T Nation

Kids Say The Damnedest Things


The 6/49 Lottery jackpot is $30 Million tonight. Today, my 7 yr old boy said to me, if we won, he'd take a couple hundred bucks and buy a robot dinosaur he saw in the store and a [b][i]Tony Little's Gazelle[/i][b].

Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?

What's your kid said lately that made you chuckle?

\|/ 3Toes


Um, I would take him off soy milk if I were you.


My kid just got done taking her bath..and I usual let her run around butt bare naked for a time just because, and as luck would have it she had an accident on the floor.

Now, it's not that she SAID anything unusual, it was just the look of devastation on her face that was a keeper. I mean, she was utterly and totaly embarrassed!! I chuckled inside. Kids rock...


What's she, like 17?


When I was sqautting very heavy and frequently I used to suffer from hemorriods, and one time I kind of complained about them to my kid brother who was eight years old at the time.

Well the Christian charter school he attended would have a prayer time before the days learnings took place, and when the teacher asked for any requests my brother asked out loud in front of the whole school to pray for his brother's hemorroids. What a kid.


I always call my son "hippie" or "smelly". Tonight when I was tucking him in, I said "Good night, Hippie". He replied with, "Goodnight, Princess".


My uncle was talking about guerrilla fighters in Africa at the dinner table for whatever reason, talking about them shooting each other. Then my little cousin is like: "Gorrilas?! Shooting each other"!? Then his twin brother makes his hands into a gun, points it at his dad and goes: "Yeah! Gimme 50 bananas!!"


Ha Ha! Was he serious, or joking around? Not that it matters. What matters is HE DID IT. LOL.

\|/ 3Toes


No, he was serious. He didn't know what they were at the time, only that they were something that was bothering his big brother.


When my niece was four I gave her a haircut to correct the Florence Hendersonesque mullet my sister had inflicted upon her. She wanted long hair, but we explained to her that we were just going to even it out and she seemed fine with that.

She was really quiet during the whole haircut, and intent on watching the hair fall. I got done and held her up to the mirror but she still didn't say much. I finished cleaning up, but when I walked out into the hallway, she was just standing there completely still, staring at the floor.

I said, "Baby, what's wrong, don't you like your hair?"

She didn't respond for a minute then she shrugged, did a huge sigh and said, very matter of factly, "Oh gosh. I look like a man."


My daughter, who will be 4 next month, spouted this classic last week:
My wife was trying to put her down for a nap, but my daughter didn?t want to go to sleep, so my wife threatened to throw her stuffed tiger out the door. My daughter looked at her, pointed her finger, and said angrily, ?You?ll be hearing from my lawyers!?