Intimidation

Off Topic
21

[quote]Professor X wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
I travel and deal with people everyday. I know they know I’m bigger than them, but intimidated–just to be around someone bigger–please. I know it happens, but that is more the exception than the rule. If you present yourself in a non-intimidating fashion, why would it ever be a serious condition/problem.

It’s not hard for me to understand at all. I accept my size and I make no special, out-of-the-way effort to de-intimidate myself.

Maybe you, like the poster, just want to feel you intimidate those around you. I’ve probably been intimidated more by guys smaller than me than I have bigger guys. It’s always that lunatic, funky eyed, sneering dude who makes me keep an eye on him than the bigger guy at the end of the bar or cash register.

You are also 6’4". That is 5" taller than me and people do make allowances for height as far as how they deal with people. I am about 10lbs less than you so that is a rather large difference in appearance. To make it compareable at about 10lbs per inch in height, that is like you weighing about 310lbs. You don’t think people would treat you slightly different at that weight? I don’t present myself in an intimidating fashion. What does that even entail?[/quote]

So now it’s relative size. First of all the poster was 5’11"–220. I believe I answered his ?question? fairly. It wasn’t his size, it had more to do with his vibe/attitude. I think that’s probably spot on with most people who feel they intimidate.

And your response to me as to why I don’t feel I intimidate people is that–compared to you (interestingly)–I’m ‘really not that big.’ Why must you have an answer for everything? It is how you present yourself, not how much weight you move. It really is that simple.

Again, I’m sure my (our) sizes can be intimidating to some. And like you say, this may have even been helpful many times, probably without us even knowing. But I think overall, it’s not an issue. But then again, it’s not my goal in life to intimidate, so it’s not something I wonder or look for, to see if it’s happening.

22

[quote]sasquatch wrote:
But then again, it’s not my goal in life to intimidate, so it’s not something I wonder or look for, to see if it’s happening.[/quote]

Wow, Sasquatch, you really have figured me out. LOL.

While I admit that I am a naturally aggressive guy who goes for what he wants (most women love that about me) and doesn’t really stop to consider people’s feelings unless I’m in a work environment, I’m pretty damn sure I’m not concerned with scaring people away. Hell if I was like that, I wouldn’t find that 1 person out of 100 people that are actually worth talking to (kidding, sorta). I definitely like to be in control of the situations I put myself in but believe fear isn’t the best way to accomplish that.

I’m pretty good at reading people (I play a lot of poker) so when someone is intimidated, it’s not hard to tell. It’s not like I go looking for it.

By the way, I was told I looked upset most of the time when I weighed 165 lbs. so it’s not like anything has changed besides my size.

I do appreciate your input though Sasquatch, even though you seem to want to just play devil’s advocate a lot of times. You did cause the discussion that I was after, so thanks.

But do you really think you’d get the same reaction when approaching someone weighing 200 lbs. as you do at your current weight?

23

[quote]sasquatch wrote:
And your response to me as to why I don’t feel I intimidate people is that–compared to you (interestingly)–I’m ‘really not that big.’ Why must you have an answer for everything? It is how you present yourself, not how much weight you move. It really is that simple.

Again, I’m sure my (our) sizes can be intimidating to some. And like you say, this may have even been helpful many times, probably without us even knowing. But I think overall, it’s not an issue. But then again, it’s not my goal in life to intimidate, so it’s not something I wonder or look for, to see if it’s happening.[/quote]

Clearly, you are just looking to argue. If you honestly think that both of us could enter a room with the exact same clothes, the exact same facial expression and that both of us would get the exact same response, then clearly you live in a different world than I do. I guess this “debate” is over.

24

[quote]Professor X wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
And your response to me as to why I don’t feel I intimidate people is that–compared to you (interestingly)–I’m ‘really not that big.’ Why must you have an answer for everything? It is how you present yourself, not how much weight you move. It really is that simple.

Again, I’m sure my (our) sizes can be intimidating to some. And like you say, this may have even been helpful many times, probably without us even knowing. But I think overall, it’s not an issue. But then again, it’s not my goal in life to intimidate, so it’s not something I wonder or look for, to see if it’s happening.

