T Nation

Killing Friends Delusion Of Muscle Gain


#1

One of my friends took up bodybuilding and he was once very lean 6 0' 155b 7-8% bodyfat full abs etc now he's "bulking" and now he's 30lb heavier after 4 months and is deluded into thinking its all muscle gain.

Abs gone, cheekbones hidden, love handles present, vascularity non existent and he still thinks its "all muscle"

I dont need to tell anyone here, but 30lb of lean muscle is a crazy amount and will drastically change ones frame especially if you are lean.

I genuinely want to point him in the right direction but how do I do that without being offensive and saying he looks like a teddy bear now etc

It should be noted that the guy is a typical "bro" who quotes stuff about deadlifts increasing test like roids and thinks consuming 15g creatine a day is better than 5.


#2

Call him fluffy. (giggle)


#3

[quote]TC15 wrote:
I genuinely want to point him in the right direction but how do I do that without being offensive and saying he looks like a teddy bear now etc
[/quote]

Any particular reason why?

I witness people engaging in self destructive behavior constantly. Texting while driving, eating fast food, drinking, not coming to full stops at stop signs, smoking, etc etc, and don’t really feel a particular obligation to save them.

Is the dude happy? If so, it sounds like he met his goal.


#4

[quote]T3hPwnisher wrote:

[quote]TC15 wrote:
I genuinely want to point him in the right direction but how do I do that without being offensive and saying he looks like a teddy bear now etc
[/quote]

Any particular reason why?

I witness people engaging in self destructive behavior constantly. Texting while driving, eating fast food, drinking, not coming to full stops at stop signs, smoking, etc etc, and don’t really feel a particular obligation to save them.

Is the dude happy? If so, it sounds like he met his goal.
[/quote]

Good point, its just not a pretty site to see when someone destroy their appearance and being in denial through the whole process.


#5

[quote]TC15 wrote:
One of my friends took up bodybuilding and he was once very lean 6 0’ 155b 7-8% bodyfat full abs etc now he’s “bulking” and now he’s 30lb heavier after 4 months and is deluded into thinking its all muscle gain.[/quote]
30 pounds in 4 months would certainly be big progress in a short time for most people, but at his height, starting weight, and starting leanness, it’s completely understandable. Not popular to say, but Starting Strength does those kinds of numbers all the time.

Did he gain bodyfat along the way? Obviously. But he also built muscle. Definitely not all muscle, but it’s there. Maybe he’s fatter now that you’d be comfortable being, but that’s more your problem, not his.

What was his strength progress like over the four months? If he saw little to no significant strength gains, then I’d be more inclined to say he overdid the eating and/or underdid the training.

He was skinny with abs, now he’s not. That’s not necessarily “destroying” anything, especially if we think long term/big picture.

How old is this dude? Does he have a specific goal he’s shooting for?

I’d work on addressing this more than his bodyfat.


#6

[quote]TC15 wrote:

[quote]T3hPwnisher wrote:

[quote]TC15 wrote:
I genuinely want to point him in the right direction but how do I do that without being offensive and saying he looks like a teddy bear now etc
[/quote]

Any particular reason why?

I witness people engaging in self destructive behavior constantly. Texting while driving, eating fast food, drinking, not coming to full stops at stop signs, smoking, etc etc, and don’t really feel a particular obligation to save them.

Is the dude happy? If so, it sounds like he met his goal.
[/quote]

Good point, its just not a pretty site to see when someone destroy their appearance and being in denial through the whole process.[/quote]

If he likes how he looks, did he really destroy his appearance?

I guess I can’t understand why you no longer finding your friend attractive is an issue here.


#7

He’s 185 pounds at 6’. Just how fat can this guy be if he is training regularly? His BMI is 25, which is hardly muscularly overweight or fat overweight! BMI is usually senseless for weight training people, but even if we go by this BMI at number value alone, we see he is not a big person for his height (not going by frame here, just muscularity), whether his mass is over-fat or lean.

155 pounds is very light for a six foot male. No wonder he had prominent cheekbones. Just how big are this guy’s love handles? TC, I am not saying this to be a jerk, but you come across as someone who is a perma-leaner or perma-cutter, so your perception of fatness might be a bit skewed, I believe.


#8

Hes in better shape than the general population and ill admit brickhead is right in saying that my perception of leaness is skewed and i can a bit hypercritical of physiques/results.

