T Nation

Just Lost My Virginity at 23


Oh, I don’t know, you’re kind of cute in a ‘bit of rough’ kind of a way.


Man, you construct too many arguments against yourself.

Go do some volunteer work for a charity or something to get out of your own head, and create some proof to the contrary of what you think about yourself.

In your last thread you self identified as a brooding artsy type. Fuck that with a capital F. Go out and prove that you are a person of value that is capable of doing some good.


That was like 2 years ago. I agree but with a caveat. Fuck broodiness (the bad kind) yes, but don’t fuck art. Never fuck art.

Art can do good, if you use it in the right way. I’m not talking the fucking egostical famous rich crazy music artists here who everyone loves but everyone with a brain and sense of human decency hates, I’m talking those who are down to earth and use it to raise awareness or do charity work with it, etc, which is something I’ve considered. I’ve been a musician since I was 5.


Oh, I’m familiar with it. I have had the pleasure of working with some of the finest, both current and historically.

On the get out and do part- I mean help the disabled, serve in a soup kitchen, etc. Simple, easy, and feels good.


I volunteered last summer at a summer camp, I know it’s not disabled people but in a way since it’s kids often coming from inner city homes and little parental involvement it’s a charity move. Hurt me financially a bit but I enjoyed it.


Good. I like to help disabled vets through this organization- http://www.projecthealingwaters.org/

It doesn’t cost me anything and we have a great time. I’ve met some of the best people of my life out fishing on a Saturday.


Yeah, volunteering is great. Me, I worked at a charity shop. I started off on a jobcentre program, then went back because I enjoyed it. It really builds up your confidence, gives you valuable skills, and quite apart from the selfish benefit it does some actual good as well.


Haha i am the last person on earth i would think someone would use the word rough to describe


Nevertheless, you’re not bad looking. I would say ‘no homo’, but at this point that’s basically a lie.


All good, I unfortunately do not go that way but I have had men of that persuasion hit on me pretty consistently since I was 17.

I was told it’s not entirely a bad thing since in some ways they are attracted to the same things women are


Pretty much. All I’m saying is don’t run yourself down. I mean, listening to me is a bad idea generally speaking, and I finished work early today so I’m two pints to the good, but if I could have given myself a tip at your age it would be this: Don’t bother trying to change yourself. You’re good as you are.


It’s tough because I have both a perfectionist and addictive personality. For example, if someone tells me that I should either shave or grow more facial hair, I will want to simply grow a beard because it’s more of a challenge. I also have a habit of doing things specifically because people said I couldn’t or wouldn’t.

Personally I try to harness the inner nihilism, if you always think you aren’t good enough, on the plus side, you will only get better. Plus my life as it stands right now is not one that any sane person should be content with.


Have you considered marijuana?

Seriously though, it sounds like you have the right sort of attitude, most of the high achievers I’ve known have been a bit like that. Now me, I’d rather have the leisure time to smoke weed and lift weights, but each to their own. Things will look up for you.


Actually, I’ve been a stoner of a varying degree since I was 18. I wasn’t even a smoke-err-day one until last year, where I probably got high at least one a day while working a minimum wage job for 8 months. Sometimes on the job.

I have mixed feelings about it, I support legalization, as with anything I don’t think it’s the thing itself that’s the problem; it’s people’s usage and attitude toward it. But I did recently hear an NPR On Point bit where they discussed at length how it’s generally considered a higher risk for young people under 25. The brain is going through a period of crucial development; it backed up a lot of what I had already read.

Even though I’ve experienced that even though there is a certain zen and open-mindedness weed can bring, and in a lot of ways it is less detrimental than alcohol, it can make depression worse in the long run, especially if you are going through withdrawal, and some low-grade psychosis, but that’s inherent in its nature.

I have two schizophrenic relatives, the odds aren’t high for me but rather be safe than sorry so I’m going easier on it for a few years. There are things I need to accomplish anyway and going dry is a challenge I need to give myself.

To add something else for consideration, it’s a substance that heavily reinforces patterns, and I haven’t really ruled out the possibility that since a lot of the time I was using it was accompanied with shitty attitude toward myself and interactions with women, that giving it a kick for awhile and building some new patterns might be an idea. Just some food for thought.


Fair enough, good for you I suppose. I will say in weed’s defence though that there are times in your life when getting high as fuck is the best possible solution. You’re right though, sooner or later you’ve got to stop getting stoned and actually do something with your life.


Those times when that is the solution are the times that you have exhausted all other options, nothing makes sense, your life sucks at the moment yet there is nothing you can do about it in the moment, and the best option is to spark one. I’m sometimes high at work but only do it after I have learned the job pretty darn well and it’s mostly just muscle memory and enduring the long hours.

In that regard I’ve started using it more conditionally and less out of habit, either for a reason or as a reward once in awhile. The tolerance build-up after a period of abstinence is also nice


True. Mind you, the last time I got high at work I ended up carrying a full wheelbarrow of concrete in my arms like a baby for no apparent reason, my brain not being able to work out any other way of getting it down to ground level at the time.


Meh, I found weed good to be used occasionally and responsibly, and not as some kind of escape from life/personal issues/whatelse. It’s a recreative tool, like beer and wine, to be used once in a while on your free time to get some fun.
I noticed that used regularly (even in low quantities) it tends to kill productivity on the long run, which is the number one drawback for both work and gym.


I can’t write much now, but I’d like to add that you likely can’t find a mate because you’re too goddamn complicated! And I say this in a man-to-man way, not to bash you.

Again, you’re too complicated! And this is likely why you have chicks saying you’re creepy, even if you’re normal.


That’s one of the reasons I smoke pot. You think less, live more. I admit to being a chronic overthinker and sometimes doing the opposite of that is the best solution. I’ve identified it in myself