[quote]nephorm wrote:
There are nonlethal ways they could deter the monkeys, btw.
I just don’t think they should be required by law to go to such lengths or exercise that level of ingenuity just to eat.[/quote]
I heard that if you tie a bunch of cans to their tails, the monkeys will run themselves to death trying to get away from the cans.
Or, you could just poke firecrackers up their butts, and light 'em up.
wow. So, who’s in favor of creationism now?
That is just, really insane, sexual harrasment?
Man, shit, shoot the bastards. I know if I was out trying to gather some of my crops, and a group of monkeys came out to take it from me, I’d fight them off to the death. Fucking monkeys.
I don’t even know why anyone cares, I mean, do these people even go to the gym? And I bet their Macro ratios are all off. They need to be taking fish oils.
I don’t think you’d have to kill all the monkeys, just a few to restore a healthy fear and respect of man.
I will kill all the monkeys.
Just give me a gun and some ammo.
[quote]rainjack wrote:
nephorm wrote:
There are nonlethal ways they could deter the monkeys, btw.
I just don’t think they should be required by law to go to such lengths or exercise that level of ingenuity just to eat.
I heard that if you tie a bunch of cans to their tails, the monkeys will run themselves to death trying to get away from the cans.
Or, you could just poke firecrackers up their butts, and light 'em up.
[/quote]
I was thinking pellet guns.
Send Samuel L. Jackson over there.
“I’m tired of all these MF monkeys eating all my MF crops!”
[quote]BigRagoo wrote:
I was thinking pellet guns. [/quote]
Yeah, I was thinking BB gun. The monkeys are the size of a large house cat. I’ll tolerate lewd gestures from construction workers who outweigh me by 100 pounds, but little monkeys? No. I think I’d do best to put on my man’s clothes (which, LOL) and go shoot them.
Of course, I probably couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn with a BB gun, so it might not help at all. But at least I’d be happy trying.
It took me a second reading to realize that the monkeys were grabbing their own breasts. I initially thought they were groping the actual village women. I was filled with outrage.
[quote]Mutu wrote:
Get a jaguar to eat the monkeys.
Then get a tiger to eat the jaguar.
Then get a bear to eat the tiger.[/quote]
Then get monkeys to chase bear away.
We could napalm the areas that the monkeys are in and accidently incinerate them.
Or maybe just shoot at one, and since the others are around it, they might get hit by a few thousand rounds of .50 cal.
By accident, of course.
A friend of mine is from Bombay (grad student), and he had some troubles with monkeys when he was staying with a relative of his abroad. They were stealing the mangos and throwing stuff at him, invading the house, etc.
What’d he do? He cut the head off one of the monkeys and hung it by the house. Voila! No monkeys the next morning. Sacrifice one, or a couple dozen, put the heads on sticks around the fields. No more problem.
[quote]Aragorn wrote:
Sacrifice one, or a couple dozen, put the heads on sticks around the fields. No more problem.[/quote]
Hmm. I might still feel I had a problem if there were old severed monkey heads scattered around my village on sticks.
But I guess better that than continue to tolerate the village men wandering around naked while the monkeys lewdly mock the cross-dressing women and everybody eats prematurely-harvested, unripened food.
Surely they’d forget about the welfare of a monkey over a village of humans unable to cultivate their crops.
And if these monkeys are so smart, it should only take shooting one or two of them to get the message across. Leave their carcasses hanging in an easily seen area for the other monkeys to remember, sort of like town square hangings of the 1800’s.
[quote]texasguy1 wrote:
Surely they’d forget about the welfare of a monkey over a village of humans unable to cultivate their crops.
[/quote]
You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But I’m much less optimistic about the rational capacities of idealist environmentalists, particularly if a village of people have delibrately avoided killing the animals because of that law.