T Nation

Is My Girlfriend Telling the Truth or Just Manipulating Me?


Hello everyone. I have a major issue going on in my life. When i asked my girlfriend about her sexual past, at first she tried to lie by saying that she has never had sex before. After a few days later I forced her to tell the truth. She said she has had sex before and that was against her will. She told me she has only had sex once with her ex. She said she wasn’t ready for it ( she was 18 at that time and her ex boyfriend was 22) and her ex forcefully took her virginity. She kept crying and telling him to stop but she couldn’t do anything to stop him. Then I told her that you were raped what did you do after the incident? Didn’t you report this matter to police. She said said she just went to the washroom and just cried and was extremely scared and hurt. Her ex was very sorry after that incident so she just let it go. I asked her did you break up with him after that? She said no she was still in a relationship with him after that but didn’t go to his place alone again and only if she had her friends along with her. I asked what was your reason to break up with him then. She said he was cheating on him since the begining of their relationship as he already had a girlfriend for the past 6 years. Then she told me she went into depression after the breakup and it took her over an year to get over him and that incident. She even said that after the break up she tried to commit suicide by putting 10 napthalene balls in her drink but nothing happened because the balls didn’t get dissolve properly. My girlfriend loves me a hell lot. She calls and messages me all day long. She does each and every damn thing for me and put all the efforts in our relationship. We have lots of sex and I can see she is deeply in love with me.

Is there a possibility that she is just lying to me that she had sex forcefully so that she can mask her having consenting sex in her past?Because she told me that she lied in the first place because she wanted to save her virginity for his husband and this incident made her impure. And she thought that if she tell me that she is no longer a virgin i might leave her. So what do you guys think? Is she just trying to emotionally manipulate me or telling me the truth. Please help me out I just can’t handle this fact. What she just told me is killing me from inside. I keep thinking about this all the time. I am hurt and even cried because of what happened to her… Help me please. And even if she is telling the truth should I be with her as she has so much emotional baggage and this thing is effecting my mind a lot in a very negative way ( although its been 2 years since her break up and she got over this incident and we have a healthy sex life now) or I’LL GET OVER IT WITH TIME ??? please help…


Hello everyone. I have a major issue going on in my life. When i asked my girlfriend about her sexual past,

this is as far as i read
you fucked up
never, never ,ever ask a girl about her sexual past
she tells the truth,
she lies,
either way only leads to problems


For fuck’s sake, this is why I told you to let this one go. You are from a generation stuck between traditional beliefs and the influence of Western culture. It doesn’t matter whether she’s telling the truth or not. The idea of her not being virgin and the fear of having been lied to will always be at the back of your head. Shit like this will erupt when the romance phase is over.

Wait till you’re older and have more life experience before getting into a serious relationship. Maybe your mindset will change as you watch society become less conservative over the years. Or go marry a village girl.


1- cavemansam is right. Leave the past in the past. Sounds like you forced it out of her too so its going to be hard to believe any answer she gave you.

2- If she is telling the truth about every detail, the fact that SHE was raped and you’re on here concerned about the effect its having on YOU… You done fucked up bro.


Be wary and keep your wits about you. You could very well be experiencing manipulation but you may also not be.

Don’t white knight this girl. Take care of yourself first - keep your own head healthy. Tales of abuse are very easy to fall for and can be used as a potent weapon for control.

I know this from experience.

I don’t know your full situation as this is the Internet so take what I say with a pinch of salt.


you’re a young dude; this chick has issues.

You won’t ever be happy with her because there’s things you can’t get over about her past.

Finish it, move on.

Or you could try hitting her.


I was going to recommend PIIHB, but your approach is equally satisfying


I recommended that in the last thread he started about it, so I thought I’d mix it up


I like it … it’s all about options


Wow looks like you have a level 5 clinger here… I wouldn’t put my dick near anything like that, I see all kinds of crazy in that message. But hey I’m sure you love the attention it gives you so will no doubt get into a heavy relationship with her.

Until one day you snap/or the rubber snaps and it’s all too late hahaha

Good luck


Everyone lies, get used to it


Has she given you any concrete reason not to trust her? No? Then give her the benefit of the doubt. You’re just being a prick otherwise.


Sounds like a fantastic gal, seriously.

-If you love her just keep doing what you are doing (crying, being an ungrateful little bitch etc) so that she will eventually dump you for a strong, worldly man with emotional boundaries and she will get the type of guy she deserves


I check a woman’s sexual history and if she’s over 25 and hasn’t been with a dozen guys something’s wrong with her and I’d run the other way.

That’s a dozen total. Not at the same time.


Thanks for clarifying, lol…


Yeah you are right . I made a mistake of asking about her past and I think I will not be able to get it out of my mind. Ever. So breaking up is the only solution . And no I don’t want to marry a village girl . What I’ll make sure in my future relationships is never to ask a girl about her past at any cost. I was in a serious relationship before but never asked about her past and had no issues with her (even though she wasn’t a virgin ) . So I think I should not ask about a girl’s past . Lesson learnt . But as I have already asked about my girlfriend’s past I have to let this one go as now it will be difficult for me to deal with it . Thanks a lot for your advice dt79 .


She won’t . She loves me a hell lot. But I’ll let her go as I can’t move forward in life with such negative thoughts in my mind. Just too much to handle .


That’s what I am going to do .Let her go . And will make sure in my future relationships never to ask a girl about her past. Thanks for your advice yogi . Really appreciate that .


Yes I have realized that . Have to break up with her and will never repeat this mistake again in my future relationships . Thanks for your advice


Lol, Jesus… Maybe become a Monk or something.