T Nation

Just Missed a DUI...Maybe...

I was drinking with a friend, and I’m a light drinker lately, so I had 3 vodka tonics over a 2 1/2 hr period while eating snacking on some food. He had been drinking a few hours before, so he was too drunk to go home so I told him I’d drop him off at his house, as I wanted to go out afterwards to this girl Katie’s.

Anyways, I dropped him off and was driving back, I didn’t want to take this main road, so I turned into a police station and low and behold, after I u’ed in their parking lot and left, a police started following me. I went down a back road and started making alot of turns. He kept on following, and when I noticed he was still there after the third, I decided to turn into a farm. I turned into this farm and stopped the car, turned it off. He passed by once, twice, and then on the third time turned into the farm behind me.

I HAD FORGOTTEN TO TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHTS, FUCK!!! I turned off the car. locked the doors, and buried my keys in the my inside pant pcoket, so he couldn’t search the vehicle. I had an unregisterd pistol in the trunk. I feigned fucking with my cellphone, trying and he pulled up completely and shined a big light on me.

“Have you been drnking?” “Why have you stopped in this farm?” “Do you live here?” “Why did you turn?” “Can you pass a finger test?”

My responses, “No.” “My car keeps on hiccuping, the motor is shaking, and then craps out.” “No. I stopped here cuz my motor crapped out.” “I turned here, cuz it’s right by my house. I live around here, I power lift with Andy and Rob the police lieutents up at Eagle’s Gym, I really love this community.” “Ya I can pass a finger test, do you want me to come over there?”

So I walk over there, and he shines a light in my face and I follow the fingers, I do it as perfectly as I could. But the light is shining in my face so at the end of the second, I bat over once at the light, to not be too perfect.

He says to me, “Your eyes are red? Why are you lying to me, you’ve been doing drugs?” I tell him, “I’ve been aruging with my girlfriend on the phone, perhaps that put my eyes red?” I didn’t think they were red, take a look.

He looks satisfied. I say, “Look, I’m just trying to call triple AAA, my motor is about to bust, I don’t know what’s wrong, I think the cam sensors and cat convertor are jacked, I havene;t been drinking, I’m just sitting here going to wait for a tow. Is that okay?”

He says “That’s okay. If you’ve been drinking just tell me, if you live as close as you say, I’ll just drop you off.”

I say, “No I haven’t had a drop, I just need to get this thing towed, this farmer has all mchines, probably has all guns, I’m not trying to stay here long.”

After that, he got in his car and pulled out. Went up the street, the second he left site, I dashed as fast I could in the woods and found a ditch and laid belly first in it for about an hour. I watched the lights for a while, contemplated running home. After that hour, I saw some lights come by and turn, maybe it was the cop… I dashed to the car, and hopped in, and drove to my apt which is about two blocks away.

When I got the stop light, the same cop was right across the street and starting right at me…FUCK!!! I turned, and once he went down and was out of site over the hill, I gunned my car to get distance, as I decelerated, a cop came out of NOWHERE, and was about 40 meters away in my back window, I turned into a street which I had been planning to, and once in, gunned my car, and drove as fast as I fucking could in the middle of the street to gain distance.

I never saw that cop pull in, I turned all back streets to shake the trail, and then managed to get into my apt and then my parking space. Sprinted up the stairs into my apt, and was home free.

I may have passed the breathalyzer or a bloodtest, but I was not willing to risk it. I weight 225 lbs at 5 ’ 9 and I’m about 20 bf. I’m not sure if I’d have passed or not. But anyways, do you guys think I did the right thing? When I was 18 a similar thing happened, and the cop was acting all cool and I told him I’d been drinking (I was a passenger) and he tried to come at me with a breatalyzer, and I RAN MY FUCKING ASS OFF. I figure those questions are set ups, they wanna play friends to make admit guilt.

If he had tried to breathalyzed me tho, or tried to apprehend me, I would have feigned, a seizure or heart attack and started haking and having an embolism, and got out of it. I think inasurance-wise they cannot apprehend you while geeking out like that, because it might be legit.

