T Nation

Is Anyone Else Here a Loner?

i dont mean socially retarded, however i’ve realized the last couple of days that im happier when im by myself than with other people. i still go out atleast once a week on a saturday night, i catch up with people but yet i feel better off when im by myself as opposed to continually with a group of people

does anyone else feel this? this might be why i like lifting weights mroe than sports because i enjoy competing against myself and enjoy the fact its just me and the iron, im not relying on others

does anyone else have the same feelings?

sorry if this is a bunch of rambling and incoherent, ive been studying nonstop for 5-6 hours and starting too have things go out one ear straight out the other

Mate trust me, after about 5 hours of constant study, not alot really makes much sense anymore.
Im much in the same vain. I do enjoy lifting the most because its just me against myself, but also i know i’d be lost without my friends.
Best thing, take a break and get some sleep. No point studying if its not staying in there.

yeh lol, but nah it just seems like any time i rely on someone else unless its my mum, they fall through or their only interested in helping if its going to give them instant benefit, i dont know if its the people i hang around with or if its life…all i know is like shaft i come through 10 times out of 10, im not a door mat but i do try and help others out

an example - a mate who was apparently interested in lifting was a member of another gym then joined my gym, at first he’d rock up and be real interested, but then his motivation plummeted it seemed, and all he’d do is a couple sets of bench and lat pull down then be gone, now this didnt really bother me cus id put my earphones on and do what i needed to do if i needed a spot atleast he wouldnt be doing too much and be there to help. this guy when he broke up with his girlfriend, i was the first one too take him to the pub keep him entertained and try and listen when he’d be depressed about his ex, one time i even had to go pick him up from a schools formal after party at 3am because he’d been kicked out and was throwing up in the gutter, a person i was seeing at the time called me, so i came and got him then proceeded had to deal with someone who was drunk and crying about his ex girlfriend…anyways then after all that he got back with his ex, and there still togethor…he didnt even tell me anything about it his little sister did…then months went by he started bailing on going out backflipping on plans he’d made, it happened occasionally not enough too be a constant thing though…then the past two months he’s continually flaked on gym saying he’ll go but never rocking up, no call or message saying things have changed…ok a msg just saying he cant make it would be alright cus hey things happen in life, the thing that annoyed me was that he’d organize it then never rock up, ok a solution to this problem was to get a new gym partner who has the same goals and mentality when i hit the weights.

then it started happening when we’d go out(i usually go out with a 3-5 other guys so its not like i was by myself), then too top it off, he’ll say lets go to a certain club but then id be expected to organize everything like how were getting there and such, also occasionally when im not up for drinking ill take a turn driving a few others have done this aswell, he hasnt…ok so your thinking maybe by now im just a door mat, i dont view it like that…i have distanced myself from this ‘mate’ another example is me and my three neighbours went to a party which he was at with his little sister, anyways long story short he picked a fight with a kid who ended up confronting him with about 15 other guys, and cause we were affiliated with him and with him when they approached him they started harassing us, he ran off while me and my neighbours were 3 against 15…luckily we got out of the situation without too much violence, then the next day he ignored the fact anything happened, he’s one of those guys who will run his mouth but when someone stands up to him he’ll run off, he talks alot of shit and never really backs it up at all…on a side note he’s also one of those people who go a person who weighs 50kg and benching is the same as a 100kg person benching 120kg, thinking that the 120 feels the same for a 100 as 70 to 50kg person also a person who always hears about stuff but is never there

however another way shorter example

on the weekend went out with some people i havent seen in awhile great times until about 1230 when especially one of my best got trashed and started making a complete ass out of himself, generally when he is sober he would pretty much constitute a t-man, however anytime alcohol is involved he continues to make a complete ass out of himself, and it doesnt make me want to go clubbing with an otherwise good bloke who doesnt bail, and steps up to the plate most times when needed

–these kind of things make me think id be better off just being a lone wolf, not fucking with other people…i’ ve got a couple of examples but i believe ive written more than most people will read

i am the vegeta character of my group

I like/need my own space a lot, I like to retreat to my garage gym or my office.

But I don’t know if I prefer just my own company, though saying that 5 minutes with the wife and I would rather be alone :slight_smile:

But I do enjoy being out with ‘the boys’ and having a good laugh too.

I am at my most happiest when I am in my office alone having internet fights :slight_smile:

I am very much a loner. I value my privacy, enjoy time with my thoughts, and feel comfortable just doing my own thing.

I whole-heartedly agree about weightlifting being an individual thing, the sports I gravitated to when I was younger were also individual sports like swim or cross country. I don’t even like lifting with a buddy, it’s almost a distraction.

And as far as studying goes - it’s a good thing I’m a loner, because the amount of time I spend studying is ridiculous.

I’m pretty sure you’ll find a lot of people like this on this site. Let’s face it the vast majority of people out there in out country just don’t understand what we do.

Freaken A if everyone doesn’t try to get me off my diet when I go out. So yea I value my alone time as well. I am 100% a person who values a few close friends rather than a lot of casual friends.

Weight lifting is between you and the weights so it makes sense why for the most part people on this site share these thoughts and values.

I’d rather train alone that drink with many. I’d rather train alone than train with other friends who ruin my training time. You can say I’m a loner, but why should I care? I’m happy the way I am, and to me, that’s all that matters.

Loners unite!

[quote]Electric_E wrote:
I am at my most happiest when I am in my office alone having internet fights :)[/quote]

In that case I challenge you to a duel, kind sir!

I can have an immensely good time alone and no that’s not locked in the bathroom with a porno mag either.

It’s being involved in someway with my passion. Whether I’m reloading ammo, a long and tedious process in my lab, or out in the field enjoying the outdoors, or lifting weights at home, solitude can be great.

Now don’t get me wrong I have a few close friends my Dad being one of them that I can enjoy these same pursuits with or with my Lady working on house projects or enjoying some leisure time together.

As I have inched closer to being forty my need or desire for most social interaction with the general public has waned. And is much different from my youth when I sought it out frequently for the same reasons most young males do.

D

It’s strange to describe how I feel about the issue. In one retrospect, I love going out with friends, laughing, and having a good time, but that could be because I enjoy a recreational non-alcoholic herbal refreshment, and it’s something best enjoyed among company.

On the other hand, I’ll have nights where I just like to sit in my room alone, playing games and just thinking about shit.

[quote]rsg wrote:
Electric_E wrote:
I am at my most happiest when I am in my office alone having internet fights :slight_smile:

In that case I challenge you to a duel, kind sir![/quote]

OK, you’re gay :stuck_out_tongue:

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Loners unite![/quote]

Can we unite separately? You know, like a sub rosa unfiication of loners that don’t actually have to meet or anything?..or have a newsletter?

I don’t know if loner is the right word so much as introverted. Someone once said that an extrovert gets their energy from being around people, an introvert gets their energy by being alone.

Personally, I’m on the extreme end of the introverted spectrum. My friends and family all know that when I’ve had enough, I’ve had enough now and am taking off. I have a dream of living alone in a hollow tree in the woods. I’d be a cat lady but I don’t like them either.


There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand. You don’t wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.

[quote]Electric_E wrote:
rsg wrote:
Electric_E wrote:
I am at my most happiest when I am in my office alone having internet fights :slight_smile:

In that case I challenge you to a duel, kind sir!

OK, you’re gay :stuck_out_tongue:

[/quote]

But my ePenis is bigger than yours!

[quote]malonetd wrote:
There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand. You don’t wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.[/quote]

But, didn’t they get together in the end? After he got his bike back of course.

D

yes i am a loner! some people around me just dont get it! im not going to explain it to them though…

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Loners unite![/quote]

Let’s start a support group!

[quote]malonetd wrote:
There’s a lotta things about me you don’t know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn’t understand. Things you couldn’t understand. Things you shouldn’t understand. You don’t wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.[/quote]

Love this quote… Quite possibly one of the funniest lines ever, especially delivered by Pee-Wee the pencil neck.

On topic, I consider myself a loner as well. Over the years I’ve watched friends and acquaintances pass; far too many to count.

In my youth it was difficult, but now I think it’s simply right of passage for most men. Hell, having the same group of people surrounding you screams “sitcom.” Friends immediatley comes to mind. I never really liked that show…

Go figure.

I’ve got my daughters, my girlfriend, my career, my family, and my sweat to keep me company.

Anything above that is a distraction.