T Nation

Laws of T-Nation Forumology


#1

Miserere & Co's Laws of T-Nation Forumology
===============================

Miserere's 1st Law:

As a thread's length increases, the probability that it will
turn into an Evolution vs Creationism discussion aproaches 1.

Corollary to the 1st Law:

Once a discussion on Evolution vs Creationism has ensued, the
phrase "but it's just a theory" will appear within the next
10 posts.

Miserere's 2nd Law:

At any given time, the number of T-Nationers bulking is always
greater than the number of those cutting.

Miserere's 3rd Law:

When anyone or anything is refered to as being "gay," this
word will immediately be followed by the phrase "not that
there's anything wrong with that" enclosed in parentheses.

Miserere's 4th Law:

When a newbie begins a thread asking for advice on bulking, John
Berardi's Massive Eating will be referenced within the following
5 posts, Grow! within 10 and the Anabolic Diet within 15.

Corollary to the 4th Law:

A newbie will never be eating enough calories to grow.

ipjunkie's Corollary to the 4th Law:

A newbie will question why he needs to consume more calories.

Miserere's 5th Law:

The Atomic Dog will contain at least one reference to the
following subjects: movies, sex, women, muscles. The use of
sarcasm will be liberal and puns must be included.

Corollary to the 5th Law:[/u]

The Atomic Dog will insult at least 2 major groups of people.
And 99% of the T-Nation men will love that.

Miserere's 6th Law:

At least once a month the Powerful Image will be of a sexy
bimbo in a provocative pose who will look like she hasn't
even seen a weight in her life.

Corollary to the 6th Law:

Someone will invariably start a thread to complain about this
choice for a powerful image.

2nd Corollary to the 6th Law:

A large proportion of men will confess to finding her attractive
nonetheless.

3rd Corollary to the 6th Law:

Within the first 10 posts at least one person will say
"she's got no muscle definition! but I'd do her anyway."

Miserere's 7th Law:

There will always be at least one male member looking at
Christiane's progress photos who does not know she is
married to Christian Thibaudeau.

Corollary to the 7th Law:

As Christiane's thread grows longer, the probablitity that a male
member will propose to her aproaches 1.

JPBear's Law:

It is impossible for a whole banana to be eaten. The maximum anyone
can hope to eat is 0.9 of a banana.


#2

LMAO You're fast becoming one of my fave posters. That was great.


#3

Didn't you forget the law where Boston Barrister cannot post anything less than six paragraphs of which only the first paragraph will be read by 95% of the people visiting that thread?


#4

That statement alone had me laughing out loud with continuing chuckles.


#5

I must be 5% of the people :slight_smile:


#6

I'm glad someone else noticed how ridiculous that was getting...


#7

Be fair. It was funny for a while... in 1997.


#8

Bananas should always be referred to as 0.9 of a banana.


#9

You're good, Miserere. This was hilarious!


#10

Good work Miserere, very amusing.


#11

HAHA! I needed that laugh, man. thank you! LOL


#12

We can only hope (and yell at those who cut).


#13

It IS kinda ridiculous...

...not that there's anything wrong with that...


#14

Add another Corollary to the 4th law:

A Newbie will ALWAYS question WHY he needs to consume more calories, and ProfessorX will ALWAYS ridicule the Newbie. - [not that there's anything wrong with that]


#15

That's some funny stuff.


#16

Thanks Kuz! Why don't you show your appreciation by sending me some of your mum's famous chili?

PM me and I'll give you my FedEx number.


#17

How could I forget that one!! :smiley: I'll get it fixed right away.

PS: How did that get started anyway?


#18

One of my all time favourite trolls, Al Shades, posted his diet plan consisting of fractions of foods for meals, among other things 0.9 of a banana for breakfast. Never found out what happened to the residuary 0.1, though. The thread got deleted soon afterwards and so it will remain an enigma...


#19

Very funny stuff.

I think we need one about Zeb and vroom in the political threads.


#20

Done! More or less... I didn't want to mention specific members to make these Laws a bit more timeless, so that when Prof X passes away they will still be valid. (Personally, I think Prof X is like Zorro, the handle and avatar just get passed down from one big guy to the next with the instructions to tell everyone who shows up that no, they don't have to cut, and yes, they still need to gain 40lbs before they even think of cutting.)

OK, so I jumped my own rule by including Cristiane and CT. But it's that I find it so funny the number of guys that still haven't figured out that Mrs Beast is Mrs for a reason. :smiley: