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Starts from the ground up. My uncle’s son started down the drugs path but my uncle soon straightened him up, literally. In Europe shit like this rarely slides because most European families stay close even when kids get into their late 20s. At the end of the day it’s about family and friends. Don’t even get me started on Asia.

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Starts from the ground up. My uncle’s son started down the drugs path but my uncle soon straightened him up, literally. In Europe shit like this rarely slides because most European families stay close even when kids get into their late 20s. At the end of the day it’s about family and friends. …
[/quote]

See, now this is the kind of thing that will intensify unwarranted guilt feelings in people such as the OP, and drive them straight into the arms of the twelve-step cults where they will find a type of relief.

In the USA and Canada we do not have the cultural and legal or extra-legal support for families and friends to strong-arm young adults off of drugs. Even strong-arming drugging teenagers will usually put the families and friends into hot water, which will then make the drugging teenager feel empowered in a bad way. (Even in a more favorable cultural milieu, I would think that strong-arming would rarely work if the drug-user is already deep into the drugs.)

OP, don’t listen to the above poster at all.

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Wow, thank you for all your responses. I apologize for my absence.

A small update. I received an email from my mom today saying that police showed up at the house in the early AM. A friend of my sisters had been talking to her at the time and had called police because my sister had mentioned yet again, that she was going to take her life.

She was not taken into 24 hour suicide watch but my parents were strongly advised to take her to a doctor.

I do not know if this has happened yet.

[quote]undoredo wrote:

[quote]Gettnitdone wrote:
Starts from the ground up. My uncle’s son started down the drugs path but my uncle soon straightened him up, literally. In Europe shit like this rarely slides because most European families stay close even when kids get into their late 20s. At the end of the day it’s about family and friends. …
[/quote]

See, now this is the kind of thing that will intensify unwarranted guilt feelings in people such as the OP, and drive them straight into the arms of the twelve-step cults where they will find a type of relief.

In the USA and Canada we do not have the cultural and legal or extra-legal support for families and friends to strong-arm young adults off of drugs. Even strong-arming drugging teenagers will usually put the families and friends into hot water, which will then make the drugging teenager feel empowered in a bad way. (Even in a more favorable cultural milieu, I would think that strong-arming would rarely work if the drug-user is already deep into the drugs.)

OP, don’t listen to the above poster at all.[/quote]

Haha well isn’t it interesting that i’m 1st generation Canadian and my parents are from Czech Republic. Regardless of their old fashioned morals and way of life this has still happened and the biggest enablers are my parents.

[quote]imhungry wrote:

[quote]jchenky wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
Jen, my niece has been an addict since she was 12, and she’ll be 29 in another month. She’ll be celebrating her birthday in a jail cell. So, I can relate a little :slight_smile:

I’ll post more details when I get to work this afternoon.[/quote]

Wow, I’ll wait for you to return. [/quote]

I’ll spare you any personal details about niece, unless you have any questions, of course…

Anyway, what my family and myself have learned from her:

  1. She is an amazing liar and manipulator. She will tell you everything you want to hear, just so she’ll get what she wants.

  2. “Hope” is cruel, in that every time she said that she wanted to get better and go to rehab, you hope that it will happen “this time”…but it doesn’t. Until, things get so bad again and she seeks help…again… then, nothing happens. Or, it gets worse.

We’re to the point that nobody gives her anything and is pretty much numb. To be honest, it’s almost a relief to feel this way. But, there’s been a lot of pain and heartache until then.

There’s not a whole lot you or your family can do, until SHE is TRULY is ready to get clean, Jen. It’s a brutal process, so I sincerely hope your sister seeks help and stays clean.[/quote]

Thanks for posting, it means a lot to me.

I completely understand the numb feeling. When i first learned of her issues many years ago I was a mess. I learn more and more now about the things she has done and doing and I’m no longer surprised. I no longer cry. I think that is why I’m so bothered by everything. I look at myself and wonder why i’m not more upset. I’m completely numb to everything. I cannot believe anything that she says.

She knows how she is and what she is doing is ruining her life and affecting her family. I think that is what gets her to go to rehab and meetings etc. However, that is her trying to get better for my family… not herself. Until the time comes that she finally hits rock bottom is the time that she will get better. The question is if she will make it.

One of the biggest issues here is my parents. They still allow her to live at home. Rehab was arranged and my mother took my sister shopping for toiletries, new slippers etc for her time in rehab! While my sister was in rehab and my mom decided she would repaint and clean my sisters room!

I stopped in to pick up some Z-12 and you kids get all heavy on me.

J, forget about your sister. She will do nothing but cause you pain. Try to remember that she doesn’t give a fuck about you right now, which should help assuage any feelings of guilt you may experience. Try to understand that the girl you remember may not be the same girl she is now, and that, more importantly, she may not be coming back.

Addicts come in two basic varieties: lost and broken. The former category can and should be helped, and will do everything they can to help themselves. The latter category should be avoided and forgotten, unless you have a thing for feeling unpleasant.

A lot of junkies are enamored with the lifestyle; these people tend not to change. Your sister followed the script pretty well, and it’s unlikely you can do anything to change that. The girls that get with sleazy older guys at rehab are usually past saving. It’s the sort of line that, once crossed, says ‘This is who I am now’.

Al-anon will probably just make you more miserable. Twelve step is very culty, but some people like it. If you’re not an addict yourself, you’ll probably just feel dirty and strange there, and develop a healthy disdain for the others in the room, all of which, you will realize, are even more fucked up than you are.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to step away. From all of it. A healthy person has no business infiltrating the seedier side of life. Gazing into the abyss, and all that.

Stay frosty, kids.

[quote]jchenky wrote:
Wow, thank you for all your responses. I apologize for my absence.

A small update. I received an email from my mom today saying that police showed up at the house in the early AM. A friend of my sisters had been talking to her at the time and had called police because my sister had mentioned yet again, that she was going to take her life.

She was not taken into 24 hour suicide watch but my parents were strongly advised to take her to a doctor.

I do not know if this has happened yet.

[/quote]

Sorry to hear about your sister. I know from first hand it is. Hope things work out for you and your sister.