Laughed So Hard I Dropped the Weight

Just remember we were all beginners once.

I used to work out at the most popular gym in town but have since moved to a quieter much smaller gym due to all the young kids coming in and acting like they have no sense.

Okay, okay, okay, damn it, I feel compelled to offer my funny weak guy gym story.

About two years ago I was at World Gym and my good buddy and coworker Mr. Brandoni came to the gym to do a chest workout with me.

He was using the 105 dumbbells and I was giving him a spot. I was intently focusing on spotting him when I hear him tell me in a low whisper “take a look at that unique form”!

Well, on his prompting, I glance over to the bench next to us and what to my wondrous eyes does appear, but a 145 pound, bespectacled, pony tailed, noobie, working out with his girlfriend.

He is doing dumbbell flat bench press with 15 pound dumbbells and here is the kicker, he is simultaneously doing doing leg raises with tube socks pulled half way up to his knees .

Well, both me and my buddy nearly dropped the dumbbells on him which would have caved in his chest because we were on the verge of laughing so damn hard!

I will never forget “take a look at that unique form”.

For respect of the noobies, I’ll give you a funny thing that happened to me last week at the gym.

I was doing ABBH I and on the 5th set of the front squats I could feel myself getting tired and on the last rep of my squats, the 10th rep of the 5th set as I went down I must have dropped my shoulders because as I went to stand up I fell over forward and the only thing that stopped me and the weight was the front bars of the squat rack and then the weight slid down and dropped on the metal bars and made a great clanging sound… As I turned around smiling all the guys doing their dumbbell curls in the squat racks were looking at me like I deserved that because of the exercise I was doing. I just thought it was funny that I fell over.

Its great when you tell a newbie they need to squat and they say they dont need to cause the run and bike for “lower body”

Somebody have the link to the thread of the “flying cable crossovers” video posted a while ago?

Its hillarious and seems to be a saner version of what these guys are doing.

There’s this kid at my gym (probably 16, maybe 17). I can tell he’s a good kid in a neighborhood chock full of people who aren’t overly respectable, so I view him in a good light. My problem is his “total body training” method. I’m currently using Waterbury’s TBT plan - it’s awesome, btw - but this kid seems to have his own half-baked plan that he dedicates himself to.

The odd thing is, I know he knows the onwers of the gym fairly well. They’re all jacked dudes that know their shit (they’ve given me legitimate pointers - particularly with deadlift - that I’ve taken to heart). I can’t BELIEVE none of them have offered him a shred of advice.

He’ll do curls with 10lb DBs at a pretty normal cadence, then he’ll totally disappoint me by doing DB flat bench with just about the same weight and WAY TOO FAST. Hint: if you’re carrying the same DBs all around the gym for your various workouts, something is probably not right. Then he’ll do calf raises on the machine at lightning pace with barely any weight, and you can imply the rest. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY: just last night he was shadow boxing between sets in the mirror while listening to his iPod. If I hadn’t just got done removing my emotions with squats (which I hate), I might have chuckled, or even openly wept.

Well, at least he’s not like the guy with the mullet that insists on doing 85 sets of squats and then doing speed benches and calling it a day. How the hell does anyone still have a mullet in the city limits of Chicago, anyway?

Mullets increase protein uptake. You should do your reserach before you bash someone dedicated enough to induce the needed folical hypertropy for such a thing.

[quote]DontTreadOnMe wrote:

He’ll do curls with 10lb DBs at a pretty normal cadence, then he’ll totally disappoint me by doing DB flat bench with just about the same weight and WAY TOO FAST. Hint: if you’re carrying the same DBs all around the gym for your various workouts, something is probably not right. Then he’ll do calf raises on the machine at lightning pace with barely any weight, and you can imply the rest. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY: just last night he was shadow boxing between sets in the mirror while listening to his iPod. If I hadn’t just got done removing my emotions with squats (which I hate), I might have chuckled, or even openly wept.
[/quote]

Sounds like he could be a boxxer or MMA fighter. Bas Rutten recomends punching with DB’s to increase power and speed. His weight trainging routeins are odd to say the least, and anyone who trains for hypertrophy would think he’s crazy but it obvioiusly works for him

La’
Redsol1

Redsol1 is right.

There are a couple of boxers that train at my gym. Their routine is odd, to say the least, but it evidently works for their goals.

RB

Shaw Communications
Shaw Communications

These have been posted befor I thought they where cool. Flying Cable Crossovers!