Clearly, you are just looking to argue. If you honestly think that both of us could enter a room with the exact same clothes, the exact same facial expression and that both of us would get the exact same response, then clearly you live in a different world than I do. I guess this “debate” is over.[/quote]

Actually, I’m not looking to argue at all. I offered my opinion and then answered questions re: that answer.

You on the other hand can do nothing else. In fact, if you read your response to thers on this thread, you’ll see quite obviously, that you AGREED with my initial assessment.

You told another poster that his size was not all that intimidating by itself so it must be something else. Huh, sounds just like my initial post. It is the attitude, not the size. Yet, you continue to hound me around for stating an opinion for which you clearly agree.

Now you claim we couldn’t walk into the same room and get the same reaction. Would that include me walking into the Apollo? Or you walking into my country club? Hmmmm. Once again it’s the situation and the context, not simply the size.

Now sir, this ‘debate’ is over.

----------original poster--------------

Of course I didn’t directly mean you were a dickhead. It was meant to convey/reinforce/visualize my opinion that your attitude supercedes your size wrt the intimidation factor. Some facial expressions are part of your personality and this can have a menacing factor. Not that it’s menacing, but do you follow college basketball. Do you know that Davis kid from Michiga State? I mean he has thes eyes and expression that makes it look like he’s sulking and whining all the time. Anyway–just an example.

25

I think it’s the face. If your a pretty boy, and big…then people will generally not be intimidated, and think of you sa a big, srtong, nice guy because your face is nice…especially if you have nice hair…like hair to the side, or just a general “nice” haircut that most older men would go for.

If you have a mean looking face and all and big peopel will be much more intimidated. haha i never get intimidated by people or anything but I was with my friends, and there was this guy. around 6’1…at least 240lbs. Had quite a bit of tattoos, a piercing, and around mid 30’s. And he was definatly ugly, and mean looking.

my friends were pretty intimidated cause he was just standing there looking at my friends cause they wre staring at him lol. I dunno what kinda guy he was or anything…but if you catch a guy like that people are going to be much less intimidated than by someone who dresses proper, and has a “nice” face. OR just people are really big pussies.

dl-

26

“Your face is a window to the Gods you worship.”

OK. Pop psychology aside, there’s most probably something of a 'tude behind this issue.

I have never been as big as you, and I scared most people whom I met because “well, life is hard, life is serious, and I have no time to waste being dishonest about happiness when I’m not feeling like it”, and it showed. And I got the social feedback that this 'tude displayed.

Funny thing is, people will mirror back exactly the value you bring to them, in their own view of the world. Look out for the 'tude. 'Cause other people do, whether you want it or not.

27

[quote]Professor X wrote:
sasquatch wrote:
And your response to me as to why I don’t feel I intimidate people is that–compared to you (interestingly)–I’m ‘really not that big.’ Why must you have an answer for everything? It is how you present yourself, not how much weight you move. It really is that simple.

Again, I’m sure my (our) sizes can be intimidating to some. And like you say, this may have even been helpful many times, probably without us even knowing. But I think overall, it’s not an issue. But then again, it’s not my goal in life to intimidate, so it’s not something I wonder or look for, to see if it’s happening.

Clearly, you are just looking to argue. If you honestly think that both of us could enter a room with the exact same clothes, the exact same facial expression and that both of us would get the exact same response, then clearly you live in a different world than I do. I guess this “debate” is over.[/quote]

I couldn’t have said it better myself

28

Intimidation is not just about your size, color of your skin, or the exspressions on your face.

For example, I intimdate many people that I meet for the first time, and even people that I come in contact with everyday. Especially women.

At 5’6 175lbs I actually look big compared to most people around me, but I am no where near the size of any of you. What intimidates people is that I have an extremely deep voice. When people hear me talk for the first time it looks there they are almost scared of me.

Every once in a while I will get a compliment, but most of the time people look frightend that such a deep voice came from a small person.

