T Nation

Jeopardy Tryouts


#1

So, after being shamed into it by my father (fuck you, Dad), I am going to be trying out for Jeopardy this January. Has anyone here ever tried out before and if so, what is the process like? What can I expect? I registered for the tryout through the official Jeopardy site and I have to go to some tryout in Sacramento on the 19th. Is this like a simulated episode and if it is, should I bring some cocaine to bribe Alex Drabek with? Do the contestants all stay in the same place, thereby giving me the opportunity to drug the other competitors beforehand?


#2

I recommend bringing a huge tray of pot brownies for everyone.


#3

Got it. I also plan on having several friends sit in the audience armed with blowdart guns. If I make it on, you'll know it's me because I plan on using the initials D.B. even though they aren't really my initials, and I'll also be wearing a Mandarin collar and a paisley ascot. I'll also be the one rolling my eyeballs into the back of my skull after each correct answer, of which there will be many. Hopefully.


#4

I would try and read as much of the encyclopedia britannica as possible.....


#5

Yeah, I seriously need to concentrate on a few areas in particular: chemistry, anything having to do with the opera or ballet or classical music, national parks not located in the U.S. and math.


#6

Feast on the brain stem of the Mormon Prophet Ken Jennings


#7

What is: a paradox?

Mormons don't have brain stems.


#8

I thought they let the contestants know what the categories will be beforehand?


#9

Once you buzz in you're allotted a very short amount of time to field an answer.

Jeopardy isn't T-Nation. You can't answer with a wall of text.


#10

Dude

You have to plug RAPEAXE

And say who is Rockula, the undead superstar...The brinder of hardcore to the WWE

Gimme a promo


#11

Go exocist withit


#12

They do? Are you talking about the tryouts or the actual, televised show?

By the way, I really am serious about this tryout. From what I understand, the show is taped a day or two before it airs, so I'll post on here when the episode will be on, unless I get annihilated. If the categories are modern American literature, the front squat, Rock's Greatest Drummers, Methods of Rape, MLB, NFL, Sex and the Male Animal, and Cocaine In All Its Glory and Splendor I should clean up nicely.


#13

Ha. Ha. Ha.


#14

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#15

I am required to insult DB at least once in every one of our conversations as per our agreement in the MLB thread.


#16

Push, what the fuck kind of post is that?

I mean this with all due respect and shit....


#17

If I get on the show and I have absolutely no clue what the Final Jeopardy answer is I'm DEFINITELY going to write down "what is RAPEAXE?????????????????"


#18

This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden.


#19

The only agreement I ever remember coming to with you in that thread is that you shall acquiesce to me and my opinions regarding anything related to baseball since I played it for almost two decades and you simply watch the Blue Jays and whatever's on ESPN Sunday Night Baseball, meaning that your knowledge is simply a regurgitation of whatever Orel Hershiser and Bobby Valentine and Joe Morgan and Jon Miller have said throughout the years each Sunday night at 8pm Eastern Time (6pm Central).

Actually, I do remember an agreement about walls of text. It's something along the lines of "I refuse to read a wall of text=RajRaj's reading comprehension skills are seriously lacking and it would be considerate if DB Cooper could use mono-syllabic words and texting abbreviations whenever directly addressing anything that RajRaj says so that there is some remote possibility that he and DB Cooper can carry on a conversation about baseball on a level that RajRaj can understand."


#20

One other thing: when they have the part of the show where Drabek asks each contestant a little something about themselves, I'm going to say that I rip stop signs out of the ground in my spare time. Either that or I'll tell him about the time squirrels laid eggs in my house. And any question about 16th century women will be answered with "what is: RogueVampire?"