[quote]Ryu wrote:
I train alone now and don’t talk to anyone - i’m “that weirdo” who does deadlifts and one arm snatches. [/quote]

Haha speaking of that, I travel down to sault ste marie for the summer and they have a YMCA, when I was just a newbie I remember only ever seeing ONE person do deadlifts, one set. That was it. Now I think…wow 99% of the gym DOESNT deadlift. Shame, ill be that 1%.

Good stories, but mine is really sad. There’s that guy, mid-50’s but with so obviously dyed-hair-to-make-him-look-younger so-he-can-hit-on-girls-who-could-be-his-daughter. Anyway, that sort of guy. He likes to load a couple of machine with as much weight as he can and then proceeds with the poorest form imaginable. I wouldn’t insult normal slacker by calling what he does quarter rep, more like 1/8 rep. Heck his leg press looks more like a leg spasm than a pressing move. Every trainer trainer there tried to tell him to at least go a little deeper, but the guy always replie that he knows best, and he got a the cutest dance partner in those lined-up danse class he takes. That one made me crack up:) Funniest is that after, he does some dynamic stretching by raising his leg over the seat of the adductor machine and call it a day. he then talks to everyone with the hint of a boob for an hour, creeping most of them out.

We’ve all been newbies, but we’ve learned. Sadly, some won’t

[quote]redsol1 wrote:
DontTreadOnMe wrote:

He’ll do curls with 10lb DBs at a pretty normal cadence, then he’ll totally disappoint me by doing DB flat bench with just about the same weight and WAY TOO FAST. Hint: if you’re carrying the same DBs all around the gym for your various workouts, something is probably not right. Then he’ll do calf raises on the machine at lightning pace with barely any weight, and you can imply the rest. TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY: just last night he was shadow boxing between sets in the mirror while listening to his iPod. If I hadn’t just got done removing my emotions with squats (which I hate), I might have chuckled, or even openly wept.

Sounds like he could be a boxxer or MMA fighter. Bas Rutten recomends punching with DB’s to increase power and speed. His weight trainging routeins are odd to say the least, and anyone who trains for hypertrophy would think he’s crazy but it obvioiusly works for him

La’
Redsol1

[/quote]

No, no. I mean in between sets the DBs are set on the floor and the shadow boxing is done sans resistance. I could respect punches thrown even with the lightest DBs on the rack.

[quote]Zen warrior wrote:
Good stories, but mine is really sad. There’s that guy, mid-50’s but with so obviously dyed-hair-to-make-him-look-younger so-he-can-hit-on-girls-who-could-be-his-daughter. Anyway, that sort of guy. He likes to load a couple of machine with as much weight as he can and then proceeds with the poorest form imaginable. I wouldn’t insult normal slacker by calling what he does quarter rep, more like 1/8 rep. Heck his leg press looks more like a leg spasm than a pressing move. Every trainer trainer there tried to tell him to at least go a little deeper, but the guy always replie that he knows best, and he got a the cutest dance partner in those lined-up danse class he takes. That one made me crack up:) Funniest is that after, he does some dynamic stretching by raising his leg over the seat of the adductor machine and call it a day. he then talks to everyone with the hint of a boob for an hour, creeping most of them out. [/quote]

See, now THAT sounds like the guy at my gym that only goes on Saturday afternoons (that I know of) and wears penny loafers with no socks and jean shorts/polo shirt while doing spastic reps. He’s dressed like he’s going to watch an air show or the PGA in 10 minutes. The difference between your guy and mine is instead he loads the machines with not enough weight so that movement is barely restricted for maximum speed. His shoulder flys (his only FW exercise) look like the kung-fu chop motion on an action figure.

I can only thank god that when i was a gym noobie it was in my high school gym under the watchful eye of a knowledgable strength and conditioniong coach.

[quote]DontTreadOnMe wrote:
Zen warrior wrote:
Good stories, but mine is really sad. There’s that guy, mid-50’s but with so obviously dyed-hair-to-make-him-look-younger so-he-can-hit-on-girls-who-could-be-his-daughter. Anyway, that sort of guy. He likes to load a couple of machine with as much weight as he can and then proceeds with the poorest form imaginable. I wouldn’t insult normal slacker by calling what he does quarter rep, more like 1/8 rep. Heck his leg press looks more like a leg spasm than a pressing move. Every trainer trainer there tried to tell him to at least go a little deeper, but the guy always replie that he knows best, and he got a the cutest dance partner in those lined-up danse class he takes. That one made me crack up:) Funniest is that after, he does some dynamic stretching by raising his leg over the seat of the adductor machine and call it a day. he then talks to everyone with the hint of a boob for an hour, creeping most of them out.

