Get him boxing.
Not that that’s my answer for everything, but it’s my answer for everything.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
Get him boxing.
Not that that’s my answer for everything, but it’s my answer for everything.[/quote]
Any sport that will tire him out and teach him about when it’s ok to get all alpha is a great idea. It’s normal for kids to have energy and lack social skills as to how to use it. What’s not normal is how teachers and some parents deal with it. What 5 year old kid wants to talk about his feelings, when he could be running around playing hockey or punching something.
Seriously, my friend’s Mom got him into martial arts 20+ years back because of similar behavior. That was her alternative to Ritalin, which the teachers may start pushing on you and your kid soon enough. I truly believe that if all kids were required to participate in some vigorous physical activity on a regular basis, a few big pharma companies would be out of business.
Smart kid. He’s already learned that teachers are powerless. Good luck when he gets into high school!
For the time being, I could recommend the ear pull. I was a huge troublemaker when I was little, and my parents got to using my ears like handles when I was misbehaving. Its gets a kids attention real quick.
[quote]Eli B wrote:
Serious post:
You have neglected to mention any steps you have taken to put an end to this short of spanking.
I agree that the teacher has a lot of responsibility but you have to try and help.[/quote]
This was along the lines of my thought too.
What are YOU doing for discipline?
You mention it being okay for the babysitter to spank your kid if he’s acting up when he’s with her. He’s acting up in school though, where the teacher can’t spank him. Does he know he’s not going to get a whuppin’ when he gets home also? Because then he really doesn’t have a reason to not act up.
But if he knows he’s gonna get a whuppin’ when he gets home because he was acting up YET AGAIN, it might go a long way to getting him to stop.
What sort of punishment does he get at home for getting in trouble at school?
[quote]koleah wrote:
[quote]Eli B wrote:
Serious post:
You have neglected to mention any steps you have taken to put an end to this short of spanking.
I agree that the teacher has a lot of responsibility but you have to try and help.[/quote]
This was along the lines of my thought too.
What are YOU doing for discipline?
You mention it being okay for the babysitter to spank your kid if he’s acting up when he’s with her. He’s acting up in school though, where the teacher can’t spank him. Does he know he’s not going to get a whuppin’ when he gets home also? Because then he really doesn’t have a reason to not act up.
But if he knows he’s gonna get a whuppin’ when he gets home because he was acting up YET AGAIN, it might go a long way to getting him to stop.
What sort of punishment does he get at home for getting in trouble at school?[/quote]
Why would you whup your child because the other children are pansies?
[quote]Otep wrote:
[quote]koleah wrote:
[quote]Eli B wrote:
Serious post:
You have neglected to mention any steps you have taken to put an end to this short of spanking.
I agree that the teacher has a lot of responsibility but you have to try and help.[/quote]
This was along the lines of my thought too.
What are YOU doing for discipline?
You mention it being okay for the babysitter to spank your kid if he’s acting up when he’s with her. He’s acting up in school though, where the teacher can’t spank him. Does he know he’s not going to get a whuppin’ when he gets home also? Because then he really doesn’t have a reason to not act up.
But if he knows he’s gonna get a whuppin’ when he gets home because he was acting up YET AGAIN, it might go a long way to getting him to stop.
What sort of punishment does he get at home for getting in trouble at school?[/quote]
Why would you whup your child because the other children are pansies?[/quote]
all kids should be whipped… the more the better… I see so many kids that punk their parents and the parents give in. I think whipping kids is the best thing you can do for them but You have to tell them why you’re hitting them. No kid should ever talk back to their parents. Ever!
If they’re talking back right now, they will run circles all over you later. I am very passionate about this subject and when i have kids… Im gonna whip them if they give me any lip… fucking little bastards…
Since everyone expects me to go Catholic on everything, I will. Bayside Prophesies:
“Humanism in your world has been created by satan. You will bring back the adages of old of: Spare the rod, and you will spoil the child. Discipline must be returned to the homes.” - St. Joachim, July 25, 1973
"I wish that all fathers of households stand forth and practice their role. They will use the rod and not permit their children to go astray. Firmness is needed in your world that is filled with laxity, permissiveness, and degradation.
