I thought I had killed it, but this damn thread just dragged me back in for another go.
At an eminent and prestigious wine merchant’s establishment, the regular taster had died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. He put a sign in the shop window. An old man who appeared drunk, with a ragged dirty look, came to apply for the position. The director was impatient with this smelly intrusion in his office, and wondered how to send him away. He called in his beautiful blond assistant to witness the proceedings.
He gave the ragged man a glass of randomly chosen wine to drink.
The drunk man tasted it, swirled the wine over his tongue and said:
"It’s a Muscat , three years old, grown on a north slope, South West France, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.?
“Amazing! That is correct,” said the boss.
Another glass…
“It’s a Cabernet Sauvignon,” said the drunk, “but from Chile, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
Astounded, the director blurted out, glancing over at his blond assistant, “That is correct!”
A third glass…
‘‘It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, from the central Alsace region, very, very high grade and exclusive,’’ the drunk said calmly.
The director was astonished.
He decided to play a trick on the drunk, not believing such accuracy was possible, he winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something else that looked like wine.
She left the room, and after a few minutes came back in with a glass of urine and handed it to the ragged man.
He put it to his nose, sniffed it, swirled it, let his tongue touch the brim of the glass, then said, “It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant - and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”