T Nation



Am I the only one here who is able to walk away from SO if she
tries to fuck with my head without one word, without arguing,
just go away and disappear from her life when I realize there
is nothing more to be discussed and she will not change for the

A friend of mine is breaking up with his gf and they have been
discussing this for the past few days, in person, via cellular
phone messages and probably even email. I do not understand that.
Their relationship was dead long ago. Why are they beating the
dead horse now?

Am I really some kind of insensitive freak? I knew this girl for
5 years, she was my best friend and lover. It took me 5 years to see
what she really is. After I left without one word, I had to drive
400 miles on my bike back to my hometown. After 15 minutes, the only
thing I was sorry for was that I had to leave in a hurry before she
comes from work and I could not prepare my meals for the day, so I
had to eat chocolate bars on the gas stations along the way.

Or am I perhaps somebody in control of my emotions who is able
to recognize harmful people and remove them from my life so they
cannot cause any harm?

Please, share your ideas and experiences with me, I appreciate it.

While there is something to be said for not putting up with people’s crap and being able to walk away from a situation, there’s also something to be said for being a man and facing people. Though you might not think so initially, it’s kind of cowardly to just run from a situation like that. I used to think the same thing too, but now I realize the truth.

After 5 years, no matter who she was, she at least deserves you telling her “fuck off” to her face.

You are not insensative. Your buddy needs to put the past behind him with the absolute bye-bye wave. You can never go back, ever. I have never, EVER gotten back with anyone after she dumped me or I dumped her. You learned your lesson, huh. TAKE THE FOOD

Dude I understand what your saying. I have never pined over a girl for more than 5 mins., and after that I am just thinking, “Shit I just wasted some gas and some time that could have used to study.” I am also not that emotional, I think very efficiently. I am guessing you do to.

Have you ever considered a job as a Hit Man? I think, Axy, you have all the qualifications.

Once you make that descision, then no, there’s nothing more to say.

But I’m betting that there was plenty of arguing and heartache leading up to the “cut-off”, right?

You’re a pod. We humans have emotions and sometimes feel uncomfortable. But you don’t. Because you’re a Pod. If I was sober I could quote the Seinfeld episode a bit better. Anyway, I like to hang around with people like you because you seem the type to say what everyone else wishes they had the balls to say.

If I told a girl something wasn’t working out & she ignored it or made half-assed effort to do something about it the next time I see her I’d say ‘have a nice life’. & that would be it. If I brought it up I obviously want to do something about it & she didn’t then too bad for her.

Like I said, I did not just go away - I was discussing her behaviour for months prior to that. I came to a point where further talk would not do any good. She does not understand the basic principles behind trust in a relationship, mutual understanding and being honest with her man - neither she ever will!

Char-dawg, no, not heartache, at least not on my side. I tend to be very rational. It is in fact a very long story and it is my fault that I wanted to help a friend and that is what she was to me for a very long time. She was hooked on H for three years and I was there for her when she was kicking her habit. She is also bulimic and I taught her a lot about nutrition and weight training. Unfortunately, she obviously has much deeper issues than bulimia and opiate addiction. At the very end, I found out she is a nymphomaniac and has some other very serious personality disorders that are difficult to put in a few short sentences. Of course, intelectually, on the surface, she is brilliant, her family and people around her love her, she is a star in her company etc… and nobody but me knows the truth.

Avoids Roids, I hope you feel stupid for saying what you just said. It serves you well. Keep up the good work.

You certainly have the right idea Axy. I genuinely wish I could be unemotional in this way, it would save me a whole load of shit! Got any tips?

Templeton, just don’t let your heart control your mind and reason. As simple as that.

Do I feel stupid? Nah. You just proved my point in one of your replies above. Humans have emotions. Sociopaths do not. Sociopaths make for good hit men. YOU asked for opinions and I gave you mine. Why get irritable for getting what you asked for? If you just want opinions that support your actions, ask for positive opinions only. Opps, its almost time for my stupid pill. Hasta Luego :slight_smile:

Axy, I’d say you are actually a pretty emotional person. Nothing wrong with that, most people see emotional guys as being weak, so I can understand why you wouldn’t want to acknowledge it. (Especially to this crowd). But, for you to take on a person like that into your life, shows me more about your character and what’s really inside you than your initial post does. I think your bike ride was probably about covering up and repressing some really deep felt emotions, so you just slammed them to the back of your mind, and put up a stoic front, so you didn’t have to deal with what was tearing you up inside. I’m not judging you, I just think that’s my observation of what’s going on. You should be commended for trying to help out someone with a drug problem, I have done the same thing, and realize the battle that it wages inside, it’s really really tough and frustrating to try and believe in someone with a drug problem. Ultimatly, you realize there is nothing you can do about it, and the best thing is to just cut ties and hope they figure it out for themselves. So I can certainly understand why you did what you did, she was probably dragging you into a black hole and taking you down with it. When you don’t make that clean break, it becomes very confusing. You went out of your way for 5 years to try and be a friend to this person, but in the end, you were putting out energy that never came back to you. And in the end, you have to take care of yourself before you can share your life with someone else. Though, I bet that you are still feeling conflicted inside, on one hand you have alot of feelings and connections with this girl and want to help her, but on the other hand, you know you have to stay away and take care of yourself so you don’t live the rest of your life being miserable. You did the right thing.

Striker, I would say that you are completely right. You may say that psychology is a hobby of mine and I know quite a bit about it: what you just described is a typical scenario of coping with problems. I am really into logic and rationalization when problems in life arise and try not to get overly emotional. Emotions just blunt one’s mind and drive you further away from the problem solution. It is strange that people sometimes flog the dead horse when it is obvious there is no help. Btw. luckily, a friend of mine finally claimed his balls from the jar on the shelf and dumped the greedy psycho bitch. I really do not know why it takes sometimes years for people to realize who are they dealing with. Even to the people who might be characterized as bright, brilliant, smart. On the other hand, what was I thinking when I wanted to save somebody who was bulimic and a junkie? Not too much obviously. They say that compassion is a fool’s curse and after my latest experience I tend to agree.