T Nation

Keeping My Girl Interested in Lifting?


#1

Well, I recently started lifting again, and my girl has been joining me when she has the time, but I can tell she's already getting bored with it. I'm trying to find ways to make it a competition (one she can actually have a shot in) or rewards after (we already have one;) or before, or something to make it more than just "lifting" until she can see results.

Any suggestions, or should I move this to a different forum?


#2

I’d put her onto crossfit. Have her watch some youtube videos of what they do and it might motivate her. Have her do some of their workouts. Plus crossfit chics from I’ve seen have some real eye friendly physiques.


#3

I’d write out a two month program. Set some goals. I’d think that’s the best way to keep anybody motivated and consistent.


#4

Yeah. I definitely could sit down and do that with her. I’ve got to buy another set of calipers, but do you think getting all the #'s (like I plan to do with my stats) like weight, bf%, measurements, etc would put a little bit of “self consciousness” into the mix, or would being able to see the progress help in the long run?

Also, I might look into that cross fit stuff, as well as any other things that’ll keep her interested and active.


#5

If it were me I’d need to see results, either from changes in my body or by seeing my strength increase. Make sure she’s actually pushing herself hard enough to feel like she’s working on something–I mean by making sure she knows how hard she can work. A lot of women don’t realize how strong they are and going half-assed is a sure way to get bored.


#6

If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. Dump her when she gets fat.


#7

Ha, she does want to. She’s 5’3 about 110, and a dancer. Chances are she’s not getting fat any time soon, but she is like any girl and complains about her problem spots. I need to start getting back into the swing of working out, and she is actually interested in joining me.

What’s the best way to push her without coming off as too intense? She’s used to me putting my foot down and controlling situations, sometimes being a dick about shit, but that’s with general life and motivation. However, when I lift, I’m more “cut the bullshit and fucking push yourself” and think that could kill the motivation on her part.


#8

tell her it will make her ass look good…haha


#9

Lace her water with heroin and say it’s the endorphins from anaerobic training.


#10

My wife and I do Crossfit together. My wife is interested in performance not size gains.


#11

[quote]xivb4m wrote:
tell her it will make her ass look good…haha[/quote]

Ha, I’ve done that. She knows it’d help, but the fact that I basically worship her ass (it’s quite sexy lol) maybe lessens the effect of that fact.

I think I’ll look into cross fit a bit. Don’t know if I, personally, will do that, but getting her into something interesting just to keep her active and in the workout “mode” sounds like a good idea.


#12

All about having goals and recording progress. Find something she wants to improve on and figure out how you can measure it.


#13

It shouldn’t be your job to keep her interested. If you want her fit, she should know its important to you and just do it herself.


#14

[quote]Otep wrote:
If she doesn’t want to, she doesn’t want to. Dump her when she gets fat.[/quote]

exactly, if she doesn’t want to change then you can’t make her change

we live in the microwave society, a long term commitment with PHYSICAL PAIN for YEARS is something that not many have the balls for (male or female)


#15

One thing I noticed when I was a trainer was that while men will respond to a challenge, women respond to encouragement. As far as in the gym, this means that rather than “you can’t do it, prove me wrong”, try “wow, look how much progress you’ve made, this weight was too heavy for you 2 weeks ago.”

Just my little piece of advice.


#16

Man it’s so easy for me go get a girlfriend interested in working out. Just let them know it’ll help them with everyday things and what girl doesn’t want to have the nicest legs around when they wear a nice short dress with high heels. Small waist, perfect for grabbing and pulling in tight against you until all you feel are curves and the warmth only the body of a sexy woman can provide…


#17

[quote]StazNasty wrote:
Yeah. I definitely could sit down and do that with her. I’ve got to buy another set of calipers, but do you think getting all the #'s (like I plan to do with my stats) like weight, bf%, measurements, etc would put a little bit of “self consciousness” into the mix, or would being able to see the progress help in the long run?

Also, I might look into that cross fit stuff, as well as any other things that’ll keep her interested and active. [/quote]

I think she would benefit from knowing the numbers and seeing progress. She might feel better about it if someone other than you does the measurements though. I would put the calipers away unless you have a professional who has a lot of experience with them. waist, hip thigh chest and arm measurements would be a better option and may be less confronting for her.


#18

Also choose a couple of lifts and do them with high frequency. You might think that its boring but its wat a beginner needs, and she will be able to see progress alot better than if you change the exercises every week.
Hope this helps man


#19

[quote]threewhitelights wrote:
One thing I noticed when I was a trainer was that while men will respond to a challenge, women respond to encouragement. As far as in the gym, this means that rather than “you can’t do it, prove me wrong”, try “wow, look how much progress you’ve made, this weight was too heavy for you 2 weeks ago.”

Just my little piece of advice.[/quote]

Ignoring all the sexists and stupid “joke” bits of advice this is the best thing you can do. Girls do not “see” much progress due to their naturally decreased test levels, this a great intro article ( http://www.defrancostraining.com/articles/archive/articles_female-train.htm ).

I am going to come out and make an assumption that your are training for mass(non-function hypertrophy) so every workout you are going for a “pump”. If you girlfriend is doing the same exercises as you she will not progress, as stated above, as fast as you in the looks department. This can lead to, in the circumstance of ignorance as to why progress is slow to, lack of confidence, anger, sadness which is probably manifesting in this “boredom” you are talking about.

Give her a program that will “empower” her like a big compound movement program, I am thinking along the lines of Rippetoe/Madcow where progress for newbies is swift even for girls and you will be adding weight every week if not every workout even if it is like 5lbs. Then as the poster I quoted stated encourage her every step of the way and show her how much she’s improved. It will make life so much easier if she is not “competing” with you.

As an aside I would also recommend going in the Powerful Women forum and checking out figureathelete. Also possibly get your girlfriend to start posting there so she can find people she can relate to.


#20

[quote]threewhitelights wrote:
One thing I noticed when I was a trainer was that while men will respond to a challenge, women respond to encouragement. As far as in the gym, this means that rather than “you can’t do it, prove me wrong”, try “wow, look how much progress you’ve made, this weight was too heavy for you 2 weeks ago.”

Just my little piece of advice.[/quote]

spot on.