T Nation

Jessica and John


Whenever someone asks me if I could have sex with any celebrity in the world who would it be I reply, “Jessica Simpson!”

As crazy as I am I once in a while fantasized it might become a reality after I found out she and Nick got a divorce.

Now that I see the pencil-neck geek she’s shacking up with I know anything’s possible.

I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.

No interest.

This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. :wink:

[quote]Damici wrote:
I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.
[/quote]

Well, at least you’re looking at the bright side of things.

Yup, and those are the only GOOD things I have to say about her. :wink:

:slight_smile:

[quote]rrjc5488 wrote:
Damici wrote:
I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.

Well, at least you’re looking at the bright side of things.[/quote]

[quote]wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. ;)[/quote]

Guitar does seem to work…and the more annoying and sappy the song, usually the better it works. hahah

[quote]Plisskin wrote:
wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. :wink:

Guitar does seem to work…and the more annoying and sappy the song, usually the better it works. hahah[/quote]

I have wasted my life.

[quote]Damici wrote:
I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.

No interest.
[/quote]

Supposedly she has zero sex drive. None. Her last husband cheated on her, or so I was told, because they only had sex three times during the entire time they were married.

I would take a skank over the frigid bitch any day of the week.

I only find her attractive about half the time I see her on TV.

Her pouty lower lip in annoying, and she looks retarded when she tries to sing (except one of her first videos when she was singing to that young, wannabe rapper kid, she keps saying “irresistable”, so maybe that was the name of the song).

Nobody compares to Alyssa Milano.

meh, I usually only find her attractive til she opens her mouth and says something

[quote]wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. ;)[/quote]

Not entirely true pal, you’re lifting weights to get girls that’s into guys who looks like they lift and you play guitar to get girls who’s into musicians. Now you need to put on a belly for girls who’s into bellies, think you can juggle all that?

Oh, come on, don’t diss John Mayer like that. He’s possibly the best guitarist to come out of the past 5 years. Don’t let the chick songs fool you, he’s the only guy that has a chance to bring back the blues to the new generation. That and he went to the Berklee college of music.

But he is going around with Jessica Simpson. That’s a mistake.

They’ve supposedly already broken up:

[quote]etaco wrote:
Damici wrote:
I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.

No interest.

Supposedly she has zero sex drive. None. Her last husband cheated on her, or so I was told, because they only had sex three times during the entire time they were married.

I would take a skank over the frigid bitch any day of the week.[/quote]

Wow, say it ain’t so. Nick must have been beating the shit out of his dick. To have Jessica Simpson and not be able to bump uglies with her… what is this world comming to?

[quote]Go heavy fool wrote:
etaco wrote:
Damici wrote:
I guaran-damn-tee she would be the worst, lamest, whiniest, deadest fuck of them all. Bar none.

No interest.

Supposedly she has zero sex drive. None. Her last husband cheated on her, or so I was told, because they only had sex three times during the entire time they were married.

I would take a skank over the frigid bitch any day of the week.

Wow, say it ain’t so. Nick must have been beating the shit out of his dick. To have Jessica Simpson and not be able to bump uglies with her… what is this world comming to?
[/quote]

Nick could be the next Bachelor. And, all of a sudden, Jessica would start to have the hots for him again. And Nick would have to say no. Guaranteed entertainement.

In a Guitar Magazine interview that I read he said he was (I am not exactly quoting him) “past the solo blues thing.” I liked him simply because he was influenced by SRV but he claimed he was beyond that. No more John Mayer No More

Edited to correct drunkeness

[quote]nephorm wrote:
Plisskin wrote:
wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. :wink:

Guitar does seem to work…and the more annoying and sappy the song, usually the better it works. hahah

I have wasted my life.[/quote]

hah!

[quote]oriensus wrote:
wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. :wink:

Not entirely true pal, you’re lifting weights to get girls that’s into guys who looks like they lift and you play guitar to get girls who’s into musicians. Now you need to put on a belly for girls who’s into bellies, think you can juggle all that?

[/quote]

All girls like musicians. It’s encoded into their DNA. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t find the fact that I play guitar very sexy. And for that uncommon lass who’s into classical music, I’m actually much better at piano.

Most girls don’t seem to understand dedication to healthy eating and lifting though. Sure they like the physique (and that doesn’t even hold for the really big guys), but not the lifestyle. And apparently they’re just as happy with all 110 lbs. of John Mayer.

[quote]wfifer wrote:
oriensus wrote:
wfifer wrote:
This is why weightlifting to get girls is stupid. I lift weights for myself; I play guitar for the chicks. :wink:

Not entirely true pal, you’re lifting weights to get girls that’s into guys who looks like they lift and you play guitar to get girls who’s into musicians. Now you need to put on a belly for girls who’s into bellies, think you can juggle all that?

All girls like musicians. It’s encoded into their DNA. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t find the fact that I play guitar very sexy. And for that uncommon lass who’s into classical music, I’m actually much better at piano.

Most girls don’t seem to understand dedication to healthy eating and lifting though. Sure they like the physique (and that doesn’t even hold for the really big guys), but not the lifestyle. And apparently they’re just as happy with all 110 lbs. of John Mayer.
[/quote]

Yeah, most unathletic girls do.
to be honest, if a guy played a sappy song for me, Id be ignoring him and playing video games.
Or Id look at him as if he were crazy, if he had my attention
If he was desperately trying to impress me with his musical talents Id probably sit there with him and then compliment him on whatever and smile a lot, trying to not seem fake, which almost everybody can see through when I attempt to do so.
Im probably not meant for a musical kind of guy :wink:
Oh well.
Anyways, REALLY dont like that Mayer guy.

A girl who lifts weights and can kick my ass in Street Fighter, now that’s something. I think it’s safe to say that you’re a rare breed and an exception to the rule. Actually, the first thing I taught myself on the guitar was the Super Mario Bros theme. Half the stuff I play is either The Black Mages or Yasunori Mitsuda. I can be such a dork, haha.