See, now THAT sounds like the guy at my gym that only goes on Saturday afternoons (that I know of) and wears penny loafers with no socks and jean shorts/polo shirt while doing spastic reps. He’s dressed like he’s going to watch an air show or the PGA in 10 minutes. The difference between your guy and mine is instead he loads the machines with not enough weight so that movement is barely restricted for maximum speed. His shoulder flys (his only FW exercise) look like the kung-fu chop motion on an action figure.[/quote]

Lol, they must be cousin then, 'cause mine wear a jogging suit, and he has an undescribable way of doing a “full-body biceps curl” He’s seated at the machine (damn nautilus!!) and bodily drags the bar and shaft over, and get this: he’s always holding it close to his body! The most mobile part is his ass, not his arms.

I have three favorites that I look for in the gym to provide comic relief.

Bachelor #1
This man is about 35, 6’4, 140 lbs. Curly brown hair, balding, large round coke bottle glasses. He always wears the same faded red (ok, it’s really pink) stretched out tank top and short gym shorts. The best part is the weight belt that is always cinched high and tight around his waist. The belt is on when he walks in the front door and doesn’t come off until he leaves. You should see his look of concentration and veins popping out of his forehead when he curls his 10 lb dumbbells.

Bachelor #2
Long and lean and sporting a fabulous farmers tan, this man wears tight sleeveless underarmour shirts and jogging shorts that should be illegal. You know the ones, they display plenty of ass cheek with each stride. Only he’s not running. Oh no. He’s benching with his legs spread wide open.

Bachelor #3
Tanned and suave with his swept back curly black hair, he wears the same green tank top and white velour pants every single day. It doesn’t matter if he’s doing ab work, curls, chins, lateral raises, or shoulder presses… he always manages to position himself so he has a great view in the mirror… of his own ass. You should see him smooth the material of his pants over it when he gets up from a bench… Or not. :wink:

SicTorn, what a picture you paint! LOL!

#2 sounds positively alarming.

http://images.t-nation.com/forum_images/./1/.1120015199537.fguyallright-large.jpg

For Sic: Here’s a picture of the typical bachelor guy(s) at your gym.

When I go to train:

I usually have my mp3 player blaring some hateful music into my ears, and try to avoid eye contact with everyone. So for the most part everyone leaves me alone.

But one time I was doing tabata front squats. I’m probably on 5-6, and I only have 10 seconds to rest…

Well from the time I walked into the squat rack a fellow had been standing nearby at the curl bars watching me as I set up, and got my two timers out.

I don’t know what the hell provoked him to even bother me as I was in a tasmanian devil type frenzy.

But he had the nerve to ask me “how many more sets do you have”.

I believe my eye twitched, and I glanced at my watch… 3 more seconds till launch time of more tabata front squats.

So I say the only thing I have time to tell him:

“RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!”

To this day everyone stays a pretty safe distance away from me.

One REALLY funny thing that happened when I first started getting pretty good at o-lifting was that some guys were doing shrugs and it looked like they were done.

Well apparently they had all just left to get their third buddy to help them move the bar up to the squat hooks. I don’t know why they didn’t just strip the weight especially if there’s two of them, but whatever.

Anyway I didnt notice that they were walking back… so I hang cleaned the weight up and racked it.

They stopped behind me and all went “WHOAAAAA…” one of their friends proceeded to tell the ring leader… “That kid would beat you at basketball, football, track, hockey, badminton…” and listed a bunch of sports till the other guy got red faced and went to some other area of the gym.

I was probably only 150lbs soaking wet at the time but I just kind of chuckled and went back to what i was doing.

[quote]Xen Nova wrote:
One REALLY funny thing that happened when I first started getting pretty good at o-lifting was that some guys were doing shrugs and it looked like they were done.

Well apparently they had all just left to get their third buddy to help them move the bar up to the squat hooks. I don’t know why they didn’t just strip the weight especially if there’s two of them, but whatever.

Anyway I didnt notice that they were walking back… so I hang cleaned the weight up and racked it.

They stopped behind me and all went “WHOAAAAA…” one of their friends proceeded to tell the ring leader… “That kid would beat you at basketball, football, track, hockey, badminton…” and listed a bunch of sports till the other guy got red faced and went to some other area of the gym.

I was probably only 150lbs soaking wet at the time but I just kind of chuckled and went back to what i was doing. [/quote]

LOL classic