Why do republicans wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft.
What are the worst 6 years in a republican’s life?
Third grade
Why is it good to have a republican passenger?
You can park in the handicap zone.
What happens when a republican has Alzheimers disease?
His IQ goes up!
What do you get when you offer a republican a penny for his thoughts?
Change.
What do you call a cellar full of republicans?
A whine cellar.
What do you call 10 republicans standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel
What do you call 15 republicans in a circle?
A dope ring
What do you call a republican in an institute of higher learning?
A visitor
What do you call a republican with half a brain?
Gifted
How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just 1, but first he’ll have to spend $40 million in taxpayer money holding a congressional hearing on it, while complaining how everyone else wastes money. Then he’ll have a special investigator spend another $40 million on it.
How many republicans does it take to change a lightbulb at their national convention?
10,001. 1 lonely African American to change it & 10,000 white men to complain Affirmative Action is unneccesary.
What’s the difference between a republican & the rear end of a horse?
I don’t know either.
What’s the difference between a dead republican lying on the road & a dead squirrel lying on the road?
You feel sorry for the squirrel.
What’s the difference between a puppy & republican who the lobbyist didn’t pay enough?
Eventually the puppy stops whining.
Why are republican hearts so coveted for transplants?
They’ve had so little use.
What’s the difference between a republican & a sack of manure?
The sack.
What’s the difference between God & a republican?
God knows he’s not a republican.
What’s the definition of a republican running for congress for the 1st time?
A mouse trying to become a rat.
What did the republican think of his new computer?
He didn’t like it because he couldn’t get the Pat Robertson channel.
What do you call 20 republicans in a freezer?
frosted flakes
What’s 5 km long & has an IQ of 40?
a republican parade
What’s the difference between a republican & a congressman?
The republican can force you to pray.
Why do we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world?
So much of it passed through republicans.
What’s the diference between a world war & a republican promise?
The republican promise causes more suffering.
What’s the difference between a penny & a republican promise?
Read my lips–a penny’s worth more.
A republican found a magic genie’s lamp & rubbed it. The genie said, “I’ll grant you 1 wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter.” So the genie made him a Democrat.
