T Nation

Is This Girl Gone?

So last night I went out with this girl I’ve been messaging for just over a week. She asked me out, and suggested going to the cinema to watch Gone Girl. She was out at the time, so asked me to find a cinema and film times. I ended up booking the tickets so that we didn’t miss out on good seats, and I went a step further and reserved seats at a pizza restaurant (nothing too formal, but a nice place) as I also new she loved pizza. She seemed really pleased.

Everything went well - good conversation, good film, nice pizza, eye contact, blah, blah, blah… until we got back to her flat. She seemed really tired, and there was no way I was going to be persistent and potentially drive her away, but when we got to the door, I had a mental block. There was a short silence, she said that she was tired, and instead of coming straight out with what was in my head, the first thing that came out was “okay”, like I had subliminally asked permission to come in (not my intention btw), and been refused.

I thought to myself, “why the fuck did you just say that?”, and sensed a little confusion in her voice, as she repeated what I said. I quickly moved onto saying what I had originally intended, “I really enjoyed tonight. We should go out again sometime. Perhaps I’ll message you later in the week”. Something like that anyway, followed by a hug and kiss on the cheek, before she went inside.

She hasn’t directly hinted that she is in some way annoyed, but a response to an unrelated message this morning was a little short. I saw her in the gym today as well (unintentional). We did talk a bit, but the spark wasn’t there. Not quite sure what I was expecting though, after all, people are there to work out. However, she did come over and say bye before she left, holding my arm as she walked away, so that seemed positive.

I’ve been out of the game for a while, so I’m probably over-analysing, hence the long post, but I would like to keep things going.

The temptation is to ask her if I did upset her in some way, but on the other hand, I don’t want to bring it up if she has forgotten, or if it didn’t bother her. I’m just hoping it wasn’t enough to spoil the entire evening, as I don’t want to come across as “just another guy with his eyes on the prize”, if you know what I mean. That isn’t me.

If anyone has seen Gone Girl, you’ll understand why I don’t want to piss her off!

Thoughts anyone?

tl;dr - If you thought you’d annoyed a girl you went out with, and wanted a remedy, would you ask her, or let it go and hope for the best?

Do not ask her if you upset her in anyway. You only went out once. I say don’t text or call her for the next 3 or 4 days and see if she initiates contact with you.

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:
Do not ask her if you upset her in anyway. You only went out once. I say don’t text or call her for the next 3 or 4 days and see if she initiates contact with you. [/quote]

I’m leaning that way now.

[quote]James Brown wrote:

tl;dr - If you thought you’d annoyed a girl you went out with, and wanted a remedy, would you ask her, or let it go and hope for the best?[/quote]

Call her; do not text.

Say “Hey I think our date kind of sucked. I’d like a do-over, with more wine and less Ben Affleck. What are you doing Saturday night?”

She’ll either be busy washing her hair or she will be sucking your dick Saturday night.

This shit is not hard.

Women are the gatekeepers of sex; men are the gatekeepers of commitment. In the same way that you would question the value of a woman who throws herself at you sexually, women question the value of men who offer relationship support too quickly. Slow it down a bit. Make sure she is worth your commitment before you give it to her.

Ask her out again. If she says yes, shit is fine. If she says no, move on.

Who gives a fuck? Your best course of action is to make sure she sees you talking and flirting with another girl or two.

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Call her; do not text.

Say “Hey I think our date kind of sucked. I’d like a do-over, with more wine and less Ben Affleck. What are you doing Saturday night?”

She’ll either be busy washing her hair or she will be sucking your dick Saturday night.

This shit is not hard.[/quote]

The date did not suck, it was just one blip at the very end. I like your line though, and I might use some of it. Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that she wanted to go to the cinema, as I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much, which is (partly) why I booked the restaurant afterwards.

This weekend is a no-go, as she’s going to London. Hopefully I can at least talk to her beforehand, otherwise it’ll be several days before we have any contact, and I don’t want to pester her while she’s away.

Dude, just text her and see how she’s doing. Don’t overthink it.

If she likes you, she’ll be receptive. If she doesn’t, she won’t be.

send here a meme w/ some porn in the background that reads “sex after leg day”

[quote]James Brown wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Call her; do not text.

Say “Hey I think our date kind of sucked. I’d like a do-over, with more wine and less Ben Affleck. What are you doing Saturday night?”

She’ll either be busy washing her hair or she will be sucking your dick Saturday night.

This shit is not hard.[/quote]

The date did not suck, it was just one blip at the very end. I like your line though, and I might use some of it. Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that she wanted to go to the cinema, as I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much, which is (partly) why I booked the restaurant afterwards.

This weekend is a no-go, as she’s going to London. Hopefully I can at least talk to her beforehand, otherwise it’ll be several days before we have any contact, and I don’t want to pester her while she’s away.[/quote]

I’d still use the line, but since she’s going to London, that changes the math.

Don’t call her or bother her, in any way. Don’t wish her well. If she calls or texts, be friendly and open and see what happens.

She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.

Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]James Brown wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Call her; do not text.