Even with people I know, they seem intimidated by me when I raise my voice.

29

i myself am not all that big when it comes to weight training 6’3" 235. I dont smile or laugh unless ,well unless something is funny and i always get the whats wrong or are you mad. no nothings wrong and im not mad but why the fuck should anyone have a god damn smile on there face 24/7? if i see someone always smiling i thnk there up to some shady shit, but thats just me.

30

[quote]pappapump wrote:
i myself am not all that big when it comes to weight training 6’3" 235. I dont smile or laugh unless ,well unless something is funny and i always get the whats wrong or are you mad. no nothings wrong and im not mad but why the fuck should anyone have a god damn smile on there face 24/7? if i see someone always smiling i thnk there up to some shady shit, but thats just me.[/quote]

We all thank you for changing that avatar.

31

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

We all thank you for changing that avatar.[/quote]

Agreed.

32

to the poster that walks around sizing ppl up for a fight 24/7 nice man…

but my oppinion is size can be intimidating, i recently started training with some big guys u may heared of Dauo Audi pro bodybuilder. i think when ppl get to a certain size u cant help but be intimidated somewhat, however 230lbs is not that size…

33

It all depends on the kind of people you interact with on a daily basis and your overall demeanor.

34

[quote]vegeta4u wrote:
to the poster that walks around sizing ppl up for a fight 24/7 nice man…

but my oppinion is size can be intimidating, i recently started training with some big guys u may heared of Dauo Audi pro bodybuilder. i think when ppl get to a certain size u cant help but be intimidated somewhat, however 230lbs is not that size…[/quote]

Yeah, I think I’d agree with this one. I suppose once you reach a certain size you are inherently intimidating. But I’ve never met anyone in real life like that, even some of the U of M football players you see around campus. I think you would need to be close to professional bodybuilder size and tall to boot to be intimidating. Though I suppose that people who are smaller than myself and/or insecure in their own skin would be intimidated by less.

35

[quote]jsbrook wrote:
vegeta4u wrote:
to the poster that walks around sizing ppl up for a fight 24/7 nice man…

but my oppinion is size can be intimidating, i recently started training with some big guys u may heared of Dauo Audi pro bodybuilder. i think when ppl get to a certain size u cant help but be intimidated somewhat, however 230lbs is not that size…

Yeah, I think I’d agree with this one. I suppose once you reach a certain size you are inherently intimidating. But I’ve never met anyone in real life like that, even some of the U of M football players you see around campus. I think you would need to be close to professional bodybuilder size and tall to boot to be intimidating. Though I suppose that people who are smaller than myself and/or insecure in their own skin would be intimidated by less.[/quote]

I think you are overanalyzing this. No one is talking about walking into a room and having the women scream in terror as the guys yelp and run to pull the fire alarm. Intimidation very often means how people respond to you by either backing down when they were “confrontational” before you walked in the room, or people speaking to you as if they are afraid something they say might make you upset so they get much quieter. I have very often had my assistant come and get me stating something to the effect of, “This next patient seems to have a really bad attitude because he had to wait 5 minutes past his scheduled time in the waiting room”. Meanwhile, I can walk in the room and there is suddenly no problem. It is the same way some people may speak down to a woman but not a man in the same situation. It doesn’t mean the other person is AFRAID of the man more than the woman, but he will more than likely think twice about what he says because he sees the man as more of a threat. I am not sure why people are acting as if this doesn’t happen. It happens everyday.

36

I got the same thing and it increased the more my traps got bigger, having the power look as CT calls it, its easy to see the sissy lifters and the real lifters by what they look like with a shirt on.

37

Some of it or rather a lot of it is body language, stuff people pick up from your movements and gestures. At least here, many ‘bodybuilders’ are usually short guys, and most are shaved head types and not the best looking guys to start with.

You don’t get many of the classic ‘California’ type tanned guys, its more pasty pale, stocky no neck guys who are usually lacking in social skills anyway.

