In the hope of increasing the harmony in men-women relations, allow me to present a short guide to understanding womanese:
Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
5 Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means at least half an hour. 5 minutes is only 5 minutes if you’ve been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with “Nothing” usually end in “Fine.”
Go ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it!
: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders with she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over “Nothing.”
That’s okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint, just say “you’re welcome.”
Whatever: A woman’s way of saying “fuck you.”