Say “Hey I think our date kind of sucked. I’d like a do-over, with more wine and less Ben Affleck. What are you doing Saturday night?”

She’ll either be busy washing her hair or she will be sucking your dick Saturday night.

This shit is not hard.[/quote]

The date did not suck, it was just one blip at the very end. I like your line though, and I might use some of it. Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that she wanted to go to the cinema, as I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much, which is (partly) why I booked the restaurant afterwards.

This weekend is a no-go, as she’s going to London. Hopefully I can at least talk to her beforehand, otherwise it’ll be several days before we have any contact, and I don’t want to pester her while she’s away.[/quote]

I’d still use the line, but since she’s going to London, that changes the math.

Don’t call her or bother her, in any way. Don’t wish her well. If she calls or texts, be friendly and open and see what happens.

She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.

Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.[/quote]

Hahahahaahah

The problem is you didn’t get her in the mood. If you want to turn a girl on you need to be more suggestive. Don’t book a table at a pizzeria. Ask her if she likes sausages. Does she like big sausages? And I haven’t seen this movie you’re talking about but it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that will get her in the mood. Take a tip out Travis Bickle’s play book: Take her to a X-rated film. And remember the tongue trick in Scarface? Chicks love that shit.

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
The problem is you didn’t get her in the mood. If you want to turn a girl on you need to be more suggestive. Don’t book a table at a pizzeria. Ask her if she likes sausages. Does she like big sausages? And I haven’t seen this movie you’re talking about but it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that will get her in the mood. Take a tip out Travis Bickle’s play book: Take her to a X-rated film. And remember the tongue trick in Scarface? Chicks love that shit.[/quote]

Well, bugger me with a fish fork… I had no idea this is what girls really liked. I’ll give it a try, and let you know how I get on.

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

[quote]James Brown wrote:

[quote]thethirdruffian wrote:

Call her; do not text.

Say “Hey I think our date kind of sucked. I’d like a do-over, with more wine and less Ben Affleck. What are you doing Saturday night?”

She’ll either be busy washing her hair or she will be sucking your dick Saturday night.

This shit is not hard.[/quote]

The date did not suck, it was just one blip at the very end. I like your line though, and I might use some of it. Admittedly, I was a little disappointed that she wanted to go to the cinema, as I knew we wouldn’t be able to talk much, which is (partly) why I booked the restaurant afterwards.

This weekend is a no-go, as she’s going to London. Hopefully I can at least talk to her beforehand, otherwise it’ll be several days before we have any contact, and I don’t want to pester her while she’s away.[/quote]

I’d still use the line, but since she’s going to London, that changes the math.

Don’t call her or bother her, in any way. Don’t wish her well. If she calls or texts, be friendly and open and see what happens.

She is already mentally in London fucking a guy with a cockney accent and bad teeth. Hence why she is cold to you.

Chalk this one up to bad timing and move on.[/quote]
Seriously. Why do you need to talk to her before she goes to London for the weekend? Text or call her when she gets back and see how that goes.

What makes this particular girl so special?

[quote]James Brown wrote:

[quote]SexMachine wrote:
The problem is you didn’t get her in the mood. If you want to turn a girl on you need to be more suggestive. Don’t book a table at a pizzeria. Ask her if she likes sausages. Does she like big sausages? And I haven’t seen this movie you’re talking about but it doesn’t sound like the kind of thing that will get her in the mood. Take a tip out Travis Bickle’s play book: Take her to a X-rated film. And remember the tongue trick in Scarface? Chicks love that shit.[/quote]

Well, bugger me with a fish fork… I had no idea this is what girls really liked. I’ll give it a try, and let you know how I get on.
[/quote]

Cool, let us know how it works out. And also keep in mind it’s not all about sex. Girls need to know that you like them not just their bodies. What you should do is follow her around without her knowing; get to know her routine. Then one day surprise her and tell her you know where she lives and that you’ve been watching her. She’ll think this is really romantic. But they always play hard to get at this stage - you know, restraining orders, apprehended violence orders etc. Don’t let that throw you off. You just need to keep showing her you care. Be persistent. Never take “no” or “leave me alone creep” for an answer.

So to sum up: follow her; let her know you’ve been following her and that you know where she lives/works etc. Then sexually suggestive behaviour - maybe email her pictures of your penis. And when she starts playing hard to get that means she’s into you. Persistence will pay off.

You’re worried about how to program your bicep curls, whether you should superset triceps work in there and if you should hold your peak contraction for 2 seconds or 3 (BTW, 3 seconds or gtfo) when you need to focus on your rows and chins.

She probably had a great time and liked you. If she noticed anything, she probably thought it cute more than a disaster.

Just call up in a few days and organise another catch up in a week.

And FFS, kiss properly, none of this cheek stuff - I usually move right on if there is no first date kiss. Even if it goes poorly, sometimes a kiss can turn it all around.

Also, have quick hard core porn ready to access on your phone. Quick flash of some oral sex if it is really going poorly will put her straight back in the mood.

Call her, definitely call her.