I’ve gotten dates with online have been anywhere comparable to the girls I’ve met in real life.


#11

[quote]bdocksaints75 wrote:
I would say its time for new friends, or its time to distance yourself from them. A couple of years after I got married I was the DD for a buddy on his bachelor party stayed sober the whole night not one drink, once your sober and married you really see how stupid going to clubs and bars all night all the time is waste of money we got kicked out of 3 different places…(My buddy puked on a stripper.)

Another guy tried to fight a bouncer, and I had to convince this one little turd who I didn’t really know not to drive that I was the DD he even tried to fight me for his keys. That was my last go at it not that I don’t go out now at all but its not even on a weekly basis its so much better not lifting hung over and waking up feeling better.[/quote]

Thanks, there’s definitely a sense of clarity once you step away from the drinking for a while.


#12

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
Leave them behind, you will be better off.

Seriously, anyone I’ve ever met who hasn’t given up the “let’s get shithammered every weekend” attitude after 30 has been a loser.

There are 2 kinds of friends in this life, sails and anchors. Choose wisely. [/quote]

Thank you for the advice. I’m not sure why this has never dawned on them, but I think they’re in a later stage of alcohol addiction considering some of their issues (blackouts, early signs of liver damage, DWIs, going to work intoxicated).


#13

I call people who do this, king of the retards. Basically all of these friends use each other as a justification for how shitty they are. They all really look down on each other in order to feel better about themselves. You should stop hanging out with them, but then you may have to spend more time with yourself. Might be harder then you think? So you may just want to stay king of the retards? It’s a fast road to mediocrity and what’s wrong with average anyway? Half the people are still worse then you.


#14

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.[/quote]

Places that you can readily pick women up and fuck them…

Alcohol makes everything easy. If you want to pick women up during the day you’re looking at too much time invested for what little reward you have. Same for online dating, its a crock of shit.

OP: stop boozing, you’ll look like shit if you keep it up. I agree with the risk thing.[/quote]

If you can’t easily pick up girls during the day or on online dating(fishing with dynamite) you are doing it wrong. [/quote]

I talk to women during the day and yes I’ve got numbers but doing it just to get laid on a constant basis? What am I? Some Roosh wannabe? I’ve got more important things to do than waste my time, besides I have shagged enough easy sluts to know that it isn’t worth it past the lay.

Oh and if you’re saying online dating is a fish-in-a-barrel, maybe if you’re into fat, ugly or braindead women. The ones who are decent dont meet up and if they had intentions of doing so all the thirsty guys drown you out.


#15

When you close in on the 30s it is time to leave the bar girls and find a girl with some calibre, and you don’t need alcohol to meet them. Start a social hobby and you will meet someone.


#16

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
Places to meet women:

literally anywhere on planet Earth.[/quote]

Places that you can readily pick women up and fuck them…

Alcohol makes everything easy. If you want to pick women up during the day you’re looking at too much time invested for what little reward you have. Same for online dating, its a crock of shit.

OP: stop boozing, you’ll look like shit if you keep it up. I agree with the risk thing.[/quote]

If you can’t easily pick up girls during the day or on online dating(fishing with dynamite) you are doing it wrong. [/quote]

I talk to women during the day and yes I’ve got numbers but doing it just to get laid on a constant basis? What am I? Some Roosh wannabe? I’ve got more important things to do than waste my time, besides I have shagged enough easy sluts to know that it isn’t worth it past the lay.

Oh and if you’re saying online dating is a fish-in-a-barrel, maybe if you’re into fat, ugly or braindead women. The ones who are decent dont meet up and if they had intentions of doing so all the thirsty guys drown you out.[/quote]

Maybe you are not attractive? Don’t mean that as an insult. I almost got addicted to those sites it was so easy. Seriously, not boasting, lots of lonely, vulnerable and insecure attractive women on those things. The pay ones at least.


#17

I was a solid binge drinker, but haven’t had a sip of alcohol in just over two years. All the friends I used to get drunk with have been nothing but supportive, especially as time went on and it became clear that this wasn’t a temporary thing. That either says a lot about the quality of my friends, or a lot about how little control I had over my drinking.

I’m going with a mix of both. Any friend who’s not supportive of you making positive changes in your life, well, to use lanky’s analogy, they’re anchors and need to be cut loose.


#18

I love every thread on T-Nation in regards to women, everybody on T-Nation is a poon slayer with a 8inch dick and swole ass fuck and good looking motherfcker.

IM MAD JELLY BROS.

At least guys like Orion give substantive discussion in regards to game, rest of you guys just post how awesome you are at slaying pussy buahahaha.


#19

[quote]optheta wrote:
I love every thread on T-Nation in regards to women, everybody on T-Nation is a poon slayer with a 8inch dick and swole ass fuck and good looking motherfcker.

IM MAD JELLY BROS.

At least guys like Orion give substantive discussion in regards to game, rest of you guys just post how awesome you are at slaying pussy buahahaha.[/quote]

If it’s any consolation I stopped drinking a few months before I turned 18, and I haven’t come even remotely close to having sex with anyone in almost two years.

#SoberBeta4lyf


#20

[quote]Big Kahuna wrote:]

If it’s any consolation I stopped drinking a few months before I turned 18, and I haven’t come even remotely close to having sex with anyone in almost two years.

#SoberBeta4lyf[/quote]

That’s because you like Star Trek.

Nerd.

tweet