Here’s a short scary story.
I started kidnapping homeless people. I lock them in my bombshelter with no food or water. I put a .357 Magnum and one bullet down there and I watch them through a closed circuit TV monitor, waiting to see how hungry they’ll really get. I lost my cellphone two days ago. Last week I stabbed a vegetarian to death. I repeatedly stabbed him in the face with a spoon until he stopped struggling long enough for me to tie him down, then I used a meat-carving knife to take small slices out of him while he was still conscious. I ate the pieces in front of him, laughing maniacally at the absurdly ironic nature of the whole affair. I missed the season finale of The Hills. A few days ago I stole my neighbors new puppy and slit its fucking throat. When my neighbors came over to see if I had spotted the thing, I told them I had not, then offered them some barbecued pieces of the dogs brains and liver. I told them it was an authentic dish that my Burmese girlfriend (who is currently hanging upside by her big toes in my closet) cooked up. I suspect they’re onto me so I wired their entire home with plastic explosives. I plan on detonating them on Christmas morning. My internet connection has been down for more than two days and I am alone, cut off from the civilized world. I do not have my own reality TV show, so I took this frustration out on a small child who was walking home from school earlier today. I bashed his brains in with a RockBand guitar and videotaped the whole thing. In the morning, I will mail the video to his parents and classmates, wrapped up like a Christmas gift. I spilled blood on my Ed Hardy t-shirt and I cannot afford another one. I have begun putting rat poison and eyedrops into the children’s medicine at the store…[/quote]
Do something useful with your time instead. For fuck’s sake…
You mean like start a magazine about the lives of interesting people?