You know, I always thought of myself as a good natured, well mannered, civilized human being. But, sometimes I long for the laws of the jungle. Justice was accurate, precise and most importantly; it was mercifully swift. If you were not keeping up with the pack or strong enough to fend for yourself, you suffered the consequences. And more to the point, if you stepped into a lions territory you had better be prepared for the retaliation because in the jungle there are no cops. There are no EMT’s standing by; if you fucked with the wrong bull, your last meal was a two pronged calcium fortified t-bone. I too am an animal; and tonight I have been denied my instinctual desire to whip some ass. Instead, I am typing this ridiculous excuse for preverbial exaltion of my need to fuck someone up.
It would be best if I started at the beginning. I grew up in the US. Been lifting and competing in sports all my life. I lift until I puke, then I lift some more. I sprint until I hurl, then I sprint somemore. I’ve kicked heavy bags till my shins were bruised; punched walls barefisted cause it felt good and relished the taste of my own blood in battle. But, those are my yesteryears.
Now I live in Sweden; the land of moderation. The spine has been replaced with social standards of conduct. Gone are the days of settling your differences right then and there. In fact, people here don’t settle their differences at all. They merely ignore them and hope they will just go away.
I’m here because I met a wonderful swedish woman and longed for the land that produced her. I longed for the Viking spirit, that unbridled and raw human desire to explore, discover, and conquer. The freedom to reach your heights without the self-imposed restraints of modern society. Instead, I have landed in a place that deplores individualism and exaults mediocrity.
Normally, none of that matters. I don’t need to rich and famous. I like to be anonymous and unknown. But, I DO NOT like to be bullied and can find no rational explanation for allowing its sustinance. It pulls at every fiber of my being when I experience even the slightest bit of said behaviour especially through others. I have always acted according to my conscience even at my own risk.
But, I live in Sweden now and apartments are like the beauty that caught my eye. RARE, RARE, RARE. Once a good one is found it is to be coddled with a delicate firmness that would make Faberge’ proud. We have one of those apartments, not too big; not too small; just right. The only thorn on this stem is the tenant below us. Every weekend is party time, with god-awful dance music containing a monotonous drone that scrapes my marrow. I normally ignore it like all the other Swedes but not tonight. My 4 month old was not happy and there is something about a crying baby that makes you see things in a different light, mainly RED. So, I politely knocked on the door and a lovely woman answered. I explained the problem and was assured that it would be taken care off. Great! No worries. WRONG…in fact I think it was even louder now. My wife sensed the tension and simply asked me to forget about the music and just come to bed. If I were content swimming in mediocrity I would have gone to bed. But, I’m not!!!
Damnit, I’m a man and I’ll be damned if some asshat is gonna keep me up at night. So, I marched right on downstairs again, this time the door was open. I made my presence known and was greeted with a FUCK YOU. This is where time stopped. This is where my ‘modern man and his guidelines’ part of my brain revealed itself. Instead of marching across the room and tossing that drunk faggot on his ear, I hesitated. Then like a raging river after rainy season I was flooded with the ‘what ifs’. And it was over. My dream that is.
My desire to be a pillar of strength, an example of manhood at its finest was no more. I had traded my most valuable commodity, my unbridled desire to remain true to my soul, for that nice apartment and the comforts of mediocrity. I did of course offer the tenant the chance to assault me so I could claim self-defense after I pummeled him but he declined the offer. I concluded the meeting with the finger and some stupid explicative directed more at myself for not finishing what I started.
You see, people like him will never actually do anything themselves. They are the minions of that evil void that longs to squash mankind and his fortitude. They inflict their harm by hiding behind the rules of society. Modern man is forced to fight his battles on civilized grounds, following unnatural laws. So, I am here writing in earnest to my brothers-in-arms in the hopes that I am alone in my defeat here in the land of mediocrity. I long for the day that I can once again return to the battlefield and loose the chains of the modern man. Until that time, my rage is focused on reaching a 300kg deadlift.
Tonight I have come face to face with that dark and menacing void of mediocrity and watched its fangs sink into my soul. I was amazed at how quickly it can take over your strength if you allow even the slightest amount of hesitation or doubt. I know my enemy now. And I must follow a new set of rules in order to defeat him.
I’m pretty sure that those rules allow a waking time of 8:00 on Sundays and its been a while since I practiced my dribbling skills. Ahhh…the sigh of relief. Just like any animal, if you kick them in the balls they’ll let go.
Time for some rest now cause its gonna be a long morning. Good night T-Nation, sleep tight and don’t let the…