T Nation

I'm not trying hard enough?

Remember back when I was Natey I put up that thing about that bus girl & everybody said I just wasn’t trying hard enough? Now a bunch of people I’ve talked to say the same thing but they don’t say what that means. Well nothing’s changed because I don’t think I’ve know what hard enough is somebody help me pleez out without calling me spineless wimp. I also don’t really know what to say to this girl because sometimes when I’ve tried to talk to her before, she’s pretended to not know who I am & generally been a stuck up cow, so I don’t know whether I’ll get nice friendly babe or the other one. I don’t know if that matters or what. btw she knows exactly who I am, where I work, what I’m majoring in, etc. so it’s not like I’m a total stranger & this has been going on for almost 2.5 yrs now & I’m gettiing fed up.

hey bud i don’t know your whole story but if this girl is bein a snot most of the time you see her then she prolly is missin out or needs a frickin clue.

Okay, here’s a little lesson in human relations: Whatever a person is before they get to know you is usually what they become MORE of when the do get to know you. That’s one of those things that makes relationships go sour – after that magical “in-love” feeling subsides (usually takes 6-24 months), you start to really see those irritating things, and you start getting off your best behavior. If she’s this way now, how do you think she’s going to treat you 2 years into a relationship? Don’t waste your time with her. Move on.

You need to put in some groundwork. You wouldn’t expect to bench 400 lbs the first time in the gym, but you expect to pull a chick without any practice? Come on.

Go out and approach 10 women per day for the next 2 weeks. Don’t try to pick them up, just shoot the breeze with them. Talk about the weather, a movie, whatever you want. At the end of two weeks, you’ll have spoken with 140 women. At this point, you won’t give a shit about “this one chick” because you’ll have gotten a dozen phone numbers and will be too busy with women to even think about her.

BTW, if she’s acting like a bitch after 2 1/2 years, she is a bitch. Move on to the next one(s).

I forgot to say that when she gives me a chance to talk to her, I usually chicken out. Then maybe a week or so later I borrow another guys balls & try to talk to her & that’s when she pretends she doesn’t know who I am. She could easily think that I’m not interested when the opposite is true & maybe wants to give me some of my own medicine.

Go do the de-shying mission I just gave you. After two weeks, you won’t care whether or not you ever talk to her again. You know what happens at this point? The minute you blow her off and don’t want her anymore is the minute she will be intrigued with you. Cut yourself some slack, get off your dead ass and GO DO IT!!! You’ll surprise yourself with the results.

I asked what it means to try hard not whether I should still go after her, lots of people have told me to find another girl as well. I don’t think I know the difference between offending her by, say following her everywhere until she gives in or being more polite about it. It would be cool though to do something that really makes her mad at me but not hate me for it.

She’s not interested. Start approaching other women. If she was into you, she would hsve made it a little easier. Hate to say it, but sometimes shy people can come across as wierd or creepy to a woman.

Natey, Drax, whatever your name is, forget this woman. There are other fish in the sea, and no one is worth this much angst. Next time you see her, pretend that she weights 400 pounds and has a complection like a pretzel. That should put you in the correct frame of mind.

I don’t care what you guys say, this girl IS interested if the number of chances is anything to go by. It’s not like she’s given me just one chance & that’s it. Why would she keep coming back to me? Anyway that doesn’t matter because I found a new girl (well not really but just pretend). What would it mean to try hard with HER?

I give up.

sorry… this story seems to be dragging on… if she was interested she wouldn’t keep blowing you off. it sounds like you’re some sort of ‘amusement’ and if she’s being hot and cold with you she’s playing a game. i’d just give it up and move on

Maybe she thinks your a stalker