T Nation

Last Night's Text Messages


#1

http://textsfromlastnight.com/

Good for a couple laughs while some of you are at work.
Enjoy.


#2

Thanks Rattler, this has more or less destroyed any chance I had of doing anything meaningful at work today. Some of these are priceless

Xav


#3

Aaaaaahahahaha!

(330): Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.

(240): I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
(301): OMG! Ew.
(240): Lucky Dad.

(773): I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.

LOL, I’m entertained.


#4

(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
(703): It’s the American dream


#5

(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
(440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
(216): Holy shit r u serious? How?
(440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.


#6

(360): i guess it’s bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
(206): ?
(360): he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!


#7

(508): so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
(401): …this stays between you and me


#8

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother…or stop drinking so much…I don’t want to see this


#9

(414): i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
(719): she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
(414): are you serious?


#10

[quote]RSGZ wrote:
(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother…or stop drinking so much…I don’t want to see this [/quote]

Definitely one of the best


#11

Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything


#12

[quote]polo77j wrote:
Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything[/quote]

Hey, I’m just trying to help the lazy…

…and match up to Swiss’s whoring.


#13

I guess the messages are edited by the site’s staff…or the collective ability of texting idiots has recently skyrocketed. I mean, something’s up when there isn’t a single “lolz wr u at.”


#14

[quote]RSGZ wrote:
polo77j wrote:
Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything

Hey, I’m just trying to help the lazy…

…and match up to Swiss’s whoring.[/quote]

You’ve got a looooong way to go to match Swiss’s whoring … but you’re on the right track at least


#15

[quote]polo77j wrote:
RSGZ wrote:
polo77j wrote:
Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything

Hey, I’m just trying to help the lazy…

…and match up to Swiss’s whoring.

You’ve got a looooong way to go to match Swiss’s whoring … but you’re on the right track at least[/quote]

It’s not whoring if you post stuff from different sources each time.

RSGZ, you’re simply and plainly a 1 dimensional whore.

Sorry.


#16

i think i found me new favourite website.


#17

[quote]Ronsauce wrote:
I guess the messages are edited by the site’s staff…or the collective ability of texting idiots has recently skyrocketed. I mean, something’s up when there isn’t a single “lolz wr u at.”[/quote]

I too noticed that. lolz.


#18

[quote]swissrugby67 wrote:
polo77j wrote:
RSGZ wrote:
polo77j wrote:
Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything

Hey, I’m just trying to help the lazy…

…and match up to Swiss’s whoring.

You’ve got a looooong way to go to match Swiss’s whoring … but you’re on the right track at least

It’s not whoring if you post stuff from different sources each time.

RSGZ, you’re simply and plainly a 1 dimensional whore.

Sorry.

[/quote]

Denial … stage one … it’s ok Swiss, when you’re ready for help, we’ll be here … to point, laugh, and ridicule you incessantly


#19

[quote]polo77j wrote:
swissrugby67 wrote:
polo77j wrote:
RSGZ wrote:
polo77j wrote:
Thank God you’re here RSGZ … I wouldn’t want to read the site myself or anything

Hey, I’m just trying to help the lazy…

…and match up to Swiss’s whoring.

You’ve got a looooong way to go to match Swiss’s whoring … but you’re on the right track at least

It’s not whoring if you post stuff from different sources each time.

RSGZ, you’re simply and plainly a 1 dimensional whore.

Sorry.

Denial … stage one … it’s ok Swiss, when you’re ready for help, we’ll be here … to point, laugh, and ridicule you incessantly [/quote]

The only things I’ve been denying recently are your sexual advances. You knows it.


#20

323): You got in a fight last night?
(818): Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom…he was standing there and I notice he’s got the same shirt as me on so I’m like…dude you should have called me, we look like idiots…he didn’t say anything…so i got pissed and hit him…completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward…weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
(323): Um…Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?

Almost spit my coffe out onto my keyboard. Good Site!

V