I figured I would post this on T-Nation, since I’ve noticed a wealth of knowledgable, experienced people with helpful and insightful things to say, who are willing to help.
I lack social stamina. When I am in a social situation for a lengthy period of time (>6 hrs), my personality seems to fall apart.
This is extremely disconcerting and its time I take some steps to correct it. Cuz this shit is just plain weird. I figured there’s got to be at least 1 person here who knows what I’m talking about or can help me.
Take this weekend for instance. A buddy of mine invited me to a beer festival with some of his friends (none of which I knew). I’m always game for some beer, so I said sure.
I meet everyone, and things are totally cool. I usually leave a pretty good impression when meeting somebody for the first time, and come off as nice but confident person. A good guy, if you will. So, things are going well at the beer festival for 5-6 hours.
And then suddenly and uncontrollably, my personality will fall apart. I will go from outgoing, social guy whose down for a party, to this shy, insecure person, who is trying DESPREATELY to fit in. (This is what my personality was like throughout my life, before I developed a sort of social adeptness, albeit temporary).
This sounds so damn childish, and I am almost embarrassed to type this, but I will basically begin to feel that “nobody likes me.” I’ll become so socially awkward that I’ll stick out like a sore thumb. I don’t panic or anything and try to ride it out as best as I can, but on the inside, I am DYING to get out of the situation.
I seriously dont know how to correct this. I’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone TIME AND TIME AGAIN, only to be met with this bullshit.
The worst part is that I feel like I am letting my friends down. This has happened before while in the company of CLOSE, TRUSTED friends, not just new people.
This even happened at work while on a business trip (that eventually led to my firing). Of course, my boss read my behavior and body language as a lack of interest. But it so wasn’t that. I literally had NO CONTROL over my personality at the time.
It’s seriously the strangest thing ever. And it happens while on extended social events. This is not good. I’ve noticed a pattern here, and its bothering me enough that I’m having trouble sleeping.
This sounds like the antithesis of a T-man, but fuck, I don’t know how to conquer this obstacle. Please advise.