Anyways, what do you guys think? Do you think he was trying to be genuinely be cool with me? Was I drunk? Should I have done what I did? Did he not have a legal leg to stand on, after I’d turned off and exited my car?


You are one paranoid fuck.

Unless your metabolism has stopped completely, you can definitely metabolize 3 drinks in 2 1/2 hours. You’d probably have blown a .04 or a .05. The worst thing you could have done was to pull over, even with the lights off. You cannot be pulled over if you don’t commit some sort of moving violation or have a taillight out or something, so you should have just kept driving while obeying all traffic laws. Pulling over the way you did is a sure way to get fucked with. You should have just pulled that gun out of your trunk and shot the fucking cop.

for future reference

As for geeking out- They will arrest you and draw blood at the hospital. Wouldn’t be the first time a person has faked a seizure to get out of a DUI.

The rest of it- Holy shit, Stay away from substances. You are goofy enough.

For what it’s worth- It does sound like he was being cool with you. It isn’t rocket science to know when someone is nervous and lying.

3 vodka tonics in three hours got you drunk?

Christ they should have arrested you for being a pussy.

If you get pulled over the last thing you want to do is act paranoid and make up stories.
Cops deal with people who bullshit them ALL the time.
You need to wise up buddy.

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
3 vodka tonics in three hours got you drunk?

Christ they should have arrested you for being a pussy.[/quote]

I Lol’d.

The line they will use on you if you fake a seizure or something “Would you rather ride with us or in an ambulance?” Then they will take you to the hospital and you rack up bills, possibly get your stomach pumped and some blood taken. Then you go to jail. (I’ve been bartending for 8 years and have seen it a few times)

[quote]BarMan wrote:
The line they will use on you if you fake a seizure or something “Would you rather ride with us or in an ambulance?” Then they will take you to the hospital and you rack up bills, possibly get your stomach pumped and some blood taken. Then you go to jail. (I’ve been bartending for 8 years and have seen it a few times)[/quote]

Not to hijack, but where in TN are you located? I worked at BAR Knox on the UT strip, just wondering if I know you by chance, hah.

He tried to breathalyze you as a PASSENGER and you ran? Are you retarded you could’ve had 100% BAC from vodka flowing through your veins and he couldn’t of done shit because you’re a PASSENGER, hence why you’re being driven home by a (presumably) sober driver.

[quote]JLu wrote:
He tried to breathalyze you as a PASSENGER and you ran? Are you retarded you could’ve had 100% BAC from vodka flowing through your veins and he couldn’t of done shit because you’re a PASSENGER, hence why you’re being driven home by a (presumably) sober driver.[/quote]

I know the post was nearly incoherent, but he did say he was 18 at the time of that incident, and probably didn’t want an MIC. Of course, he could have simply declined the breathalyzer test since he wasn’t driving.

[quote]JLu wrote:
He tried to breathalyze you as a PASSENGER and you ran? Are you retarded you could’ve had 100% BAC from vodka flowing through your veins and he couldn’t of done shit because you’re a PASSENGER, hence why you’re being driven home by a (presumably) sober driver.[/quote]

Reading comprehension isn’t your strongest attribute, eh?

Waylander, I work at Kurt’s.

wow spetnaz. I’m surprised your ass didn’t get a breathalyzer. You sounded goofy as hell lol. wtf is the running in the woods about lol?! I would have just driven home fuck… Who knows you prob were driving like shit and he just wanted to tail you and see if you fouled up. (hate when cops do this)

LOL @ running away from breathalyzer. You’re spontaneous as hell, I’d love drinking with you.

[quote]BarMan wrote:
Waylander, I work at Kurt’s. [/quote]

I got your PM, that’s cool dude, small world haha.

[quote]marlboroman wrote:
for future reference

someone should dedicate a whole thread to just this video.

way to take responsibility for your actions. 2009’er go figure.

Anytime you’re in Saint Louis man,…lol