As for caring about my friends appearance, i dont. But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted


#9

I find that living well is the best revenge.


#10

[quote]TC15 wrote:
But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted
[/quote]

This sounds more like an issue of your own than an issue of your friend’s. Why do you care if he is “flexing and asking you to compare” if your own physique is so obviously superior?

As stated above, if the guy is happy with his own appearance, he met his goals. You have a different set of goals. Why do you care if he meets your standard?

I’m happy (ish) with my own fitness while acknowledging that I still could be quite a bit fitter. ThePunisher, Alpha, flipcollar, and several other posters here could come into my training log, scoff at my recent numbers, ask if I was trying our for the JV softball team to give me “a slight humbling” and leave. You’ll notice that the really strong and accomplished guys don’t bother with this kind of stuff.

Furthermore, if the guy is so intolerable, why are you his friend? I find that the easiest way to avoid these types of feelings is just cutting negative influences out of your life.


#11

[quote]TC15 wrote:
Hes in better shape than the general population and ill admit brickhead is right in saying that my perception of leaness is skewed and i can a bit hypercritical of physiques/results.

As for caring about my friends appearance, i dont. But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted

[/quote]

This sounds like a relationship problem, not a lfiting or diet problem. Maybe you guys need to see a counselor?


#12

That’s not real delusion. He should complete his delusion lifestyle by starting steroids and going on for years. He’s going to bench 365 or 405 one day thinking he’s the real deal, while never really having worked his lower body. And that is success my friends.


#13

[quote]TC15 wrote:
Hes in better shape than the general population and ill admit brickhead is right in saying that my perception of leaness is skewed and i can a bit hypercritical of physiques/results.

As for caring about my friends appearance, i dont. But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted

[/quote]

You don’t need to make anyone humble. That’s something losers say when someone is better off than them and happy about their achievements.

Seriously, if you are far more well built than him, and with all your alleged knowledge, all you have to do is flex beside him and he would naturally be humbled. If you’re not, maybe you could learn a thing or two from him.


#14

Eveytime I see this dude Phil, he’s like “you been losing weight?”

Just to mess with me!


#15

[quote]dt79 wrote:

[quote]TC15 wrote:
Hes in better shape than the general population and ill admit brickhead is right in saying that my perception of leaness is skewed and i can a bit hypercritical of physiques/results.

As for caring about my friends appearance, i dont. But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted

[/quote]

You don’t need to make anyone humble. That’s something losers say when someone is better off than them and happy about their achievements.

Seriously, if you are far more well built than him, and with all your alleged knowledge, all you have to do is flex beside him and he would naturally be humbled. If you’re not, maybe you could learn a thing or two from him.[/quote]

This. If he’s been training well that weight gain is probably going to have come along with a decent amount of strength gains, so good on him.

He’s my height and weighs about 20 lbs less than I do and I’m sitting around 20% bodyfat based on visual estimates (so there’s a decent margin of error there). At his starting weight the poor bugger would’ve been emaciated. Now he’s probably just starting look vaguely healthy again.


#16

[quote]T3hPwnisher wrote:
I find that living well is the best revenge. [/quote]

This has always been one of my favourite lines. Not usually in these circumstances, because I can’t even begin to comprehend why the OP cares about this, but in life is general.


#17

sounds like a jealousy thing. Your mate is making better progress than you and you’re being a dick about it, whining on internet forums.


#18

You being worried about his appearance seems to be a relationship issue. Also it’s okay, OP, you don’t have to say the word “friend”, it’s legal now.

But seriously, let him do what he wants to. You sound like you are either jealous, or gay.


#19

tell him about this thread you started about him that will get his goat


#20

[quote]TC15 wrote:
Hes in better shape than the general population and ill admit brickhead is right in saying that my perception of leaness is skewed and i can a bit hypercritical of physiques/results.

As for caring about my friends appearance, i dont. But i do care when you start flexing asking me to compare and then spitting broscience my way and to other people while downing your 8th pint of beer.

I think a slight humbling is somewhat warranted

[/quote]

You seem like a total dick. Worry about yourself. This is not the first time you’ve called someone out for getting fat. From what I remember in your previous posts, you’re weak as shit. But don’t worry. I’m just humbling you. It’s probably warranted, right?

Your friend sounds happy. Maybe you could learn something from him.