T Nation

Just Lost My Virginity at 23


If I am not for myself who is for me?
And being for my own self, what am I?
If not now, when?

–Hillel the Elder, who was presumably unconcerned about other people’s assumptions re: his genitals


you’re right; you’re not particularly good looking. Not hideous, but not good looking.

So think about it like this: given you’re not good looking enough to get girls that way, is whiny and self-deprecating really the way you want to go?


I needed you to say that because my confidence was getting too high. i need a reason to hate myself. if i’m not good looking, why bother? i guess i’m just not meant to get them that way

(not entirely serious tbh, obviously i am good looking enough to get laid period, i’m just feeling especially shitty today and wondering what you need to look like to guarantee getting them ‘that way’)


lots of ugly people get laid. It’s usually down to one of three things:


I suggest you pick whichever one of those will be the easiest for you and work your ass off at it.


i’ll probably work at charisma. if i have to obsess about being the best looking guy that is a weakness in and of itself

although rejection based off appearance hurts like a bitch. i feel like absolute shit


It gets easier. Trust me. The trick is to ask out so many chicks that eventually rejection just bounces off. When I get knocked back by a girl now I smile, say something witty and take it like a man. If you’re cool about it, she’ll remember that. I’ve been rejected by girls and been nice about it, then when I bumped into them a few years down the line it was a different story.

So get asking chicks out. As many as you can, anywhere you can. And I’m not just talking about bars. Strike up conversations anytime, anywhere.

Everyone gets rejected based on looks sometimes. Everyone. Not everyone is going to be attracted to everyone else and that’s a good thing otherwise the world would be one big constant orgy and we’d all die from AIDS.




Go get a sales job. I’m not joking. They will teach you how to approach people, how to have a positive mental attitude and how to deal with rejection and negativity. From others and yourself.

You sound depressed. Like for real clinically depressed. Everyone deals with it differently. Some guys will tell you to suck it up and take it out on the weights. That works for me. Some people use counseling and drugs. Just fix it. Society at large and women especially have no use for depressed men.



I always thought i wasnt even THAT bad looking. guess i was wrong

EDIT: after reading that article, IF it is true, fuck it. there are things that matter more than looking like the cover of GQ


No, considering having sex regularly won’t do anything in raising T.


No to what?


Having sex regularly doesn’t raise T. So that’s not why you’re losing hair.


Good to know. Irrelevant though because it doesn’t seem regular sex is in the cards for awhile. I predict another dry spell unless i can change into Brian Blessed overnight


Please get psychiatric help. Talk to a counselor, life coach, someone that you will respect enough to listen to.

Theses message boards are great for people who need general advice, you’ve proven you need more. If this continues, you’ll end up getting flamed. (I’m under the impression this is what you desire, in a self-defeating masochistic way)


it’s not. rest assured of that. peace out, sorry to bother


Well shit, just to chime in a lil. I often tell people in a semi joking manner…

Thank god I ain’t good looking/talented in any way, it wouldn’t be fair all them other guys out there.

Good looking = things will be too easy, duh
Musically talented = imagine me serenading them bitches in song, how laid will I get then?
Good at sports = jocks get laid so…
Academically inclined = intelligence is sexy I guess haha

Oh and since I read something bout rejection due to being ugly…
WHO CARES?! You didn’t get to choose your face, just like how you don’t get to choose your height/dick length etc. Just have the attitude of “I’ll just work with what I have.”


That’s fine, but I just need to be aware that being a 3 instead of a 9 will mean one of 2 things:

  • I will have a lot less luck finding a girl
  • I willl have decent luck but she will be ugly

I can’t fight the numbers


complaining about how hard it will be for you to get girls will not make it any easier for you to get girls


Yeah you can buddy. I don’t think this is good advice but in this case, it might help. First off, get professional psychological help. Second off, aka the no so good advice, maybe read up about the pick up artist community and shit like that. Whatever you may think about their ethics, their methods sure seem to work.

I’ve watched this before, can’t say I 100% agree with it but I do see it’s merits.


I don’t need psychological help, it’s not abnormal psychology. It’s just insane depression and anger due to a miserable life and living compounded by sexual frustration, loneliness, self hatred and hatred of everything, which is why sometimes i want to become like zach de la rocca and scream in a band about hatred and the unjustice of the world.

The reason i complain about how hard it seems to get girls on here is so i don’t have to do it IRL and betray my inner hatred and dissatisfaction with life. The reason i write it seems is because I don’t think it’s hard, I just think I’m doing something wrong. Either the stars aren’t aligned, I’m too ugly, she’s on a phase of her period where she needs a different type of guy than I or I do in fact just suck.

Having had sex once honestly doesn’t make me feel any better, it just proves not only is it difficult to me to score, it is hard to get a sustainable thing going being the sunbitch i am.

I’m not even bad at interacting with women, I have enough charisma at this point to at least come off as not a needy, whining pussy. I save that side of me for the internet. But there’s always this dynamic that comes into play where I feel like they’d rather have Mr. 180 lb jock in them rather than I, and that sheer force of gravity makes me fall to the bottom of the barrel.