Having said that I was in a large shopping centre a few years back and saw a huge, maybe 6’5 guy of about 280lbs, wearing head rag, usual baggy trousers and rag tops and very tanned. He was with his tiny girlfriend, at least she looked tiny next to him and he held a door open for me, and he said something like ‘there you go’ as he kind of comically wheeled round to grab the door. Sort of like of like Hulk Hogan persona. He came across as a friendly guy instantly, so its not so much appearance and size its how you act and speak.

Lot’s of Bodybuilders are also quite quiet people, Dorian Yates is quite reserved. I met Sean ‘Dinosaur’ Davies a few times and he was very talkative, polite and friendly. Having said that I was talking to some big Rugby players who work out who were complete twats, so its more the character that comes across, to me anyway.

38

[quote]Professor X wrote:
jsbrook wrote:
vegeta4u wrote:
to the poster that walks around sizing ppl up for a fight 24/7 nice man…

but my oppinion is size can be intimidating, i recently started training with some big guys u may heared of Dauo Audi pro bodybuilder. i think when ppl get to a certain size u cant help but be intimidated somewhat, however 230lbs is not that size…

Yeah, I think I’d agree with this one. I suppose once you reach a certain size you are inherently intimidating. But I’ve never met anyone in real life like that, even some of the U of M football players you see around campus. I think you would need to be close to professional bodybuilder size and tall to boot to be intimidating. Though I suppose that people who are smaller than myself and/or insecure in their own skin would be intimidated by less.

I think you are overanalyzing this. No one is talking about walking into a room and having the women scream in terror as the guys yelp and run to pull the fire alarm. Intimidation very often means how people respond to you by either backing down when they were “confrontational” before you walked in the room, or people speaking to you as if they are afraid something they say might make you upset so they get much quieter. I have very often had my assistant come and get me stating something to the effect of, “This next patient seems to have a really bad attitude because he had to wait 5 minutes past his scheduled time in the waiting room”. Meanwhile, I can walk in the room and there is suddenly no problem. It is the same way some people may speak down to a woman but not a man in the same situation. It doesn’t mean the other person is AFRAID of the man more than the woman, but he will more than likely think twice about what he says because he sees the man as more of a threat. I am not sure why people are acting as if this doesn’t happen. It happens everyday. [/quote]

Sure, I’d agree. But I think a lot of it has to do with personality, forcefulness, confidence, and the way you carry yourself. This often comes in conjunction with size. But you see it in people who are smaller as well. I guess it’s what we here would call being an alpha male.

39

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Rockscar wrote:

We all thank you for changing that avatar.

Agreed.[/quote]

wow this is the second post that i have been thanked.I do what i can for my peeps.

40

[quote]Victor Lustig wrote:
Some of it or rather a lot of it is body language, stuff people pick up from your movements and gestures. At least here, many ‘bodybuilders’ are usually short guys, and most are shaved head types and not the best looking guys to start with.

You don’t get many of the classic ‘California’ type tanned guys, its more pasty pale, stocky no neck guys who are usually lacking in social skills anyway.

Having said that I was in a large shopping centre a few years back and saw a huge, maybe 6’5 guy of about 280lbs, wearing head rag, usual baggy trousers and rag tops and very tanned. He was with his tiny girlfriend, at least she looked tiny next to him and he held a door open for me, and he said something like ‘there you go’ as he kind of comically wheeled round to grab the door. Sort of like of like Hulk Hogan persona. He came across as a friendly guy instantly, so its not so much appearance and size its how you act and speak.

Lot’s of Bodybuilders are also quite quiet people, Dorian Yates is quite reserved. I met Sean ‘Dinosaur’ Davies a few times and he was very talkative, polite and friendly. Having said that I was talking to some big Rugby players who work out who were complete twats, so its more the character that comes across, to me anyway.
[/quote]

We aren’t even talking about during conversation. As was said before, people that know me don’t think this. Those who see me walk by have a different impression. You are talking about personalities, when the reality is, most people just seeing you walk past them have no clue what your personality is like and make immediate judgements based only on appearance. That’s reality, not expecting to hold a conversation with or smile at every single person who sees you.