“Your children have been misled by many who shall answer to the Father. As teachers they have failed in their role. Therefore, as parents you must succeed in yours.” - St. Joseph, March 18, 1973
I’m not sure what is going on with the child, but if you’re disciplining him (I would check out The Rule by Saint Benedict http://rule.kansasmonks.org/ just replace “abbot” with “father” and “monastery” with “family”) I would suggest boxing. Teach him to just ignore shit that is just annoying and correct shit when correcting needs to happen.
This basically sums up what is needed for your boy.
many of the points i was going to suggest have been, but also i get the feeling that your kid ‘likes’ discipline.
i assume your family is fairly religious and therefore church/sunday school is a big thing in the kids life and he KNOWS that in this place he is to behave and show respect, as he has been taught. same at home.
around his friends houses, he is comfetable in his surroundings, and feels no compunction to ‘aggressively’ (for want of a better word) assert himself over other kids.
perhaps at school, he isnt being exposed to discipline that shows where he is in the pecking order, therefore doesnt treat the teacher with respect - shes just an annoying adult.
likewise with the other kids, perhaps he hasnt had enough ‘practice’ making friends. does he play rough with his friends? maybe thats the only way he knows?
personally i don’t have kids but when i was younger my cousin would act out similarly. it could be one of a few things.
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he’s just bored in school. Whatever they are teaching him or he’s experiencing in school bores him. When he’s bored he’s gonna act out and do other things. I’m not a genius but i distinctly remember acting out in class when i knew the subjects that were being covered. Perhaps the things the teacher is trying to convey to him bores him and in turn he acts out… poking etc.
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he doesn’t have an incentive to stay good in school. Like others have stated enroll him in a sports program or after school activity he really enjoys (boyscouts, martial arts, sports, etc). Be sure to tell him that being good in school directly affects this new found passion. If he does bad in school then he can’t go. If he does well then he can. Mark his progress visually. If he gets a note from the teacher put it on the fridge something along the lines of “(son’s name) if you get another note this week you can’t go to (insert sport)” etc etc…
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Lack of a father figure? you said you were away for work alot. he could be acting out or acting more masculine to fulfill the father role? Im just going off what u’ve said.
Children crave discipline and order in a household. good luck.
We NEVER hit our son. He’s never been a problem at school or anywhere. My wife and I were VERY consistent and on the same page as far as discipline at home goes. Also, I never rough-housed with my son when he was young.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
We NEVER hit our son. He’s never been a problem at school or anywhere. My wife and I were VERY consistent and on the same page as far as discipline at home goes. Also, I never rough-housed with my son when he was young.
[/quote]
All attempts at humor aside, different things work for different kids. Some require an ass-whupping, while some don’t. I was one that getting beat had no affect on, however, I was born with a conscience. I was usually pretty damned remorseful after I did wrong. The spanking to me was unnecessary. Now, my brother and a couple of my nephews on the other hand…yeah…WHOOP DAT ASS!!! lol.
I do respect those that have good kids and don’t ever have to resort to getting physical.
Speaking of nephew, one of them, 6, is a very aggressive child as well. My sister and I had a talk about him and I told her that beatings won’t work. What will work, which I demonstrated a while ago, is to sit his butt in a chair and not allow him to move from that spot. No talking, no moving, just sitting there. Still.
He absolutely HATED not moving. I recommended she put him in wrestling. It’s a very active sport, and he’ll begin to learn about discipline. Especially when dealing with other kids that can beat him. Food for thought.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
We NEVER hit our son. He’s never been a problem at school or anywhere. My wife and I were VERY consistent and on the same page as far as discipline at home goes. Also, I never rough-housed with my son when he was young.
[/quote]
The OP sounds like the typical parent of a kid who is never told the meaning of respect nor appropriate social behaviour.
Children should be TALKED to, and not just “If you behave badly you get SPANKED!”.
This kid will grow up to be a delinquent. He already does what he wants and disrespects those older than him. He does not listen to the nannies/caretakers at the kindergarten because like you put it… they can’t physically do anything to him.
He hasn’t been taught the importance of responsible behaviour because apparently his mother thinks it is the problem of the OTHER kids… and not her baby boy who would never do such a thing.
I was bullied in kindergarten, primary and middle school, which lead to me doing the bullying on several occasions. I “manned up” and got into fist fights… which got me nowhere except considered wild and crazy by those my age and on occasion the teachers themselves (and as a result I was ostracised).
