Read this on Facebook. Thought it was funny.
Stumbled upon this and lold. no cliffs, enjoy.
"Who gave Jimmy The Sexor? You did?? Real Talk???
Why am I the only one laughin at that? Is it because you have no idea what I’m talking about? IS it the same feeling when Sarah Palin steps up to the mic? She may be the cutest lil soccer mom in the world but she is actuallys evil. Thats not coming from me thats coming from the cute little hooters girl who was lighting up these poor little 18 year old boys with underdeveloped mustaches.
Does anyone actually go to hooters for the girls? That answer is no. I mean this with the utmost sincereity that they’re wings are so gooood! I think its the breadedness made with extra love.
Now do you get it? You dont? Are you having that awkward/intrigued feeling like when your looking at porn while your parents are in the next room? By the way, Ive never done that, thats not coming from me either…and no thats not coming from the hooters girl who served us hose delicious breaded wings with a side of love after she lit up those poor mushtacheless(ish) boys.
No, and against popular belief its not coming from John McCains old ass either. Although that would be funny. That man is adorable. Almost as adorable as Bush was before we elected his crazy ass again. It doesnt help that the slogan “John McCain more of the same” rhymes…am I right?? Have you caught on to what Im talking about? Still not yet? well its my choice to have the right to reserve to tell you.
Its my choice to choose what I want to do. Its my note…which is similar to my uterus. Now I dont have a uterus but Im pretty sure alot of girls do, excluding Hillary Clinton…WHAT?? Im sorry that lady’s gotta have balls in those pants I mean come on!! i digress…what was I talking about? women’s uterus’s or uterii as they say in Bio 301…point being I think pro choice is pretty cool.
Palin thinks pro choice should be illegal even in the act of incest or rape…but she says its her 17 year olds daughter choice to have her child or not. OHH does someone hear a flip flopper?? I think I do. Am I pissing anyone off yet? Are you having that feeling you get when that ******* on the road cuts you off? Your like “DICK!!” but really your like “eh whatever”.
This is not a note about politics it just so happens I could a hundred honest jokes about the stupid shit McCain and Palin say. what? Dont believe me? true story after this sentence. Homeboy asks Palin about her thoughts on the Bush Doctrine, she replys “In what regards Charlie?” Homeboy named Charlie asks the question again and she then replys with Well its his world view"
Let me learn you really quick…The Bush Doctrine was made after 9/11 giving America the riht to invade ANY country because of terrorism. Mrs. Palin didnt know that. I know some of you are saying, well I didnt know that either. and thats ok…your not running for Vice President!! Am I still the only one laughing?
What do I gotz on McCain you ask? he’s on The View, a popular show with host by Whoopie Goldberg…I didnt know she was still alive either but I guess it was just her carrer that was shot…hahaha ok…woops…sorry…anyway. Mr McCain was there on that show and he ws asked if the constitution should be changed. He said “no, I feel the constitution should stay how it is…”
Whoopie comes back and slap him with some blackness and says "Well then if your electe should I be worried about being a slave again. I was uncomfortable listening to that from youtube in the comfort of my pajamas (with the feet) in my house…To McCains defense he swallowed his tongue and accidently sucked up his last nut and said “well you make a good point.” Whoopie pretended he said “Well you made a good movie.” And they were COO…if you will.
Do you get it now? DO you have a clue? This is about Jimmy or him receiving the preverbial Sexor. Jimmy didnt really need the sexor or deserve the sexor. But “you” gave it to him and now he has the sexor and everyone is in troouble with the sexor in his hands. Is this a metaphor saying dont give McCain the sexor…or presidency…because he doesnt deserve it? No.
Im saying you have the choice as to who is given the sexor. Just like that crazy hooters girl had th choice to light up those little boys with no mustaches, just like you have the choice to look at porn, just like you have the choice to keep your fertal babyin your uterii or not. Was that last sentence a run n Dr. K I never remember sorry??? Not voting is not the right choice.
Be a voter. Be an educated voter. Watch CNN for unbiased opinions, finding websites who are unbiased is a google click away, ad watch the debates. You will know who to choose. And you will vote. You dont need me to tell you that McCains tax cuts are only for the people making $300k and oil companys. I dont need to tell you that.
I dont need to tell you that Obama, whose name Im sure some people were wondering was going to come up, will end America’s dependency on oil and lead us into the future to bio fuel. I dont need to tell you that by doing so it will add hundreds of new jobs. And I wont tell you anymore crp thats coming out of the evil Palins mouth. Seriously…I wont. If you havent heard by now then your just not paying attention.
Be an educated voter. And give the right Jimmy the sexor. Real talk.