T Nation

It`s Finally Happened!! :(


#1

Hey there gang. Bad weekend :frowning: On thursday me and my Girlfriend finally split up. It has really hurt me, and because of this i went on a drinking binge on Thursday and Saturday and some again last night! And i mean a lot of drink. I also havent been eating, and since thursday i have lost over 7lb's. I have tryed to do some excersise, so i went biking on Fri/Sat/Mon and done around 30 - 40 miles each day. I have lost all motivation to go to the gym at the moment because of this, and it is such a shame, as i was in a really good routine. Can someone advise me what to do, i am just not hungry and the thought of eating at the moment makes me feel sick. Also my stress levels are throught the roof..and i think it`s mainly because of that, that i have lost the weight. Would you reccomend this as a good time to maybe take a week of weight lifting ? or shall i just hit it the best i can. Or should i carry on biking lots (good chance to get some Cardio in i suppose) or what. I am really distrought..hence this long..prolly crap post...please advice...thanks in advance. Paul Govier


#2

Preoccupy yourself.


#3

Sorry to hear that. My 2 cents...take the week off, don't drink more than absolutely necessary, exercise to whatever degree you feel motivated and deal with whatever emotional crap you need to so you can get your life back on track. I don't have any idea what the story behind this is but it obviously pains you a great deal and when you're in such a state, you may be more likely to lose concentration and injure yourself lifting. Just don't go into "mope" mode and not get jack shit done - work through it mentally/emotionally and when you need a break from that, tire yourself physically. Do what you can to come out the other side a better man.


#4

Find a good shoulder to cry on / pour your heart out to. Talking helps, even if it is not for advice, just for an ear.


DON'T listen to people who say 'just move on' You need a period to work things out in your head and grieve. If you don't take some time you will eventually HAVE to deal with it in the future and it can be more painful then.


Rebound relationships can be tempting, but can end up being more painful. Sleeping around will not get her out of your mind, it will just prolong things. And may make you feel worse sooner than later.


Treat yourself well. It took over 6 weeks for me to start eating because I was hungry. I had to decide what to eat and force myself to do so. In the middle of that period I had a craving for sushi, and though it was expensive I got some anyway because it was the first time I was hungry for anything. I then went back to not being hungry at all.


If the really bad feeligs last for longer than a week or so, or don't seem to be getting better make an appointment with a shrink. It's not 'un-manly' it's good to talk to someone who will just listen. If it's really bad they may have you try a few weeks of an anti-depressant, they can help just 'get over the hump' I never even filled the perscription, I was given two weeks of sample pills to try out and that was enough. I also got Ambien when I got the Prozac, it's a GREAT sleeping pill and it is amazing what a few nights of good solid sleep will do for your brain.


Repeat after me "I am a good person and I will get through this." It sounds dorky, but eventually you will begin to believe it and that is the start of actually getting through it.


You probably know this, but this is a great place to blow off some steam, most of us are pretty supportive.


#5

Hey man that sucks. Sorry to hear that. Similar thing happened to me about 6 months ago. Takes a while to get over it. Dont know the reasons for your break up, but my adivce would be similar to the others. keep your self occupied and get out as much as possible, stay with friends, so youre not alone. It will make things easier, trust me. The appetite and no motivation thing sucks too. I was like that for a week, then I said "the hell with this, its her loss". I really devoted some serious time to the gym, and with the help of a little mag-10 I gained 35 lbs. I was right too, it was her loss...she got screwed over hardcore by the guy she dumped me for. Then came crying back, hahahaha bich....youll make it through, just man up.


#6

Hey, buddy, condolences. ~karma~ & michelle are absolutely right, you have to allow the necessary time to work through this, painful as that may seem. It'll take 5 times as long to deal with if you bury it. Do you have a close mate? If so, tell him you're gonna need to lean on him big time for a couple of weeks. You need him to pull you forcefully out of the house & make you spill your guts. He's gonna bear with hearing you re-live your we had the best times stories over & over again until you start remembering some of those not so good times stories. Eventually you'll come to terms with the fact that you're strong & it's her loss. In the meantime, don't bottle it up, it'll only prolong the misery (and keep you from your training goals). Best of luck.


#7

It is imperitive that you get back in the gym now, and not for any other reason than it is a natural anti-depressent. Take advantage of this slump and spend as much time in teh gym as possible. I guarantee you that you won't be thinking of her half as much with the weights and testosterone flowing. I do this same thing for every breakup I go through, I always hit the weights harder, even overtraining, just to keep my mind off of it, and in the process it raises my spirits and I can tell myself how much better I am than her etc. Moping around is going to make it far worse dood, no matter how unmotivated you are GET BACK IN THE GYM AND STAY THERE NON STOP.


#8

Fuck it dude, you got off easy. You could have married her....Drink lots, don't drive though...Now is a good time to start smoking!