Not sure if anyone here is a reader of SomethingAwful, but today the article featured expelled Congressman Traficant and some of his quotes. The guy’s a laugh riot.
“I will take with me a file, a chisel, a knife, I will try and get some major explosives, try to fight my way out,” Traficant said of the possibility of his incarceration.
“And then when I get out I will grab a sword like Maximus Meridius Demidius and as a Gladiator I will stab people in the crotch.”
“If you don’t get those cameras out of my face, I’m gonna go 8.6 on the Richter scale with gastric emissions that’ll clear this room!”
" Mr. Speaker, as a former athlete, I thought I saw it all. Great celebrations after grand slams and Hail Marys. But this time it has gone too far.
News reports say after a game-winning goal at a soccer match in Spain, a player celebrated his teammate who scored by biting him on the genitals. Beam me up. Now I have heard of high fives, back slaps, butt slaps, but this takes the family jewels. The team says the player is doing fine, but I suspect he will speak from here on in like a soprano. This is going a little too far. I yield back what has now become known as ``The Big Bite.'' "
" Unbelievable. These fat cats should not be rewarded, they should be fired. Throw these bums out. Beam me up. I yield back the fact that they should hire a proctologist to perform a brain scan on that Federal judge who is somewhere in Disney World."