I was also spanked, and straight up I will say that it never taught me ANYTHING than resentment to the person who spanked me. Violence doesn’t teach shit.
As a parent it is your job to set an example, show your kid how to behave and interact with others, to respect people older than him, to be confident and stand up for himself (which it seems he knows how to do very well), and to treat people the way he wants to be treated.
This child needs a father figure. You said he acts great when you are at church… notice how this is when you and him are together. Spend more time with your son. Teach him the meaning of strength of character and honor.
Your kid is bored and teacher won’t assert discipline.
I was educated in Cuba where teaches DO HIT KIDS if they start shit, and when kids fight teachers break it and tell the kids to “shake hands” and sit down. (only on rare and bad fights are kids punished or parents involved)
So I suggets:
-Tell the teacher (while he waits outside) that your son is an energetic male and therefore the teacher needs to be more assertive on disciplining the child.
-Tell your kid not to roll over people just because he can, he should roll over someone ONLY when that person disrespects him.
Oh and YES 5 year-old is old enough to understand what adults tell him, and yes they do remember what they were told. What makes something stick a kids mind (or anyone’s mind for that matter) is HOW something is told.
Most kids want to please the adult figure. As others have asked, what have you tried so far? Does your child know what he is doing that is “wrong?” Does he know why it’s wrong? If the girl doesn’t like the “claw” thing, have you told him he is not to do that to her? Does he know what the punishments will be if he does do it? Have you done role plays with your kid to show him how to act? What carrots and sticks have you used?
Get him tested for ADHD.
[quote]destroyedquads wrote:
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
We NEVER hit our son. He’s never been a problem at school or anywhere. My wife and I were VERY consistent and on the same page as far as discipline at home goes. Also, I never rough-housed with my son when he was young.
[/quote]
The OP sounds like the typical parent of a kid who is never told the meaning of respect nor appropriate social behaviour.
Children should be TALKED to, and not just “If you behave badly you get SPANKED!”.
This kid will grow up to be a delinquent. He already does what he wants and disrespects those older than him. He does not listen to the nannies/caretakers at the kindergarten because like you put it… they can’t physically do anything to him.
He hasn’t been taught the importance of responsible behaviour because apparently his mother thinks it is the problem of the OTHER kids… and not her baby boy who would never do such a thing.
I was bullied in kindergarten, primary and middle school, which lead to me doing the bullying on several occasions. I “manned up” and got into fist fights… which got me nowhere except considered wild and crazy by those my age and on occasion the teachers themselves (and as a result I was ostracised).
I was also spanked, and straight up I will say that it never taught me ANYTHING than resentment to the person who spanked me. Violence doesn’t teach shit.
As a parent it is your job to set an example, show your kid how to behave and interact with others, to respect people older than him, to be confident and stand up for himself (which it seems he knows how to do very well), and to treat people the way he wants to be treated.
This child needs a father figure. You said he acts great when you are at church… notice how this is when you and him are together. Spend more time with your son. Teach him the meaning of strength of character and honor. [/quote]
I agree. Violence only teaches you to have hate inside you until you pass it on to someone else. Kids that act up just want attention, even if it’s negative.
I got beaten relentlessly since birth and it did nothing but show me how to be brutal.
I also learned to be sneaky, manipulative, and that consequences only occur after you get what you want, thus rendering them useless.
So, be careful with those beatings. When I finally gave one back to the old man it was ugly.
I would just hope that you are seeking the help of professionals or others that are experienced in this area.
Also, I think addressing the issue directly by speaking to your child is always beneficial. If you want someone to understand that something isn’t allowed, your best off telling them directly.
[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:
We NEVER hit our son. He’s never been a problem at school or anywhere. My wife and I were VERY consistent and on the same page as far as discipline at home goes. Also, I never rough-housed with my son when he was young.
[/quote]
You sound like my dad and that’s meant in the most complimentary way.
I never thought about rough-housing and what might happen, as my dad never did that with me either. Sounds like a good idea not to do that. He was strict but never needed to hit me as he just seemed untouchable. He’s my dad! sort of thing.
My dad was the kind that IF the teacher called home or something like that. he’d immediately take the teacher’s side.
Some of the worst parents with the worst students I’ve seen are the ones that always blame the school or teacher first.
Congratulations! You’ve bred another jerk!