T Nation

Is This a Big Deal?

Currently I have no friends what so ever and my 18th birthday is next week which ill probably be spending alone indoors.

I spent my last 2 birthdays like this and I feel I should be doing something enjoyable to look back on.

What do you guys think about 18 or even 21st birthdays? Should they be a memorable event or just another day?(I live in 18 where thats the drinking age, so i suppose it would be like a 21st in US)

Why do you have no friends?

About 2 years ago I left school because I had a fall out with my group of friends and ended up standing around on my larry all day.

So the next 1 & a half years was spent sitting on my ass all day long playing my computer with no outside interaction

(I got down to 98lbs from that)

So the past 6 months I have been doing nothing but reading up about weight training and doing it as my hobby

(I’m up to 140lbs now)

I currently do a fitness course which I do once a week from 9:30 - 4:30 (on my 3rd week from that so i haven’t really had any time to build friendships there)

And I do college 4 times a week for 3 hours each day. Theres 6 other people in my class other than me. I don’t really get along with them since they do alot of drugs.

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
About 2 years ago I left school because I had a fall out with my group of friends and ended up standing around on my larry all day.

So the next 1 & a half years was spent sitting on my ass all day long playing my computer with no outside interaction

(I got down to 98lbs from that)

So the past 6 months I have been doing nothing but reading up about weight training and doing it as my hobby

(I’m up to 140lbs now)

I currently do a fitness course which I do once a week from 9:30 - 4:30 (on my 3rd week from that so i’ve had trouble building friendships there)

And I do college 4 times a week for 3 hours each day. Theres 6 other people in my class other than me. I don’t really get along with them since they do alot of drugs.
[/quote]
Do you have a ged or something?

[quote]BarneyFife wrote:
Do you have a ged or something?
[/quote]

We don’t have GED’s in the UK. We have GCSE’s instead.

I dropped out before I was supposed to do those, and I’m currently finishing them in college (they are easy as anything)

University in UK is more like College in the US.

Best to go see a shrink.

I am not a mental sawbones (pshychologist) but I would think that if your friends would cause you to drop out of highschool that maybe you have a weak personality. Maybe you should go see a doctor.

My personality has changed considerably over the 2 year time span.

I am still abit self-conscience of myself and I am quite timid and shy at approaching people.

I suppose that is just due to 2 years of no real social contact (yea I talked to people on online games but i wouldn’t call that social contact).

On the other hand though, I am more determined than ever at doing personal things (i.e - weight training) and i am strong in that mind-set.

Join a club - sport,chess whatever. Although i’m quite anti-social i do have friends, i just like alone time as life is hectic. Its good you’re doing a course - do you have an end goal in mind re: a job? Are you a member of a gym or attend a leisure centre?
Hope it all works out for you.

I’m a member of my local gym yea and I plan on being a personal trainer or sports performance trainer later on in life and maybe run my own gym.

After I do my GCSE’s I’m going to shoot for as many diploma’s as I can to do with the fitness/weight training industry.

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
I’m a member of my local gym yea and I plan on being a personal trainer or sports performance trainer later on in life and maybe run my own gym.

After I do my GCSE’s I’m going to shoot for as many diploma’s as I can to do with the fitness/weight training industry.

[/quote]

Do It. Realise that to be successful in any business/life endeavour, you have to be able to communicate with random people and strangers freely. You’re gonna have to know how people tick to be successful in running your gym, and one of the best ways of doing that is observing people.

Plus friends are always excellent as company, emotional support and just for fun, not for drinking, partying and crap.

I was like you back at 16 years old. I changed myself completely at age 17, and at age (almost 19 now) I’m intensely active in my university campus, study hard, work hard, and I workout hard, plus I balance out my whole family and friends at the same time. Just work at it. Thats all there is to it.

If I moved to a new city and didn’t have any friends, I’d get a job working a couple nights a week in a bar. It should be easy enough to find work as a barback or busboy. Work hard, be positive, and help everyone out. At least here in the US, a lot of bar employees hang out with each other and are friends of people that work in other bars.

I think you should read this:
http://www.T-Nation.com/readTopic.do?id=668789

Overall, I think you need to develop goals and interests and build from there. You are very young and have plenty of room for personal growth. Some people need to make a little more effort to be social than others . It isn’t that big of a deal, just don’t get bitter.

[quote]Goodfellow wrote:
About 2 years ago I left school because I had a fall out with my group of friends and ended up standing around on my larry all day.
[/quote]

You should never abuse your larry…

[quote]Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Goodfellow wrote:
About 2 years ago I left school because I had a fall out with my group of friends and ended up standing around on my larry all day.

You should never abuse your larry…[/quote]

LMFAO

[quote]johnny_law wrote:
Digital Chainsaw wrote:
Goodfellow wrote:
About 2 years ago I left school because I had a fall out with my group of friends and ended up standing around on my larry all day.

You should never abuse your larry…

LMFAO[/quote]

Thank you! Thank you! I’m here til’ Thursday, remember to tip your waitresses.

Let me guess, you played WoW? Shit man and I thought I was anti social, but having no friends? Aren’t there any people your age where you live to get to know? Then again i guess every area isn’t like NYC where if you leave your apartment you could probably run into 10 people your age in about 5 minutes.

I’ve been in deeper holes than you are for worse reasons. You’ll survive. Start to forcefully integrate with society, presuming your ready, through hobbies. You’ll find talking to people about things you actually enjoy makes the entire process easier.

Yeah, join some type of club or organization. The more social its purpose the better. I was also similar to you when I first came to college. I only spent time with my girlfriend, but had no male friends. I did martial arts, went to class, studied, etc., but didn’t socialize much. Sophomore year I decided to fix it. I joined some organizations, found friends in my major to study with, etc. I am much happier and more content nowadays.

My advice to you would be to give up WoW completetly :wink: Find friends at they gym. Study hard.

Jeff

[quote]Phatshady912 wrote:
Let me guess, you played WoW? Shit man and I thought I was anti social, but having no friends? Aren’t there any people your age where you live to get to know? Then again i guess every area isn’t like NYC where if you leave your apartment you could probably run into 10 people your age in about 5 minutes.[/quote]

Yep, WoW is the devil =(.

My problem is that even if it was like NYC with lots of people my age, I’d still have trouble approaching them.